I love baby leggings! The ones that look like giant socks that go all the way up the baby's legs. I also use cloth diapers so that may be why I think they are adorable. I can't really see them looking all that great with disposable diapers, but I could be wrong.
To be the devils advocate so to speak... 1. Some people go through real life difficulties together before they get married (loss of family members, over coming obstacles etc.). For some people counseling isn't really necessary. That being said, I do agree that marriage is taken way too lightly these days.
2. As for parenting classes, the same rule applies. Some people practically raised their siblings or worked in an area where they already learned all that a parenting class would tell them. I would be furious if someone required me to pay for a class that didn't teach me anything.
Re: parenting classes. I think I'm probably ok without parenting classes for Lexie (that's what TB is for, right?), but I think I could use some for parenting my husband.
I got back last night from being stuck in Indiana at my parents house and H has had 2 weeks baby-free in our house (it was only supposed to be 8 days- thanks Polar Vortex whatever!) and the house is so filthy I could have murdered him in his sleep and the mess would have just blended in.
Hmm... After my experiences over the holidays, I'm going to say new grandparents need to take the parenting classes. So much bad, outdated advice heaped on me lately!
On the marriage note I hate how the Kardashians and a lot of celebrities/public figures are treating marriage. They use it as publicity stunts and don't seem to be upset if they get divorced. Yet, my gay best friend can't marry his long time partner in our state because hardcore conservatives say that allowing two people of the same sex to get married will ruin the sanctity of marriage. I've will have been married for 5 years on Friday and the only time I've felt the sanctity of marriage was ruined was when any stupid celebrity got married and divorced within those 5 years and it was the biggest thing on my newsfeed. I've felt nothing but joy being able to witness some dear same sex friends legally get married back in my home state of NY.
I hate baby jeans! Who the hell wants to sleep in jeans?!?! My MIL bought DS a pair when he was a newborn, he NEVER wore them, they were the stiffest most uncomfortable looking things in the world! DS has a pair of fake jeans, they are cotton and look like jeans, they are the only ones I will put on him!
Hmm... After my experiences over the holidays, I'm going to say new grandparents need to take the parenting classes. So much bad, outdated advice heaped on me lately!
I hate baby jeans! Who the hell wants to sleep in jeans?!?! My MIL bought DS a pair when he was a newborn, he NEVER wore them, they were the stiffest most uncomfortable looking things in the world! DS has a pair of fake jeans, they are cotton and look like jeans, they are the only ones I will put on him!
H&M has some thin and soft jeans that have a stretchy fabric waistband. Just in case you ever want to venture into the jeans world, I found that they are the only ones I like.
I hate baby jeans! Who the hell wants to sleep in jeans?!?! My MIL bought DS a pair when he was a newborn, he NEVER wore them, they were the stiffest most uncomfortable looking things in the world! DS has a pair of fake jeans, they are cotton and look like jeans, they are the only ones I will put on him!
H&M has some thin and soft jeans that have a stretchy fabric waistband. Just in case you ever want to venture into the jeans world, I found that they are the only ones I like.
https://www.hm.com/us/s/06E8L3
Good to know! The ones we got were from Walmart and were so stiff! OMG!
I can't seem to remember what my UO was going to be this week, but I've got some comments on what's already been said...
RE: marriage classes. While I agree that the divorce rate in this country is really high, I don't think forcing people to take marriage classes will have an impact on that. Each person's situation is different and who am I to judge and say that oh look you've only been dating for a month, you're not ready to be married to each other vs oh look you've been dating for 10 years, you're definitely ready. A marriage class won't determine that. My DH dated his ex for 10+ years and they were engaged before they split up. They took a marriage class and went to counseling and but that wasn't the reason they decided to separate. DH and I were only dating for about a month before we both knew we were gonna marry each other. We may not have gotten engaged and married for another couple years after that, but we never once took a marriage class and I don't think a class would have helped us any. For me, it's about a personal choice to fight through the hard times and a commitment to work it out even when things get tough. No marriage class is going to teach that, and how everyone goes about doing that is going to be different per the situation.
RE: parenting classes. I'm glad I took a parenting class, but I'm sorry the one "basic do" of reading to your kids rubbed me wrong. I've never been taught that in any parenting class I've ever taken. Do I think we should read to our kids? Absolutely. Do I think reading to my child is essential to being a good parent. Nope. I could have taken parenting classes all day everyday and that still would not have me any better prepared for what S had in store for me. I think if you're able to provide a good home, keep them clean, fed and healthy, and provide love and support you're doing good as a parent. The "basics" vary from culture to culture, even state to state, and no one parenting class is going to teach that. Yes there are bad parents in this world, there are people who should never reproduce, but no parenting class is going to change that.
