March 2014 Moms

why is it socially acceptable to comment on a pregnant woman's weight???!!!

I know most people wouldn't walk up to a non-pregnant woman and say, "Oh good morning. By the way, your face is looking chunky." So why is it ok for people to make these comments to pregnant women? I realize gaining weight is essential while pregnant, but most women aren't used to packing on 20 to 30 lbs in a small period of time, so why do people feel the need to mention it...constantly!!!!!

While being at work for maybe a full three hours I got these comments:
1. "Oh I can really tell in your face your pregnant now. Youre filling out"
2. "Girl look at those chunky cheeks. Youre really pregnant now!!"
3. "Youre definitely looking more and more like your sister. Especially in the face" (My twin sister who has a much rounder, full face and who has always been a little bit bigger than me).

I finally snapped and said a little too loudly "obviously my face is getting f*cking fat, thanks everyone for pointing it out." Then everyone just joked about my hormones. ......ha. ha. Hilarious.

Anyone else getting these comments? What the F is wrong with people?
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Re: why is it socially acceptable to comment on a pregnant woman's weight???!!!

  • Heck no! I would punch someone who said my face is fat!
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  • KayCee85KayCee85 member
    edited January 2014
    The thing is....I didnt even really think my face looked any different! After getting three comments in one morning, Im beginning to get a complex.
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  • I have no idea!! Lol, seriously! So rude.
    BFP#1 11/10* DS Born via Cesarean 7/11* BFP#2 EDD 1/31/14 *M/C 6/13* BFP #3 RCS 3/14/14
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    "I wish that I could bake a cake, made out of rainbows and smiles. And we would all eat it and be happy." 
  • It is certainly NOT socially acceptable! I am not a sensitive person but if people said that to me I would definitely have a response- because it's too inappropriate
  • I haven't had strangers comment on my weight directly, but if one more person assumes I am due any day now I may lose it! From people in the check out lane to strangers in restaurants I have heard it all. People are so rude!

                          

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  • I keep getting comments on how small I am for 7 months. You think is be happy but not when they accompany comments like "is the baby growing okay?" "Is your doc concerned" and other renditions of that. Like stfu please
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  • laurstarx said:

    I keep getting comments on how small I am for 7 months. You think is be happy but not when they accompany comments like "is the baby growing okay?" "Is your doc concerned" and other renditions of that. Like stfu please

    This. I am in the same boat and get the same comments. Yeah thanks for putting THAT in my head.
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  • edited January 2014
    I was about to start a post about this then I saw your post. Just had an older lady tell me the most horrendous thing. "Come over here. Turn around. Girl are you sure you aren't having twins? One in the front, and one in the back."

    Ummmm no I'm not having twins. "Well, then she's a huge baby because you're a lot bigger than when you weren't pregnant."

    Why the heck would you say that to someone???? :'(
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  • People keep asking me how much I've gained. I *think* they are trying to be nice? Saying it doesnt look like I've gained much (wishful thinking), but jeez its none of your business how much weight I've gained. I just say enough and they usually get the idea. Why do people feel its ok to comment/inquire about a pregnant woman's weight? Its not anymore acceptable just because I'm prego.
  • It is never acceptable to comment a woman's weight, especially when pregnant!   One of my students said, "I can tell you are getting fatter."  He didn't mean anything by it (a third grader) and I said, "Yes the baby is getting bigger!"  If an adult commented on my weight, I would tell him/her that is a really rude thing to say.
  • Wow. I think I'd have to smack someone for comments like that.
  • Ew, totally annoying. Good for you for snapping at them. Maybe if anyone else says anything, you can cry, too... make them feel guilty for being assholes!!
  • My grandma told me that I was"getting quite a rear" today, at my baby shower
  • I work with a lady who tells me I'm waddling every single time I see her. She did it constantly with my first one too. I don't even think I'm wadding, but it makes me way more mad than it should. So annoying!!!
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  • I hate this. I find it's mostly older women with me. Today, we saw family friends, who we see weekly, and she said I just heard you were pregnant. How far along? I told her 7 months, she's like wow! Well you were a big girl to start with, so you can't tell. Umm thanks? That's why my clothes don't fit? Another family friend did the same thing last week. They have no filter.
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  • Yeah a custodian at my school said to me, "you're carrying that baby all in your thighs!" I was slightly confused as to how you can carry a baby in your legs, so I just gave her a look and walked on.
  • My MIL told me on my birthday that I'm "MUCH bigger than I was with" my DD.

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  • I had a bunch of people say stupid things to me at work at last week. feel like they don't know what else to say, they don't need to,say anything...and I just went to a birthing class and look like everyone else...STFU, already. This is not small talk! Vent over....
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  • My coworkers always comment on my weight. They always comment on how huge I am and how much bigger I'm going to get. This past week they kept asking me if I was waddling yet. Then they watched me walk down the hall to see if I was. People are annoying and have no filter!
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  • my father just told me he thinks I'm having twins
    my stepmother proudly agreed and said, 'yes, you are getting bigger!' with wide bulging eyes.

    These comments never fail to catch me by surprise. Shocks the hell out of me that people are so lame they can think of nothing else to 'chat you up with' besides commenting on the necessary gain of pregnancy. fuckers.

  • For me, it's generally older people too - women and men!! Why is this ok?!?! Also does my head in when "larger" older women say your huge and back when they had theirs everyone was much smaller..... Errrrr pretty sure I'm average and your just fat now so do one!

    Also I know a couple who are obsessed with telling me they think it will come mid February (due march 14th) - I really hope not!!! 4weeks early is not my plan for this one! I tell them I hope not as it would likely have to stay in hospital for extra care as it would be too early - seems to shut them up till the next time. It also embarrassed them on Friday night when they started it up again so I gave the same response loudly so everyone knew how much of an idiot they were being....
  • See I get even more mad when I say something back, and they go "oh there are those hormones!"
    No its not hormones, you are being rude and I am telling you that it is mean and hurtful. Don't pretend like what you say is OK and that I am "just hormonal".  You are an ass.

    I can't wait to say some of the things people say to me back to them when they get pregnant. I could go on and on, but I just can;t believe I have held my tongue on certain occasions.
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  • People have no limits as to what they say to pregnant women. I'm in a constant state of shock as to the boldness of the general public on this matter. I spent a majority of the first part of my pregnancy worrying I was gaining too fast because if comments like "you sure you're not having twin" and now the second part worrying she's not growing because of comments like "you're so small"! Seriously pple and I big or small??!!! Make up your damn mind
  • Brigie029Brigie029 member
    edited January 2014
    I've had people "concerned" that I'm too small for 7 months and ask me, "what's wrong with the baby?". I was a size 0-2 before and have a high metabolism and one girl at work told me, "man, I was hoping to see you fat". Um-issues? And, what people didn't know while they were giving me these backhanded compliments (constantly, I might add) is that I have a single umbilical artery so there could have been something wrong and everytime someone said something I wanted to cry. A friends Mom actually said that our other friend who is 5mos looks so much more healthy than me. Oh, do you see me naked? So rude! We just went for a fetal echo scan this week an everything was perfectly fine so now I know that next time someone says something to not get upset, but I'll probably start saying something to people if they comment. Or just stare. Making them feel awkward. People shut up! It's like the world goes crazy and everyone thinks it's okay to just spew rudeness. Oh well. Baby is worth it :)
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