Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
LeoLauren
member
Re: Beta #'s mean nothing...it's 3 under 2. OMG!!
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
Failed multiple cycles of Clomid+TI and Clomid+IUI
3/2011 inj+IUI #1 BFP. 4/2011 missed m/c.
Fall 2011 inj+IUI #2&3 BFN
Jan/Feb 2012 IVF#1 BFP 2/23 EDD 10/31/2012 ~~~ Halloween ~~~
Our IVF miracle, Baby Boy M, arrived on 11/8/2012!
IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
beta #2 11/28 = 2055
Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
TTC since 2005
missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
3 failed femara iui cycles-
moving on to IVF oct 2011
ER nov. 7th
tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
lots of +hpt!!
beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
another miscarriage 12/23
moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
ET 4/28 3 transfered
Beta #1- 356
Beta #2- 870
Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!!
Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone)
Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
Jan 2013 BFP
Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
Miracle Born August 2013 Premature
Yours doesn't have to be a sad story
Congratulations!
Clomid for 6 cycles starting August 2010- O but no BFP
SA Septemeber 2010 Looking good
HSG September 2010 All clear
1st RE visit May 2011 - IUI#1 June 20, 2011: BFN
IUI #2 July 31 2011: BFP - m/c @ 5w1d
Surprise BFP on a break cycle 10/4/11, Due June 4, 2012, Born 6/9/2012
TTC Blog
TTC#2 : Cycles 1-3 Protocol 1500mg Metformin Daily, Femara + Ovidrel, Progresterone support
Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY! Aiden was born 08/20/2013.
IVF #2 is in progress. ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI. ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived. We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14. 1st beta - 111. 2nd beta - 159 didn't double
3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic. Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome? 06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope! 06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally! 06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great 
EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
___________________________________________________________________________
Trying for #1 since May 2010 l DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011
IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks
November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!
Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26
1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12
**TEAM GREEN!**
Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12
Trying for #2
FET #1 - October '13 - c/p l FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled
l FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN
~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~
Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14
**TEAM GREEN!**
Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14
Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
Prayers for our take home babies!
2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!
Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
Dec 27- third miscarriage
May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
I only have 2 under 2 right now, but DS1 turned 2 a week before my now 8 month old twins were born. I won't lie, it was really hard for DS1 in the beginning. He was very jealous, and at an awkward age where he sort of understood what was going on, but not enough to really grasp the concept completely. He had never been in daycare and was very attached to me. I think he was also really overwhelmed by the fact that there were two new babies in the house.
But things have gotten better! DS1 has become much more independent and confident, and is starting to interact with the twins more every day, and the tender moments between the three of them melt my heart. I am so excited for the life they will all have together.
Life at our house is hectic 99% of the time, but it is also full of love :-) DH and I are always busy, and one of the kids always needs something. But we get through it and so will you! Congratulations!
DX: DOR and MFI
IVF w/ICSI brought us our 1st precious miracle
V born via induction 4.29.11
TTC #2: IVF (MDLF) August/September 2012
ER 9/7: 6R, 5M, 4F ET 9/12: 5dt of 2 blasts
+HPT 9/17! Beta #1 (9/25) = 1,000 Beta #2 (9/27) = 1,860 U/S #1 (10/11)...TWINS!
1/8/13 - It's a..boy and a girl!!
S&B born via induction 5.8.13
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP
TTC #2
12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!!
After 4 years, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs our surprise miracle is here!
My Blog
TTC # 2 BFP 03/02/13 = CP, BFP 05/14/13 = CP, BFP 08/09/13 = CP
RPL testing = normal
TI Cycle #1, 50 clomid days 3-7, 150 iu Follistim days 8-11 = BFP! EDD May 22, 2014
Betas: 13 DPO = 79, 15 DPO = 149, 19 DPO = 788, 22 DPO = 2031
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
@LeoLauren - Honestly, I thought it was going to be a disaster, but it have been pleasantly surprised. Our DS has been adjusting to everything way better than I anticipated and since K&A are numbers two and three we already kind of have an idea about how to take are of a baby (or babies). It is a ton of work, but it has also been a ton of fun.
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
I'm at Cornell. Love them!
Nov '10: IVF#1: BFP! Girl. Missed m/c at 14 weeks. Devastated
Apr '11: IVF#2: BFP! Twin Girls born on Dec 3, 2011 at 31w5d! One month in NICU.
Oct '13: IVF#3: BFP! Girl born Jun 19, 2014 at 38w3d!