Another Terrible Two's question...

Re: Another Terrible Two's question...

• Veittobe member

  January 2014

  Right before DD turned 2 she started refusing to do things - wouldn't put on her jacket, refused to put on shoes, didn't want to eat supper ("I don't like that", "I don't wanna eat"), wouldn't sit in her car seat to allow me to buckle her in, etc.  I think most of that is from her desire for independence.  

  
  

  I found if I gave her more choices or let her attempt something first, she does better.  But not always.     

  
  

  For example, when we put her boots on in the morning now I set them up with the right and left next to each other and she puts her feet into them.  Or with her shoes, I can get them started, but she has to put them on and do the velcro herself.  Sometimes I have to give her a reminder - "either you do it now or I will".  It does feel like a constant negotiation sometimes.  And it can absolutely get exhausting.  Getting out of the house or out of daycare is always the hardest.  But letting her "help" at least avoids some of the tantrums (both hers and mine)  

  
  

  I keep hearing 3 is worse.  I could be in trouble. 

  

  
  

  
  

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• tracey4228 member

  January 2014

  I keep hearing 3 is worse.  I could be in trouble. 

  We let DD do as much as she was able to do, including picking her own clothes. We also tap into her natural competitiveness by saying, "I bet I can do it faster," etc. We're also big on giving her choices - she can wear a coat or stay inside for example.
  
  And 3 is worse. 3 is so much more fun overall but be prepared for bigger battles.
  

  Baby Girl P - 11/15/10

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• janinekrause member

  January 2014

  Mine is very strong willed. First, we started time outs early and for unacceptable behavior- hitting, throwing food, etc, we put her in. Now, the threat of time out works about 75% of the time. In addition, I pick my battles but when I do, I stay strong. Sometimes, it takes her screaming bloody murder, lying on the floor, etc. I just let her have her fit, but I don't give in. This seems to help a lot because if I give in to everything because she cries, she would be a nightmare.

  They are tough at this age because you can't reason the same way you do with an older child. I personally found it got easier with age (with my first who is 5), because she understood reason and consequences way better.

   

  Hang in there- try to get as much support as you can. Also, sometimes they are just trying to get a reaction- even if it is you angry. So, as hard as it is, if you remain totally calm no matter what she does, that sometimes even works. Every kid is different but I would try a different approach for a few days and see what happens.

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• authorofdreamz member

  January 2014

  Sounds just like my DD! I recently read something and started doing it and it has helped a lot. Now when DD is throwing a fit the first thing I do is get down on her level and talk about her feelings (ie. I know your upset because you wanted cookies for dinner but that is not a healthy dinner. You need to eat your ____ instead because it will make you grow up healthy and strong). She usually calms down instantly and will *most* of the time do what she is supposed to. I think one of the hardest things for them at this age is not being able to convey their feelings. It has not only helped with her behavior but with the way I handle it since it forces me to be calm and focus on my child rather than getting crazed and frustrated.
  

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• veetveet member

  January 2014

  Ohhhh this sounds familiar.
  
  I find as they get older it gets easier and harder at the same time- easier because they can communicate better and harder because they can express their opinion.
  
  2ish was the age we started with timeouts. My daughter needed to know I meant business... and honestly- I don't want to lose my cool all the time.

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• ThatWasAHoot member

  January 2014

  DS just turned 3 and he turned into Satan about 3 weeks prior to this.  He started to just be a huge jerk to other kids.  He won't share, pushes kids over, takes toys, and is, in general, a huge a-hole to them. 
  Within the last week or so, he started also being a jerk to me and DW.  He doesn't listen to us.  We are constantly telling him things 3 or more times, then we have to raise our voices to get him to even listen.  [We're trying to remedy this with a system of warnings and time-out if he doesn't listen...I hate having to raise my voice.]  He also started to cry when he doesn't get what he wants immediately. 
  
  Note:  He is a complete angel to his teachers and friends at preschool.  But when he is home, he is no angel.  I have a daycare, so he's always interacted with children and done fine.  I guess it's good he is at least behaving outside of our family and home situation?
  

  Little Man 1.8.11
  Freshie Girl 9.29.12
  

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• sunnyday016 member

  January 2014

  Sounds a lot like my strong-willed boy! In our experience with DD, 2 was fine & dandy, and 3 was TERRIBLE. 4 has been better, and now that we're nearing 5 it's back to lot of tantrums & sass. Lovely. Each age brings it's own joys and challenges.

  S- March 09 E- Feb 12 L- May 15
  

  
  

  
  

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