I am eating my words here but I now see where you ladies were coming from when you said sleepers were for in the house. I get you ! It's like a switch went off in my head and all of a sudden they look terrible now.
I am eating my words here but I now see where you ladies were coming from when you said sleepers were for in the house. I get you ! It's like a switch went off in my head and all of a sudden they look terrible now.
I am eating my words here but I now see where you ladies were coming from when you said sleepers were for in the house. I get you ! It's like a switch went off in my head and all of a sudden they look terrible now.
I hate the idea of mandated parenting classes.
I skipped the shaken baby video in the hospital. Some of the nurses got very snippy with me, but I didn't care.
I slept through the video they made me watch 1 day post partum in the hospital on parenting...
But when you live in a civilized society all kinds of things are mandated. Sending your child to school ate age 5 is mandatory. Taking a class for a drivers license is mandatory.
I know its extreme and I'm sure there could be some sort of opt out. But I really dont see the harm and I think the benefits would far outweigh any harm.
but those things aren't actually mandatory, at least not where I live and/or grew up. Children are home schooled all over the country and if I were to home school my children, I would want them to have a well-rounded education, but there's no regulation on that. Different cultures have a different idea of what education level is required and while I may not understand it and agree with it on a personal level, I don't think anyone has any right to mandate it either.
And at least in my state, where I grew up, taking a driver's ed class was and still is completely optional.
You have to take a driving class so you don't hurt or kill anyone. On the parenting classes, I can see an argument for mandating a class that covers basic health and safety information, as misinformed parents could put a child's life in danger. The problem is, it would have to be free (so who pays for it?) and if you're going to make it mandatory, you'll have to enforce it. How do you do that? "Sorry, you didn't take the class, so you don't get to have your baby." Ohhhkay.
But the idea of mandatory marriage classes, I really don't get. I don't understand why people care so much about other people's marriages. Unless you're religious and it's a "the Bible says this..." thing. But even then, I don't understand why anyone cares about whether someone else is "sinning." Live and let live.
I can see the parenting classes needed for those whom CPS has a file on. My SIL used to be a child advocate and so many times the parents we very uneducated in child care. Not changing diapers enough and babies getting terrible diaper rash or infections, watering down formula too much or giving age inappropriate food, not addressing medical concerns etc. at some point I feel the parents rights need to be infringed on in order to protect a completely innocent and helpless child.
But when you live in a civilized society all kinds of things are mandated. Sending your child to school ate age 5 is mandatory. Taking a class for a drivers license is mandatory.
I know its extreme and I'm sure there could be some sort of opt out. But I really dont see the harm and I think the benefits would far outweigh any harm.
but those things aren't actually mandatory, at least not where I live and/or grew up. Children are home schooled all over the country and if I were to home school my children, I would want them to have a well-rounded education, but there's no regulation on that. Different cultures have a different idea of what education level is required and while I may not understand it and agree with it on a personal level, I don't think anyone has any right to mandate it either.
And at least in my state, where I grew up, taking a driver's ed class was and still is completely optional.
Home schooling is still a mandated curriculum. And yes a license is a privilege and I think having kids is a privilege.
It varies state by state. Some states have a highly regulated home school system where parents are required by law to provide their currlculum, etc. Other states have no regulation at all.
But when you live in a civilized society all kinds of things are mandated. Sending your child to school ate age 5 is mandatory. Taking a class for a drivers license is mandatory.
I know its extreme and I'm sure there could be some sort of opt out. But I really dont see the harm and I think the benefits would far outweigh any harm.
but those things aren't actually mandatory, at least not where I live and/or grew up. Children are home schooled all over the country and if I were to home school my children, I would want them to have a well-rounded education, but there's no regulation on that. Different cultures have a different idea of what education level is required and while I may not understand it and agree with it on a personal level, I don't think anyone has any right to mandate it either.
And at least in my state, where I grew up, taking a driver's ed class was and still is completely optional.
Home schooling is still a mandated curriculum. And yes a license is a privilege and I think having kids is a privilege.
I believe in MA if you are 18 or older you do not need to take Driver's Ed. You could just get your permit and then your license.
And I strongly believe that a license and having kids are privileges. Far too many ppl abuse these things.
