Community› The Bump Message Boards› Multiples
Multiples
New Discussion

Divelopementally comparing has me freaked out.

marcellamitchellmarcellamitchell member
in Multiples
I've found myself comparing my did twin boys vision. They are three months tomorrow and Asher looks at me in the eyes and responds and smiles. While Leon doesn't connect with his eyes with anything. He smiles and coos at me when I play with him but I almost feel like he avoids contact with me. It has me so stressed and freaked out! I'm hoping he will soon. I feel like I wouldn't be worrying if I didn't have two to compare.
Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: Divelopementally comparing has me freaked out.

  • Wishing35Wishing35 member
    I felt this way as well, I've noticed though that when one accomplishes a new task the other usually does within a week. DD 1 for example was cooing and screeching like crazy and DD2 was silent. I started getting worried and boom a week later she is louder than her sister! Hard not to compare but give it time and try to remember they are each their own person and will develop at their own pace, GL!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • carrotcake06carrotcake06 member
    It's impossible not to compare. And not only do I compare them to each other, but also their big brother (which really isn't fair bc he wasn't a preemie).

    But as pp said, there's a wide range of normal. And I agree, that they switch being the first to achieve milestones.
    image

    image
    Report Reply
  • TheDairyQueenx3TheDairyQueenx3 member
    carrotcake06 said:

    It's impossible not to compare. And not only do I compare them to each other, but also their big brother (which really isn't fair bc he wasn't a preemie).

    But as pp said, there's a wide range of normal. And I agree, that they switch being the first to achieve milestones.

    This exactly. I'm in the same spot. Cayden looks at me smiles try's to pick his head up Colton on the other hand is not doing any of that yet but he does give smiles now! They are 1 week adjusted so it's hard not to compare to my older son and between the two.


    Together 6 wonderful years.
    TTC #1 18 months 1 loss DX unexplained IF-- BFP July 2009-- ITS A BOY
    TTC #2 3 years and 3 losses DX PCOS -- BFP April 2013-- TWIN BOYS!
    ~DS1-Feb 2010~ 
    ~DS2&3- Nov 2013  {7 weeks early}~ TTC #4~
    Report Reply
  • Stephanie2167Stephanie2167 member
    I literally could have written this post. Nicole looks at me and lifts her head up well. Harper avoids eye contact and isn't lifting her head as much as Nicole. They are just 5 weeks.


    Report Reply
  • groovygrlgroovygrl member
    edited January 2014
    my twins are 4 yrs old and this is a tough thing that will I assume go on pretty much forever...but I would really really encourage you to set your mind to not comparing them now, b/c the undue stress/worry is not worth it, no different than comparing them to the baby of a friend of yours born at the same time, etc. It is easier said than done but one will always do certain things first and they all genearlly move along in their own time. I had one that did all the gross motor things first, the other one did all the fine motor & verbal stuff first...one crawled at 8 months, walked at 11, the other crawled at 11 and walked within a month of crawling. One talked a ton, the other had limited words until just before 2 & then exploded one week.  The developing guidelines are just guidelines, not rules & one child is never the 'rule' on everything anyway. Remember that though you might be concerned about a 'delay' in one, it could be that the other is actually doing something on the early side, etc.  I just think the earlier you get the comparing thing out of your head (without obviously being extreme & blowing off a true problem, don't get me wrong), the less stressful it will be for all of you. GL!

    ETA sorry, I was not really thinking in terms of the age for eye contact...I would just call the pedi & ask at what point to worry or set up some vision testing for peace of mind, maybe they can get that done easily to help ease your worries...
    Report Reply
  • raraavis28raraavis28 member
    I agree w/ PPs that it's so hard to not compare. My guys tend to focus on different skills in a different order....I swear they do it on purpose to distinguish themselves, heheh. Like right now L has gotten very verbal (he's showing off the animal sounds he knows....like he'll pick up his toy sheep and say "baa baa" and "moo" for the cow etc) and N is walking all over the place, whereas L is still half crawling half walking (though he actually took his first steps first). As far as the eye contact goes, I would just keep watching your LO, with a mind toward overall normal as opposed to comparing to his brother. It could be that it's just a temperament difference. If you are concerned, you can always bring it up to your pedi. GL!
     image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"