Vent.. Long

clhathaway · January 2014

So sadly this is all true and I wish it were all just a made up nightmare. Sorry for the book in advance.

I have a 25yr old sister who has a 4yr old son. Sister is a drug addict(anything she can get her hands on, but meth, weed, and alcohol are drugs of choice.) she has been in rehab twice in two years, dragging her son with. Since her last stint in "recovery" she has once again went back. This time she's way worse doing things she never has. She buys food that her son can open and make himself so he doesn't bother her, buys clothes way too big so she doesn't have to spend money on them for another year, gives him electronics so he will stay in his bedroom. Has a chain on her apt door so she can sleep without him leaving. He was molested by one of her male friends and she still hangs around him. Forces him to go to his dads even though he comes home with unexplainable bruises and cuts(he beat my sister while she was pregnant.)

Come to find out she's been doing her drugs around him. You can see the pain in his eyes. It absolutely breaks my heart. My DF and I want to take him in so bad but that would be very tough finacially. He also has a lot of behavioral issues that need to be worked on(he threw a shoe at lo today because she was crying.) I've been crying for over an hour because I know he's crying for help and I want to save him but I have no idea how we could afford it and if he hurt lo I'd feel like I put her in harms way. I'm just so torn. I'm not really looking for advice. Just needed to get it out. I hope nobody out there has dealt with this to even be able to offer advice. Sorry it is so long.

Caitlinh27 · January 2014

I'm sorry your family is having to deal with this. Big hugs!

Lyzza350 · January 2014

Call child protective!! Call now. Of he's removed and you take him in as a foster kid they will pay for him. You cannot let this continue. If you do you are culpable in severe forms of child abuse.

74dragonfly · January 2014

Lyzza350 said:
Call child protective!! Call now. Of he's removed and you take him in as a foster kid they will pay for him. You cannot let this continue. If you do you are culpable in severe forms of child abuse.

This. He needs somEone to stand up for him.

FutureMrsCaesar · January 2014

I agree. You really should try to take him in or have someone else do it. Leaving him in that situation is definitely not an option. No child should be subjected to all that. Do you have any other family members that might be able to pitch in financially if you do take him in?
I'm no child behavior specialist, just going on my own experiences, but I bet once he is shown some love and positive attention and some rules and boundaries his behavior will improve. Poor guy has really been through alot I'm his 4 young years

KelseyKetchum · January 2014

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Thoughts and prayers your way.

clhathaway · January 2014

Soozerella said:
You definitely need to call cps. Even if you couldn't afford him just leaving him there is letting it continue.

She already had CPS involved. She's on the abuse registery from an incident a year ago. They can't catch her with drugs in her system. She's managed to jump thru all their hoops. Her counselor in her half way place she's at called her in yesterday because she had a dirty ua there. Hopefully that does something. I'm the only one that can do anything. My mom is addicted to her prescription pills and we pay her bills half the time. It's just us three no other family. My sister thinks I'm rich because I know how to budget and save for the things I want. I have single handly paid to send her to rehab, paid for all her moving costs, filled her kitchen with food, etc. She's talked about signing custody over but when push comes to shove it doesn't happen.

And this probably isn't relevant but I'm 19. I've been forking over the dough for the mistakes made by her and my mom since I was 16. I had enough then, and taking my nephew gives me the opportunity to just cut ties with it all. Typing this all out really just makes me realize I got a crap hand when it comes to family.

clhathaway · January 2014

FutureMrsCaesar said:
I agree. You really should try to take him in or have someone else do it. Leaving him in that situation is definitely not an option. No child should be subjected to all that. Do you have any other family members that might be able to pitch in financially if you do take him in?
I'm no child behavior specialist, just going on my own experiences, but I bet once he is shown some love and positive attention and some rules and boundaries his behavior will improve. Poor guy has really been through alot I'm his 4 young years

My DF and I are the only ones he listens too. He has been diagnosed with a severe case of ADHD. Nobody knows how to handle him so that's another reason she'll just put movies on because she claims it's easier than dealing with him. He's a very loving child when he is in the right situation. He just doesn't know how to take positive attention because he never recieves it.

Eta; I've done a lot of research on ADHD and that's why he listens at my house because I've taken time to understand what goes on in his little head. Granted there are a lot more problems piling up on it now.

notthecheat · January 2014

This story breaks my heart. I am so sorry you (and especially your nephew) are dealing with this. Ts and Ps for your nephew and that there is something effective you can do to get him out and get him the loving family he deserves. I wish I knew how to help. I am holding my LO tight and thanking my lucky stars for the loving family I have. Lots of love and hugs to you.

BoothBaby · January 2014

I am so sorry that you are in this s situation... definitely a crap hand all around. My thoughts are with you and your nephew, and I hope you can find a way to help, even if you can't take him yourself.

Lyzza350 · January 2014

You being 19 is relevant. I think you sound like an amazingly resilient person. However, the appropriate thing to do now is call her case worker and report what's happening currently. Call every few weeks if you have to. That will arm child protective with the most current information. I'm sorry this is happening to your fam, but be proud that even though you are so young you are so resilient.

lilypienmessimy · January 2014

I agree with all PP that you need to call CPS. He cannot be left in that situation. You are amazing for being 19 and helping out your family the way you have, but the best way to help your family now is to get your nephew away from your sister, even if it isn't with you.

clhathaway · January 2014

Cashingn2 said:
You need to take action to get him out of there. I cannot tell you how traumatic seeing the piece of shit that molested him is for him. That coupled with the drugs and abuse. The state will help you financially. Please, please take him out of that situation. I'm trying not to cry for him and you.

I agree. I'd like to punch his mom in the throat for this. He came out and told her this guy touched him and she keeps letting him come back.

Eta: he also told his counselor this, his mom told the lady it's impossible they were never alone together. Which is a big fat lie because that guy watched him while she was at work a few times.

Aycul18 · January 2014

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know first hand how badly drug addictions effect families, and I wouldn't wish anyone to be in that situation, not even my worst enemies. I always say it's worse for the people around the addict than that person themselves...

What's even worse is that this little helpless boy is caught in the middle.... Get him out of there. Please.... Sounds like you are an amazing person and obviously know how to budget and etc, so make it work. Please find a way. You are the only one that can stand up for him!!!

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