Me (32) DH (34) | | BFP #1 4/5/12 | Natural m/c on 4/18/12 (6w1d) BFP #2 8/23/12 | DS born 5/3/13 BFP #3 12/6/15 | DD born 8/23/16 BFP #4 2/22/19 | EDD 10/28/19
I didn't take a parenting class, so I can't speak to whether it would have been useful. I was baby-siting since I was eleven and was a nanny too so I figured I knew my stuff.
But, in general, I am a little leery of "professional" advice on parenting. I had read so many parenting/baby books before LO was born and in the end I had to put all my expert books in a storage closest because they weren't working for me and I was feeling so much anxiety about the fact that LO was fitting their model. It took me months to get the "baby whisperer," out of my head. I felt like a bad mom because her EASY routine didn't work for me.
My LO probably doesn't sleep or eat in a way that an expert would advise but we are doing what works for us.
To me the most important thing you can do as a parent besides provide the basics (food/shelter,etc.,) is love your baby. To me, love makes all the difference between a good parent and a bad one.
I had my first child when i was young and the hospital offered me free parenting classes and someone to come to my house at 2 weeks pp. its a program offered to "teen" mom or mothers needing guidance. some was basic info but i did learn alot. And i would recommend it to anyone have a kid no matter what your circumstances are.
I disagree on marriage classes. There isn't a formula that makes a marriage work. Plus What on earth would they teach people in these classes.m
I was married before for 14 years (well together for 14 married 11.5). It doesn't matter how long and hard you look at your relationship beforehand it's just a screenshot of how it is at that point in time. That perfect relationship may not stay that way. Life happens, people grow and then you find you've outgrown eachother. It's a shame but like lots of things it's a learning curve and it's character building.
People should be free to marry as they please. Good choices and bad. If they don't want to think long and hard beforehand then that's their choice.
While I don't necessarily think parenting classes should be mandatory, I think they are a good thing and that a lot of people don't really understand what they're all about (or at least some of them).
They are actually free where I live, and people still don't go to them because they think it's silly. Even if you have babysat, taken care of siblings, etc. guidelines change all the time. While I did already know a lot of the stuff they talked about, there were probably a lot of people that didn't.
For example they talked about car seat safety and how your baby shouldn't wear puffy jackets/suits in them, how tight the straps should be, how your baby should stay rear facing until they reach the weight limit of the seat and why, etc. They talked about SIDS and blankets, overheating, stuff like that. To a lot of people it might be common sense, but to other people it isn't. We all know that stuff, because we talk about it on here and share information but some people just go by what their parents tell them, even though they had babies 30+ years ago. My SIL rolled her eyes when we told her we were going to the class and said "you know you don't HAVE to go, right?" She also has my 2 month old nephew's crib FULL of stuffed animals and blankets, and she turned my niece to front facing the day she turned 1 because she was 22 lbs. It's her choices and it's her kids, but I feel like if she had an expert explain the risks to her, she might do things differently instead of just thinking it's silly and that me and H are paranoid.
Marriage counselling I think is probably a good thing too, but again, shouldn't be mandatory. People would still get divorced.
ETA I meant to say, I think that people assuming parenting classes are all about showing you how to change a diaper, baths, swaddling...They actually didn't show any of that. At least in our case. It was more about safety. Those types of things the nurses offered to show us after LO was born and we could say yes or no.
I don't advocate for pre-marriage classes / counseling...plenty enough is mandated as it is. DH and I were required to take a marriage class in order to be married in the Catholic church. (I'm not Christian, but DH is.) The class basically focused on "tough" issues (finances, childrearing, etc.) and made sure that couples discussed those things. I was blown away by the number of couples who were like, "Oh, we'd never thought about that!"
I hated the class and the fact that we "had" to take it, but it's scary how many people get married without realizing they're completely opposed on issues that are, you know, kind of important. But hey - to each their own!
I hate the idea of mandated parenting classes.
I skipped the shaken baby video in the hospital. Some of the nurses got very snippy with me, but I didn't care.
My BFF was there when i was told all the videos to watch so she watched them with me. Two nurses came in the room because we were laughing and making fun of them Mystery Science Theater style so loud.
Going off the marriage topic, I'm an advocate for enjoying marriage for a few years before starting a family.
I know this is very unpopular, almost every couple I know had a LO before their 1st anniversary. I also know there are different reasons and circumstances that cause people to have kids right away.
I'm just a fan of waiting a couple of years, I can't even really define why, but that's my UO.
We had to do a marriage class to get married at our church. We were in a group with 12 other couples. It opened our eyes to how crazy people are! We walked out feeling pretty darn good about our relationship and communication skills. In no way did I mean to sound like a smug ahole btw.
