NBR what to do?

stephcarter · January 2014

So DH has been a miserable jerk lately and definitely hasn't been pulling his weight. I worked from home today, took B to her docs appt, spent a ton of time getting house stuff together, spent an hour at the bank, took B to swim, made her dinner and worked some more. Ran out for Tylenol and milk and came home to a sink full of dishes, a messy living room, and he didn't even feed her the night snack. He took her up for bed and went to bed himself while I was doing dishes. Didnt say anything.

While eating my dinner a few mins ago (a Milky Way bar I got from CVS for free!) and cleaning up, I saw his keys on the floor next to the toy box. If he would've cleaned up (or out them somewhere safe or paid attention to B while I was gone), he would've found them.

Do I leave them there for him to search for? Or do I put them on the windowsill next to the door where he'll find them?

Choose for me ladies!!

Wally3 · January 2014

You put them on the windowsill. Then you need to have a talk about how you are feeling taken advantage of.

nealbl · January 2014

Yep be mature one put them on the window. Get a babysitter for the little one and tell DH you guys need to talk about him pulling his weight.

stephcarter · January 2014

@Wally3 we've had that talk a few times. Isn't working. I've even told him that if I'm going to keep working from home with her here he needs to take over when he gets home. He says ok, but then is moody when he has to.

stephcarter · January 2014

He used to be a huge help. I don't know what the hell happened. I get that he's tired. But so am I. My days are non stop. Working from home with a kid is so hard but I'm willing to do it if he's willing to help me.

Wally3 · January 2014

You may need to discuss having a babysitter or mothers helper come and watch lo so you are able to get work done or house work if you are working at home. Not full time but enough to give you a little break.

stephcarter · January 2014

BrooketheCat said:
Is it wrong that my completely childish side responded first, with duck him, let him find his own damn keys?

I'd by lying if I said I wasn't happy at least one person felt the same way I did. Even if only for a moment!!

nealbl · January 2014

Don't get me wrong it would be my first thought if I were you, but I would still end up with putting them where he can find them. I would probably mention it to him though! I like to get credit when I do nice things

A simple "oh honey I found your eys on the floor and I was afraid you wouldn't be able to find them in the morning so I put them on the window for you!"

Ziegeficker · January 2014

How shitty, I am sorry you're dealing with that. I agree with PPs about putting them on the windowsill -- Whenever I indulge my not-so-nice side in a similar situation with DH, he just gets frustrated trying to find whatever it is he lost and takes it out on me.

stephcarter · January 2014

I put them on the windowsill. Tonight I'll attempt to talk to him again.

lady dixneuf · January 2014

I'd leave them there so he understands the consequnces for his own actions.

chricast · January 2014

Hey @StephCarter I agree with the other girls in that I totally would want to leave them and say screw him but would put them on the windowsill so he wouldn't take his frustration out on me. You definitely need to talk because with the house renovations coming up I'm sure it is going to get much more stressful for both of you. I'm assuming he will be working full time and then going to work on the new house on nights and weekends? You will really need help with Bailey then, maybe the new dcp can take B even when you are home? I'm thinking having a mothers helper or someone else watching B at the house may not work out because if B knows your home she may just want you around anyway. That's how Emma would be. I can't imagine trying to get work done with Emma around so I know you are super woman! Your DH definitely needs to pull his weight before the house reno starts.

stephcarter · January 2014

@chricast I have a feeling that once closing hits, I'll be on my own 100%. Sending her to the new dcp when I'm home is a good idea because I think I'll have a complete meltdown if I don't. He's taking two weeks off work to work on the house and make it livable. Since he'll be out that way, he'll be able to at least drop her off for me. Good thinking.

StefanieM522 · January 2014

@Stephcarter Just wanted to put my two cents in as well about possibly sending B to daycare while you are working at home during the remodel. I had to take complete 100% care of Wesley while my H was recovering from his mental breakdown from his mother's suicide, and it helped me a ton to be able to send Wesley to daycare full time while I worked, It was nice to have a little break when all his care was on me and I knew he was being taken care of as well. I also had a day off or so where I would send Wesley to daycare and then stay home and clean and get laundry done. I'm not sure if its the same for you, but for my daycare it was only an extra $20 to send him full time for 5 days versus 3 full days and to me and my sanity that extra $20 a week was worth it. Good luck with the remodel on the new house and I hope that your husband starts helping you more.

stephcarter · January 2014

@StefanieM522 our dcp charges $40 for each full day that she's there whether it's 1 day a week or 5. She also will only charge $20 for a half day. I think you guys are definitely onto something. Even if i kept her home for breakfast and first nap then sent her it would make things so much easier.

stephcarter · January 2014

he said he was sorry.

chricast · January 2014

Hope things get better @stephcarter.

stephcarter · January 2014

Thanks @chricast. He seems to be less moody today.

First he said, "I'm sorry if I was mean" I wasn't accepting that "if" Hahahaha

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