I need advice/help: At what point do I stop trying to BF.

lauralye267 · January 2014

So long story short DS was able to latch in hospital no problem. We got him home two days later and the next day he is super fussy b/c my milk hasn't come in and basically he had lost 1.5 pounds since birth. Ped. Has us use supplemental formula from bottle, DS wouldn't latch on at all. Went to LC two days ago, was able to get him back on with no problem after a day and a half back to not latching and just screaming and and screaming. I can get him I latch with DH help sometimes but it is a struggle. Basically I've cried several times over it and feel like if I don't BF I'm a terrible mom. At why point do you say I have tried my best? Has anyone experienced this? Thanks for any help.

sleepymonkey · January 2014

It is such a personal decision as to how hard you want to try to breastfeed. My LO latched well at first but then had jaundice and since my milk was not coming in fast enough, we had to give her formula to feed her enough to flush out the bilirubin. Once she got that bottle, she no longer wanted the boob and would cry and fight me every time I tried to get her to latch. I went to an LC and she recommended a pumping schedule and some supplements but after 3 days, my milk was getting less and less. So after a lot of thought, I decided to throw in the towel and just stick to formula. It was a hard decision but the right one for me. The stress and frustration just wasn't good for me or my baby.

redmond_steph · January 2014

I'd say it depends how important it is to you to BF. If the LC was able to get the latch right away than it might just take a bit more practice. However, if you feel at the end of your rope with it than move to FF or EP with no shame! You need to be able to enjoy this time with LO and not feel stressed out.

ScarlettV · January 2014

Have you considered just pumping?

bubblesmtu · January 2014

In the hospital the lactation consultant gave me a supplemental feeder that was this little tube that drips in formula or pumped milk while they are latched on. I used it because my milk didn't come in and it helped LO latch because there was actually some good coming from my boob using that. Might be worth looking into - I just can't remember the exact name of the device.

liz429 · January 2014

Why not pump abd supplement if needed. Ive noticed Finn is a lot better at latching at 3 weeks compared to 1 week etc. And by pumping you can always periodically attempt latching wo the pressure

TXmamatobe · January 2014

Cashingn2 said:
I switched to pumping and we are both happier. We supp with formula too. No shame. Do what's best for you and LO.

Yaassss! This. I EP and it has been amazing since the switch. Less stressful for me and baby.

SarahDavis83 · January 2014

I had the same issues. I got to where I would try once a day, and then pump to try to get my milk to come in. Magically, my son suddenly latched at almost two weeks. He now breastfeeds during the day and formula feeds at night. Do whatever is right for your family, but just know sticking with it worked out for us after a rough start. Sure, he's still on formula too, but I'm still hopeful to eventually EBF. HTH! Whatever you decide to do will be the right decision.

imrachellea · January 2014

I've been incredibly stressed with BFing but it is getting better. LO still will not initially latch without a nipple shield, but may let me take it off after 10 mins or so, when my nips are easier to latch on from her initial sucking. It seems, due to a day during the 3 week growth spurnt where she was attached from 10a to 5p, that she is more efficient in sucking and getting fuller faster. And today, we successfully BF side laying...and mama took a nap! I will say that I also made the decision to supplement as needed with formula. I was constantly stressed about her latching, wondering if she was eating enough, stress at the fight to eat or stay awake, worry about my supply...my stress level is WAY down after making the decision. My goal is 75/25 breastmilk/formula. Whenever she gets a BM bottle from DH or formula, I pump for 15-20 mins. SO much better than a 2 hour battle at the boob. You just need to decide what works for you and not feel any guilt if your baby is being feed proper nutrition, whatever that my look like for you.

lollipoppoop · January 2014

Cashingn2 said:
I switched to pumping and we are both happier. We supp with formula too. No shame. Do what's best for you and LO.

This is what I do and I don't feel bad, do what's best for you

2010weddinggal · January 2014

My baby never latched and pumping was super stressful cause I too was not getting enough and when I was supplementing more then 50% of his meals I decided it was time to EFF. I do not regret my choices he is now gaining weight and is happy, and I'm less stressed out. Listen to yourself and do not think you are a bad mama cause you are not BF is just not for everyone and not everyone can produce

zxifnswdjdfn · January 2014

bubblesmtu said:
In the hospital the lactation consultant gave me a supplemental feeder that was this little tube that drips in formula or pumped milk while they are latched on. I used it because my milk didn't come in and it helped LO latch because there was actually some good coming from my boob using that. Might be worth looking into - I just can't remember the exact name of the device.

That's an SNS - supplemental nursing system.

Schreckswife09 · January 2014

My LO won't latch either. I have moved to pumping and supplementing with formula. I agree with what the others have said, do what is best for you and baby.

MissJenna2011 · January 2014

I didn't BF w. my first two, so decided I was gonna try really hard this time w. baby #3. But my milk took forever to come in, my breasts were raw, I cried everytime it was time to nurse.. so i made the choice to switch to formula, and I actually don't feel like a failure! You shouldn't you tried your best and you have to do whats best for you & baby. Since then my breasts have healed and we're attempting BF again but mainly pumping. My plan is to give baby 2-3 pumped bottles and the rest formula throughout the day, for as long as it works for us.

aessary03 · January 2014

I EFF my son because I didn't produce much milk. Deciding to do that was such a huge relief after the stress of trying to pump and never getting anything.

mh89 · January 2014

If breastfeeding is important to you, keep trying! Keep practicing and asking for help. Be patient, breastfeeding isn't easy at first and both you and baby need to learn to do it. It'll be slow going and frustrating at the beginning, but after the first month or two it becomes so easy and wonderful. Continuing to use a bottle will hinder your breastfeeding relationship and is likely why the baby is fussy at the boob now - bottle nipples are easier to get milk from than the breasts and newborns are lazy. If you do need to use a bottle, follow the tips in Amy's breastfeeding sticky thread for how best to do it. If bf is not that important to you, then there is absolutely no shame or anything wrong with formula feeding. It's your personal choice and preference and both are good options. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!!

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