Going off the marriage topic, I'm an advocate for enjoying marriage for a few years before starting a family.
I know this is very unpopular, almost every couple I know had a LO before their 1st anniversary. I also know there are different reasons and circumstances that cause people to have kids right away.
I'm just a fan of waiting a couple of years, I can't even really define why, but that's my UO.
I agree. Marriage is hard and I think couples should take their time before having kids and adding more stressors.
Going off the marriage topic, I'm an advocate for enjoying marriage for a few years before starting a family.
I know this is very unpopular, almost every couple I know had a LO before their 1st anniversary. I also know there are different reasons and circumstances that cause people to have kids right away.
I'm just a fan of waiting a couple of years, I can't even really define why, but that's my UO.
During my Sociology class in college they said that statistically, people who were married 3 years or longer before they had kids had the highest success rate.
I'm just quoting my sociology class and in no way view this as right or wrong... DH and I were married for exactly 3 years when we got pregnant out of sheer luck.
Going off the marriage topic, I'm an advocate for enjoying marriage for a few years before starting a family.
I know this is very unpopular, almost every couple I know had a LO before their 1st anniversary. I also know there are different reasons and circumstances that cause people to have kids right away.
I'm just a fan of waiting a couple of years, I can't even really define why, but that's my UO.
I dont think that is an OU, personally. We were married for 12 years before we had L. I think a solid foundation is priceless, and I really cherish and appreciate the time we had together. You dont necessarily have to wait as long as we did, lol, but there is no denying that a baby changes so much in a marriage. There have been times that I've never loved him more, and times I've never been so annoyed!
I hate the idea of mandated parenting classes.
I skipped the shaken baby video in the hospital. Some of the nurses got very snippy with me, but I didn't care.
I skipped the video too, and I also got an attitude from the nurse. She made me feel like MOTY! After having 3 kids, I think I know how to properly care for a newborn, thanks!
DH and I got married young and also knew we would be living a gypsy lifestyle for a few years. Waiting 4 years makes people ask you a lot of questions. Why are you waiting? Are you have fertility problems? Is DH sterile? Are you going to get a divorce? It was like such a strange idea to people that DH and I got married because we actually love each other and love being together. I'd tell people that and they just looked at me like I had 3 heads. When we were finally pregnant I had to send ultrasonic proof it was a human baby and not another puppy. But almost everyone I know who is getting married now (mid/late 20s) are trying to have a baby. I don't know about anyone else but year 1 and 2 of marriage were tough.
Going off the marriage topic, I'm an advocate for enjoying marriage for a few years before starting a family.
I know this is very unpopular, almost every couple I know had a LO before their 1st anniversary. I also know there are different reasons and circumstances that cause people to have kids right away.
I'm just a fan of waiting a couple of years, I can't even really define why, but that's my UO.
Does is count if you're with your partner for 7yrs before getting married? We were pregnant before our first wedding anniversary but we think it happened while celebrating 8yr dating anniversary...
I think the mandated thing is what I have the biggest problem with. Yes, classes are good things but I think requiring them would cause more problems than being helpful.
DH and I got married young and also knew we would be living a gypsy lifestyle for a few years. Waiting 4 years makes people ask you a lot of questions. Why are you waiting? Are you have fertility problems? Is DH sterile? Are you going to get a divorce? It was like such a strange idea to people that DH and I got married because we actually love each other and love being together. I'd tell people that and they just looked at me like I had 3 heads. When we were finally pregnant I had to send ultrasonic proof it was a human baby and not another puppy. But almost everyone I know who is getting married now (mid/late 20s) are trying to have a baby. I don't know about anyone else but year 1 and 2 of marriage were tough.
The first 2 years were really tough for us too and so I feel the way I do based on my experiences as well as close friends' and family's. We waited 3.5 years and I'm thankful.
1and1is3
member
Re: UO
1. Some people go through real life difficulties together before they get married (loss of family members, over coming obstacles etc.). For some people counseling isn't really necessary. That being said, I do agree that marriage is taken way too lightly these days.
2. As for parenting classes, the same rule applies. Some people practically raised their siblings or worked in an area where they already learned all that a parenting class would tell them. I would be furious if someone required me to pay for a class that didn't teach me anything.
My UO:I don't find Channing Tatum attractive.
I got back last night from being stuck in Indiana at my parents house and H has had 2 weeks baby-free in our house (it was only supposed to be 8 days- thanks Polar Vortex whatever!) and the house is so filthy I could have murdered him in his sleep and the mess would have just blended in.
