Should you offer to be her surrogate?

Mama-Bear · January 2014

*I can't say if the opinion in the article is correct as I've never undergone extensive IF treatments (only 1 cycle of Clomid), maybe someone here that didn't know from the start that she'd be down the path of TPR can give some insight.

This article lists offering to be a surrogate for a friend before they've expressed interest in surrogacy as one of the 12 things NOT to say to a woman going through IF treatments (it's slide 8 of 13).

LINK

I know this question comes up quite often on this board. I'd love too hear someone's opinion on if this article is correct or if it's just the opinion of the writer.

walker14 · January 2014

Hmm...I think I disagree with this one. We're beginning to look into GCs and I would be thrilled if I knew of someone who had offered before we were going down this road. That said, no one said it to me when we were still in the trying/IVF part of our journey, so I can't say for sure. To me it seems like it's putting another option on the table for the infertile couple.

I totally agree with some of these other slides though- namely the "you just need to relax" and "have you thought about adoption?" comments.

Mrs.McIrish · January 2014

I think the issue is that non -IFers don't understand how many different diagnoses there are with infertility. A surrogate would not help me as my eggs are bad. I need a donor but as far as we know my uterus is fine. Plus it is a big loss to not be able to carry the baby and for someone who isn't at the stage where they want to explore using a carrier, having someone offer may not be warmly welcomed.

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