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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
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bothered by dc worker's comment

rmrmrmrm member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
my son will be 15 months next week. just in the last week or two he's started throwing tantrums, not wanting to eat his normal foods . . .just being very strong willed. If I remember correctly, that's about when it happened with my first son too. So anyways, when my husband picked him up at dc today, he asked his teacher if they had been noticing any of it. The teacher said something to the effect of "No not really, but we have noticed an attitude change. He pushed another little boy down."

Um, ok. He's only there 2 days a week, so to me that seems like kind of a judgmental statement--especially for a 15 month old (who has a 3 year old brother who is often playing a little too rough with him.) I feel like she's making him out to be a bully. I've been thinking about it all night.

I know I should probably just leave it alone--especially since my husband initiated the conversation (though that really wasn't what he was asking) but i'm so tempted to say something to either the teacher or one of the women up front. Would you be bothered by this? And this is fairly normal behavior for a 15 month, old isn't it? I just don't feel like him pushing a little boy down qualifies as an attitude change--when he goes 2 days a week and the school was closed for the past 2 weeks for the holidays. 


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Re: bothered by dc worker's comment

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  • rmrmrmrm member
    you might be right. it just kinda bothered me that she said that. this is only the second time he's been there in several weeks and it just seemed like an oddly sweeping statement. I guess I'll just let it go.
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  • g8trkimg8trkim member
    Holy overreaction on your part! You're going to have to learn how to deal when your child does things that aren't ideal. It won't be the last time. Your H asked and she answered. I think she was being perfectly nice. She was in no way being judgmental or suggesting he was a bully and I find it unfair on your part to even assume this was her intention.




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  • jnnfrrose6jnnfrrose6 member
    Agree with PPs.  You said yourself your son has become more strong willed recently.  Your husband asked DC if they had noticed anything.  She simply answered that yes, his attitude does seem to have changed and an example of that change was him pushing down another little boy.  Nothing in that statement implies bullying (a phrase that is way too overused these days to begin with and can you even really use that on a 15 month old).  

    Also, I'd want to know if my DS was doing anything like that.  Of course, there isn't much I can do when at home to reprimand, but I'd want to be aware of behavior like that.  My DS bit one of his classmates about a month ago and they definitely let us know.  Sure, I didn't like the idea that my kid is the biter, but they were also understanding.  At this age, they are becoming more aware of themselves as an individual, yet they still can't fully communicate their needs.  They get frustrated and have to let the energy out somehow.  We just worked with them to help correct this behavior and we haven't had any issues since.  
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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    Yikes are you ever overreacting.  Your son pushed a boy.  That's a fact.  If he doesn't usually act that way, that's a change.  Fact.  You're reading judgement into something that isn't there.  Please don't be one of those mothers who refuses to acknowledge that their kid is imperfect, just like all our kids.  It benefits no one.
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  • emberlee3emberlee3 member
    Agree that you're over-reacting. Nobody called your kid a bully. She was just answering the question.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
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  • eyenigheyenigh member
    I don't even see how that could possibly be viewed in any way but a relevant response. She answered a question that really kind of reaffirmed (in a different way) what you'd also been experiencing at home. I totally get that it wasn't the answer that you wanted to hear but it's better to get an honest answer to have a clear, holistic view of your son's behavior.
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  • KatFCoKatFCo member
    How is that judgmental? You have noticed changes in his behavior. Your husband asked about his behavior at daycare and the daycare worker confirmed your own observations. A daycare worker who tells parents about their child's aggressive behavior is a good daycare worker.
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  • jobiannjobiann member
    I would want to know if my son pushed, hit or bit another child or worker. Just saying, I think you are being a tad sensitive. Remember, she works with kiddos all day, she could have just been really tired and a little attitude came off. 

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  • BeachBabe22BeachBabe22 member
    I think it's normal for kids to push other kids around at this age.  I'm not sure I would have used the phrase attitude change unless there is more going on.  I wouldn't say anything to his teacher or anyone else because I don't think it's that big of an issue but I'm sure I would be a little upset if someone said it about my daughter. 
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