Popular opinion: yay that you're back!
https://www.hm.com/us/s/06E8L3
RE: marriage classes. While I agree that the divorce rate in this country is really high, I don't think forcing people to take marriage classes will have an impact on that. Each person's situation is different and who am I to judge and say that oh look you've only been dating for a month, you're not ready to be married to each other vs oh look you've been dating for 10 years, you're definitely ready. A marriage class won't determine that. My DH dated his ex for 10+ years and they were engaged before they split up. They took a marriage class and went to counseling and but that wasn't the reason they decided to separate. DH and I were only dating for about a month before we both knew we were gonna marry each other. We may not have gotten engaged and married for another couple years after that, but we never once took a marriage class and I don't think a class would have helped us any. For me, it's about a personal choice to fight through the hard times and a commitment to work it out even when things get tough. No marriage class is going to teach that, and how everyone goes about doing that is going to be different per the situation.
RE: parenting classes. I'm glad I took a parenting class, but I'm sorry the one "basic do" of reading to your kids rubbed me wrong. I've never been taught that in any parenting class I've ever taken. Do I think we should read to our kids? Absolutely. Do I think reading to my child is essential to being a good parent. Nope. I could have taken parenting classes all day everyday and that still would not have me any better prepared for what S had in store for me. I think if you're able to provide a good home, keep them clean, fed and healthy, and provide love and support you're doing good as a parent. The "basics" vary from culture to culture, even state to state, and no one parenting class is going to teach that. Yes there are bad parents in this world, there are people who should never reproduce, but no parenting class is going to change that.
it was the best sleep I had my whole stay there.
And at least in my state, where I grew up, taking a driver's ed class was and still is completely optional.
But the idea of mandatory marriage classes, I really don't get. I don't understand why people care so much about other people's marriages. Unless you're religious and it's a "the Bible says this..." thing. But even then, I don't understand why anyone cares about whether someone else is "sinning." Live and let live.
I believe in MA if you are 18 or older you do not need to take Driver's Ed. You could just get your permit and then your license.
And I strongly believe that a license and having kids are privileges. Far too many ppl abuse these things.
Me (32) DH (34) | |
BFP #1 4/5/12 | Natural m/c on 4/18/12 (6w1d)
BFP #2 8/23/12 | DS born 5/3/13
BFP #3 12/6/15 | DD born 8/23/16
BFP #4 2/22/19 | EDD 10/28/19
But, in general, I am a little leery of "professional" advice on parenting. I had read so many parenting/baby books before LO was born and in the end I had to put all my expert books in a storage closest because they weren't working for me and I was feeling so much anxiety about the fact that LO was fitting their model. It took me months to get the "baby whisperer," out of my head. I felt like a bad mom because her EASY routine didn't work for me.
My LO probably doesn't sleep or eat in a way that an expert would advise but we are doing what works for us.
To me the most important thing you can do as a parent besides provide the basics (food/shelter,etc.,) is love your baby. To me, love makes all the difference between a good parent and a bad one.
I was married before for 14 years (well together for 14 married 11.5). It doesn't matter how long and hard you look at your relationship beforehand it's just a screenshot of how it is at that point in time. That perfect relationship may not stay that way. Life happens, people grow and then you find you've outgrown eachother. It's a shame but like lots of things it's a learning curve and it's character building.
People should be free to marry as they please. Good choices and bad. If they don't want to think long and hard beforehand then that's their choice.
Edit: In my opinion of course.
I don't advocate for pre-marriage classes / counseling...plenty enough is mandated as it is. DH and I were required to take a marriage class in order to be married in the Catholic church. (I'm not Christian, but DH is.) The class basically focused on "tough" issues (finances, childrearing, etc.) and made sure that couples discussed those things. I was blown away by the number of couples who were like, "Oh, we'd never thought about that!"
I hated the class and the fact that we "had" to take it, but it's scary how many people get married without realizing they're completely opposed on issues that are, you know, kind of important. But hey - to each their own!
I know this is very unpopular, almost every couple I know had a LO before their 1st anniversary. I also know there are different reasons and circumstances that cause people to have kids right away.
I'm just a fan of waiting a couple of years, I can't even really define why, but that's my UO.
O14 January Signature Challenge: Snow Fails
I skipped the video too, and I also got an attitude from the nurse. She made me feel like MOTY! After having 3 kids, I think I know how to properly care for a newborn, thanks!
DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!