- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
PinkRoses
member
A Slap in the Face from the Universe (*healthy pregnancy mentioned*)
PinkRoses
member
Sorry ladies, I just needed to vent. I had my followup for my d&c today. My doctor was actually pretty compassionate and supportive and comforting, which was great, cus sometimes he says things that are a bit... abrupt or insensitive.
So while I dodged that bullet, I got hit with an entirely unexpected source of pain. I go into the exam room and got undressed. As I was sitting there, I notice that the ultrasound machine still has an ultrasound on the screen from the last patient.
I saw it right away. I hoped it was of an IUD or something innocuous but of course it wasn't. I know I shouldn't have looked, but I did. I couldnt help it. It was right there on this large monitor next to the exam table in this tiny room and I just knew it was of a pregnancy and I was just drawn to it.
The due date was 2 days after mine.
I had stopped calculating how far along I'd be now if things had continued, cus I figured it wasn't healthy and I should be moving forward. But there it was on the screen in front of me. Gestational Age 10w 4 days. I was just transfixed, knowing that that's what my baby would look like if things hadn't ended.
I turned away and tried to distract myself but I was just drawn to the image. I couldn't stop looking. When the doctor came in we talked for a bit and I noticed he took the image down and didn't say anything, but he must have known that I saw it.
I didn't say anything. Maybe I should have. That they should be more careful about these things - firstly for patient confidentiality reasons but also for sensitivity. I really thought that I was doing well and moving forward, but this hit me hard. I don't even know how to describe what it did to me, but I feel like I've been set back now.
I feel like a glass of wine and a good cry about now...
So while I dodged that bullet, I got hit with an entirely unexpected source of pain. I go into the exam room and got undressed. As I was sitting there, I notice that the ultrasound machine still has an ultrasound on the screen from the last patient.
I saw it right away. I hoped it was of an IUD or something innocuous but of course it wasn't. I know I shouldn't have looked, but I did. I couldnt help it. It was right there on this large monitor next to the exam table in this tiny room and I just knew it was of a pregnancy and I was just drawn to it.
The due date was 2 days after mine.
I had stopped calculating how far along I'd be now if things had continued, cus I figured it wasn't healthy and I should be moving forward. But there it was on the screen in front of me. Gestational Age 10w 4 days. I was just transfixed, knowing that that's what my baby would look like if things hadn't ended.
I turned away and tried to distract myself but I was just drawn to the image. I couldn't stop looking. When the doctor came in we talked for a bit and I noticed he took the image down and didn't say anything, but he must have known that I saw it.
I didn't say anything. Maybe I should have. That they should be more careful about these things - firstly for patient confidentiality reasons but also for sensitivity. I really thought that I was doing well and moving forward, but this hit me hard. I don't even know how to describe what it did to me, but I feel like I've been set back now.
I feel like a glass of wine and a good cry about now...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: A Slap in the Face from the Universe (*healthy pregnancy mentioned*)
I can totally relate. Yesterday at my initial appt for my D&C scheduled today, I heard the dr in the room next to me. He was getting a read on the baby's heartbeat. Loud and clear. I covered my ears and told my husband to let me know when it stopped. But tears definitely began streaming down my face. Thanks paper thin walls
BFP #1: 12/05/2012; EDD 08/09/2013; MC 01/2013 (missed, D&C)
BFP #2: 12/19/2013; EDD 08/25/2014; MC 01/2014 (natural)
I even think I would have managed better if I had seen an ultrasound of a pregnancy that was much farther along than my own would have been. The fact that it was a baby looking practically EXACTLY the way mine would have... It just felt like a personal FU from the universe. I mean, what are the chances??
I can't remember the name of the poster who works in an OB's office. Is it ACSchultz? Anyway, my heart truly truly goes out to you. To be surrounded by that all day so intensely must be hard to bear.
@pinkroses sending you lots of healing thoughts and prayers!
My nurse then took me in to the room and was asking the usual questions and asked about my LMP, when I told get the date she looked at me and said you haven't had one since and I was like uh, no, I'm 2 weeks post d&e no period yet. WTH. Lastly as i sat waiting for the doc, I could hear them doing an u/s in another room because I heard a loud, long, fast heartbeat.