Back for a third time

LiaMadi1 · January 2014

After two previously failed pregnancies I really thought this was going to be the "one" for me. There were no red flags, no bleeding, no cramping, no cause for concern. Well, after an inconclusive u/s with my OB on Wednesday I had another u/s yesterday which confirmed no cardiac activity and a little one measuring about 6 weeks when I should have been 10 yesterday.

This is the third time for me in about a year. The first miscarriage was naturally processed and was probably the hardest emotionally because it was the first. The second miscarriage was eventually processed with an emergency DnC after it did not pass naturally and two rounds of miso did not completely expel everything. As for this miscarriage, I'm going to meet with my OB this afternoon to discuss my options. Part of me just wants to do the DnC again to get it over with because I've already done it and it was honestly not that bad. The miso pill experience was the worst of everything for me because it was just so painful and the bleeding and just not knowing if it really did the trick (it didn't which was devastating).

I will probably be switched over to a high risk OB after this third loss because now I'm considered a RLP (recurrent loss patient) and I really want to know if my losses are due to my abnormal uterus or if there is something that can be done to prevent this in the future. I'm pretty much just exhausted, emotionally and physically, from these losses and while I know being a mother is something I truly want I just hope that it is in the cards for me and my husband.

Crisdima · January 2014

I am so sorry you are going through this again. I don't think it is ever easy. I hope the high risk drs can give you more answers, even though they might be scary. I'm sure a healthy pregnancy is in the future for you and your husband even though I'm sure it's difficult to think that right now. Sending hugs your way

this+gamer+chick · January 2014

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's only my first m/c and I'm already devastated and incredibly lost, and I know any subsequent pregnancy will be terrifying. Like you, I had no bleeding or signs, and my baby stopped developing at almost 12 weeks (I found out at 13 weeks during an ultrasound). As far as miso vs D&C that is really a personal choice. I know I couldn't stand the waiting, and I was recommended for the D&C because of the late loss. We had seen the tiniest flicker on the monitor, but no more heartbeat. My doctor explained that for all intents and purposes, it was not alive. I had the D&C the next morning, but was up most of the night knowing the baby I loved and was excited about was essentially slowly dying inside me. I can't imagine waiting for a natural m/c, but I guess if your doctor thinks that is best, it's something to consider.

Sorry to talk about myself so much. Know that there are a lot of people feeling your pain and here for you. I can't tell you that the next time will be okay. I can't guarantee that for you, for me, or for anyone else. My heart breaks with you. I hope you can heal and go on to have a healthy, full term pregnancy.

katib77 · January 2014

I am so sorry for your losses. Aside from high risk OB, have you considered an RE (reproductive endocrinologist). It's the doctors that deal mainly with infertility. Three losses for couples is usually the threshold before insurance will cover it (if you have that coverage and don't already have signs of fertility issues) but they help RL ladies all the time. Have you had repeat loss panel (blood work) done? Or genetic testing on any of your losses? Whom ever you see - I hope they are able to figure out what to do to help you get your forever child. Big (((hugs)))

LiaMadi1 · January 2014

katib77 said:

I am so sorry for your losses. Aside from high risk OB, have you considered an RE (reproductive endocrinologist). It's the doctors that deal mainly with infertility. Three losses for couples is usually the threshold before insurance will cover it (if you have that coverage and don't already have signs of fertility issues) but they help RL ladies all the time. Have you had repeat loss panel (blood work) done? Or genetic testing on any of your losses? Whom ever you see - I hope they are able to figure out what to do to help you get your forever child. Big (((hugs)))

After meeting with my OB today we scheduled to meet with both a high risk OB and an infertility specialist in February after my DnC next week. I'm thankful she encouraged a DnC because my body did not respond well to the miso last time. I was also diagnosed with something called APS (antiphospholipid syndrome) or "sticky blood" which makes it difficult to get the blood to the baby growing. While she didn't get preventative treatments yet, a possible treatment for APS is taking blood thinners which I have heard many ladies on TB have taken.

While this is a traumatic event, for the third time, I am thankful to start getting some answers to the question as to why this keeps happening. And I'm also thankful for the support from the site.

flgrl521 · January 2014

@liamadi1 I was diagnosed with the same antibodies but not enough to have the full blown syndrome. Even though it was "borderline" my RE and hematologist recommended I take baby aspirin and daily levonox shots with my last pregnancy. It can definitely cause miscarriages so it's good you found out. Unfortunately I still lost the baby but I think it was chromosomal. Still waiting for the D&C results. Best of luck.

IfMamaAintHappy · January 2014

I don't have any advice or insight to your specific situation, but wanted to say I'm so sorry for your losses. It sounds like you will be heading in a better direction now to get some answers. T&P.

aezimmerman · January 2014

I am very sorry for this loss and the previous ones as well. Honestly, I think you questions regarding why this keeps happening and the abnormal uterus issue should be directed toward your health care professional. They know the research and your medical history. I will tell you that an acquaintance of mine in graduate school had repeated miscarriages and sought out a specialist who provided more answers than you ob/gyn. Perhaps that is something to consider...

BkBaby118 · January 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses. I hope your doctors are able to help provide some insight. I had 2 miscarriages in the last several months, and my OB wants me to get a thrombophilia work-up, just in case, and supplement my progesterone if there will be a 3rd pregnancy.

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