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Parenting after a Loss
feeling guilty about SAHM???
I know I've been going on and on about this for days now. But has anyone ever felt this way? I tried talking with DH about it but in his mind the decision is made so why keep re-visiting.
Here's the background. I've been teaching K and 1st grade for 10 years.I am on a 1-year leave of absence and have to make my decision about next year by Jan 15. Love my job. Love my school. Love my co-workers. Love my paycheck etc. etc.?
But I don't miss it one bit. I LOVE LOVE LOVE staying home with DD.?
DH and I have spent a lot of time looking at our budget and we think we can make it work if I do something part-time in the evenings or weekends -- either tutoring or waitressing or both. I basically need to make a few hundred dollars a week. I THINK I can do it but I really don't know for sure. What if I don't find any clients??? What if I don't find a waitressing job?
I feel guilty about putting the whole burden on DH to bring home the bacon. And I feel pressured to help him. And stressed that I'm not sure I can. I feel like I am being "lazy" by not going back to work full-time. I know it's not really true but I can't shake this guilty feeling of leaving behind a very good, very stable career. I ?know so many women work full-time and have families (many of my friends) and I feel like I am taking the easy way out by not going that route.
blah blah blah...sorry for babbling. I don't know what to do with all of this anxiety.?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: feeling guilty about SAHM???
I left my job in December of 2005 shortly after I went back to work from my maternity leave with Joey. DH and I agreed all along that when we had children I would stay home with them. It was very hard for me to leave my job. I was an Accounting Officer for a large bank. I loved what I did and I liked my coworkers. The pay was good and the benefits were awesome.
I have never regretted my decision. I love being home with my children. They grow up so fast-Joey's in preschool already! I found a part-time job and I go into the office about once a month and I do 95% of the work from home. Don't feel like you're being lazy. You'll find a part-time job and you will have plenty of things to do at home. You can also join playgroups, have playdates, etc. Good luck
I wouldn't feel guilty about staying at home. Hell, I'd do it if I could.
That said, I don't know if it would be worth it to me to give up a good full-time job for a not so good part-time one. If your benefits and such are through your husband, then it's probably not as big a deal to you.
ditto Caymanbride. Being a teacher is great if you are a mama. DD could go to your school! You'd have summers and vacations off together. And be home early every day.
If you're going to be a working mama, I don't think there is a better profession than teaching. If you aren't going to work, that's totally cool too.
I agree with pp's about teaching being a good job for someone with kids.
I'm a nurse working 3-11 shift (by choice - DH gets home at 2:30 on the days I work so we don't have to send DD to daycare). I have to work every other holiday, every third weekend (12 hour shifts). It's great that I get to be home with Sophia until 2:30 the days I do work.
Anyway, unless you are 100% sure you want to stay home, then I would try going back to work for a year.
It must be a very hard decision. Good luck!
I know what you mean it is hard to know that you are not contributing to the household income at all. On the other hand, being a stay at home mom all day long every dayis the hardest job I have ever had. Dh has done it for a few hours here and there and he agrees 100%.
You will be surprised where you can cut corners to save money. We thought we were going to have to be super strict w/the budget when I stopped working and we are to an extent but believe it or not we are saving money in so many other areas it helps. We switched to satellite and we are saving tons of money and we still get all the channels we actually watch and aren't getting the ones we never watched. We dropped our cell phone plan since I am staying home and I am not in the car that much now. Our Starbucks bill has dropped dramatically as well as our lunch bills bc with me eating at home and now I make dh's lunch each morning and we eat breakfast together here. All that really adds up. Also factor in gas since you won't be traveling as much.
Good luck w/your decision.
Kerri
I agree w/ncsubride... maybe see if there's "hidden income" like selling things you aren't using. Or, could you watch someone else's child while you're home w/your LO? I'm a speech therapist & to be honest, if I wasn't so close to finishing my MS, I would never want to go back to work. In fact, I have clinical coursework starting in September, so I was going to have to put DD in daycare anyway, but now we're thinking only part-time work plus grad school will work best for us. I don't want her w/strangers any more than necessary.
I understand your guilt, but if you can swing it I think staying home is the absolute best thing. GL!