Considering having a baby via gestational surrogacy. I am clueless and need guidance. Thank you!

dearleslie · January 2014

Hi Ladies,

So my husband and I have decided we'd like to try gestational surrogacy in order to have a baby. After a few miscarriages and tests, this seems like the best thing to do at this point - and my age now. I don't have a problem getting pregnant. The problem is carrying to term. Evidently my body does not process folic acid properly and my doc believes this is why I keep miscarrying - poor fetal development. Anyway, my brother's girlfriend (who has 2 healthy children of her own) has offered to serve as a gestational surrogate for us. I don't even know where to begin, so I am turning to this board. I need any information at all. The state we are hoping to do this in is VT. We live in FL, but my parents are in VT and this is where our surrogate has said she would be most comfortable for the surrogacy period. I am so grateful for whatever information or advice you can give. Thank You!

Mama-Bear · January 2014

You need to research the laws in the state your baby would be born. Check out her medical insurance, it can be used once she's released to her OB if there's no surrogacy exclusion (and you'll need to have a lawyer look over her booklet). Contact lawyers to see how much the contract and parentage will cost (YOU BOTH NEED YOUR OWN LAWYERS, PLEASE DON'T SKIMP ON THIS). Find out her annual insurance coverage so you know how much you should expect to pay for her medical bills. You'll need to have her get her previous pg and delivery records so your RE can look over them and make sure that she's a good candidate (and she'll probably need to be seen by him to get clearance). Everyone will probably need to speak to a therapist that has experience with TPR so you can get your psych clearance.

I would check out 2 message boards: surromomsonline.com and allaboutsurrogacy.com

Good luck on your new road to motherhood.

lincoln79 · January 2014

all of what mama-bear said!

we are in the process of using a GC for the first time. blogs on surrogacy helped a TON. please feel free to ask whatever questions that come up for you along the way! i am sorry for your losses and hope that this is your path to your take home baby.

liz4paws · January 2014

I don't have a lot of information about gestational carriers, but I was curious (if you don't mind me asking) about your diagnosis with folic acid issues. Is it MTHFR by chance?

dearleslie · January 2014

Thank you so much for the info! I will get started today and will certainly post here again as I have more questions. Liz4paws, I don't remember the doc calling it MTHFR specifically, but I just read about it and it certainly sounds like this is the case. I am on a prescription folic acid supplement and also adding lots of folate rich foods to my diet.

liz4paws · January 2014

dearleslie said:

Thank you so much for the info! I will get started today and will certainly post here again as I have more questions. Liz4paws, I don't remember the doc calling it MTHFR specifically, but I just read about it and it certainly sounds like this is the case. I am on a prescription folic acid supplement and also adding lots of folate rich foods to my diet.

I obviously don't know your medical history, but MTHFR can be fairly easy to treat and carry a pregnancy to term with the right medication. Not only is a high dose of folic acid (like Folgard) recommended, but many times baby aspirin as well. I just wanted to throw this out there in case you were still considering carrying. There are many REs who are familiar with MTHFR who may be able to guide you if this is an option you still wish to pursue. Might be worth a second opinion, but again, I have no idea of the details and only you know what is right for you.

No matter what you decide, I wish you the best of luck. None of this process is easy!

KateBee · January 2014

Some of the best information for me has been from Surromomsonline.com and allaboutsurrogacy.com. We're currently expecting via gestational surrogacy, and it's hard to wrap your head around everything! Feel free to message me if you have any questions.

DoulaRaVenMa · January 2014

Just wanted to wish you the best of luck!!!

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Considering having a baby via gestational surrogacy. I am clueless and need guidance. Thank you!

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