December 2012 Moms

Starting Daycare - Miserable

My little boy (just over 1 year old) has started daycare for the first time this week (3 days per week M/W/F) and he seems miserable. My work schedule has changed from 3 days per week to 6 long days (accountant; tax season), hence beginning daycare. He's soo very much more clingy and fussy than ever before. My husband does drop off and pick off. He says both Wed. & today, DS has started wailing the moment they entered the center.

We've tried to be gradual about it...He was only there 4 hours on Mon.; 6 on Wed.  and today my husband is going to call & if DS is having a rough day after 4 or 6 hours pick him up early (OTOH is he's doing well, he'll stay all day).

I don't really know how he is during the day. The paper sheet they gave us had both "happy" and "fussy" marked on Mon. & "happy" on Wednesday, but the caretakers told my husband that he was fussy & wanted to be held all day on Wednesday.

Does this get better? I hate him being so unhappy.

 

Re: Starting Daycare - Miserable

  • When we had to take Morgan to an outside daycare, she used to have my sister come to my house and watch her, she was miserable for about a week or two.  I would pick her up and she would cling to me!  My husband would drop her off and she would cry for about an hour.  It broke my heart!

    Now she doesn't want to leave!  So it gets better, it really does!  Your DS is out of his routine and once he gets back into one that includes the daycare he should be fine. 

    Stay strong momma!!  Extra hugs and kisses at night to your DS!

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  • It definitely does get better. They are at an age now where they are much more aware, which makes it even harder. But, I think it's harder on the parents than on the kids. Hopefully after another week or so, you'll have better days and also getting a routine down will help all of you. If you haven't already tried this, maybe send a toy or blanket from home w/him next time. Sometimes having familiar items will help. Hang in there, you're doing great! 
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  • JessAnnJJessAnnJ member
    edited January 2014
    The older they are when they start I think the harder it is initially. You can always tell the new kid to the room because that is the kid that is crying. I picked my daughter up yesterday right as the teacher was telling them it was circle time and DD smiled at me and then walked over to the mat and sat down with the rest of the kids for circle time. She definitely enjoys it there. It will just take your LO some time to get used to the new place and new routine.

    Edit to add - our daycare pretty much never checks fussy or anything negative. I think they do not want us to feel bad. I would ask if you want to know and they'll give you a more accurate description.

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  • I’m an auditor in public, so I feel your pain.  I was out for busy season last year, so this will be my first one with our daughter. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

    The first bit of time at daycare was horrible (like, I cried), and there are days occasionally even now when she doesn’t feel well and is clingy because she wants mom/dad comfort.  BUT, for the most part, we get there in the morning and she’ll walk off to see her friends without giving me a hug or a second though.   She’s always happy to see us at the end of the day, but is getting old enough that she’ll sometimes smile at us and then keep playing instead.

    My coworkers gave me a few tips that actually helped a lot.  I think that at the beginning, our DD just didn’t know what to expect and that that made her more upset/anxious than actually being at daycare.  A routine for the day helps a lot.  We normally get up, get dressed, have breakfast, get in the car, arrive at daycare, take off her coat, give her a hug, hand her to her teacher, and then walk out.  At the end of the day, hug for DD/get the daycare update, put on coat, get in car, go home, have dinner, play, have bottle/rock to sleep.  Repeat.  Also, keeping the drop off routine short seems to help.  My SIL would get a sitter when her DS was little, and would drag out leaving and get DS all upset in the process.  Like, he’d want to go with them, so she’d try telling him no, then he’d cry, and she’d want to stay “just a little longer,” and then once he calmed down, they’d try to leave again and it would start all over.  Funny thing because as soon as they actually left and the sitter could distract him, he was fine. 

    Anyway, good luck mama.  And less than 100 days until 4/15. :)

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  • if she is fussy unless being held, can see how both would get identified. My LO started offical day care at 8 months & still has those days from time to time. Heck, she has those days at home with us as well. She is perfectly content, as long as someone is holding her. If I were to show up though, she remembers she isn't already in my arms & it becomes the end of the world full of tears.
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