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June 2012 Moms
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baptism (vent)

acbfreireacbfreire member
in June 2012 Moms
Hello ladies! I wanted some opinions here...
We are traveling to visit our families in Brazil next month. My mother has not met DD yet (long story).
My best friend of 30 years asked me to be her son's godmother and I gladly accepted it. We discussed about our children having their baptisms together and I thought it would be a very special ceremony: two best friends and our children being baptized together.
I talked to my mom about it and she is having all kinds of issues with the baptism being together. I do not agree with her. She is insisting that we do a community baptism (the church that she wants DD to be baptized in does not do separate ceremonies, only community ones) because it is more private and intimate than me sharing the ceremony with my friend (huh?). Our families have known each other since we were born and always had a good relationship. My mom and my friend's mom always got along, but kind of lost touch over the past decade.
My mom is saying that my decision to have it with my friend is taking away from a family moment, especially because she hasn't met DD yet. Also, the baptism day is the same as my brother's birthday and she said it would be wrong.
I asked my brother if he would be offended if the ceremony was in the morning and he said no. Then my mom said that he just said it but does not think so. I replied that he is a grown man and he was free to speak his mind.
We are not having any kind of party of get together afterwards, so I do not see any problem in doing the baptism with my friend instead of random strangers.
I told my mom that if my friend has a party afterwards, then we would not do the baptisms together, but that would be the only reason that I can see as a conflict.
I am missing something here? My mom is taking away from a moment that should be about celebrating our children because it is not the way that SHE envisioned it, so she is trying to guilt trip me by saying I will be offending my family...
Give me your thoughts, please.

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Re: baptism (vent)

  • Meery82Meery82 member
    I'm my opinion, you're Mom, you get the final say regarding your daughter. Is your friend in Brazil as well?
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  • acbfreireacbfreire member
    Yes, she is
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  • mountainkimimountainkimi member
    Your child. Your choice. Your mom may express her opinions/desires but you have final say.
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  • Meery82Meery82 member
    Yeah, I don't see what the big deal is. It's your decision and she's being babyish about it.
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  • acbfreireacbfreire member
    Meery82 said:
    Yeah, I don't see what the big deal is. It's your decision and she's being babyish about it.
    I think so too! I cannot see why she is making such a big deal out of it and her reasons do not make any sense to me.
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  • JessieCupcakeJessieCupcake member
    Your mom isn't making any sense here. A community Baptism with strangers is ok but having a joint Baptism with your friend is not? I don't get her reasoning.

    And bringing up your brother's birthday is weird too. It was nice of you to even ask him if it was ok with him but IMO you didn't even need to do that.

    You should do what you want and makes you happy. I tried to accommodate others with both my DS's Baptism and first birthday and both times I ended up feeling resentful. Some people will make everything about them and what they want when really it should be about your child.

    Do what you want to do. It's your LO's time to shine.
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  • acbfreireacbfreire member
    JessieCupcake said:
    Some people will make everything about them and what they want when really it should be about your child.
    I agree 100%
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  • DawnLillyDawnLilly member
    Has your friend been a part of your LO's life since the beginning? If so, then her relationship with you and your LO has more significant bearing than your mother's.
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  • acbfreireacbfreire member
    DawnLilly said:
    Has your friend been a part of your LO's life since the beginning? If so, then her relationship with you and your LO has more significant bearing than your mother's.
    We live in different countries. Neither my mom nor my friend have met DD yet.

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