Feeling like a failure....vent

mommatogirls · January 2014

I'm am officially over due. I was really trying for a vbac but because baby has not grown in two weeks they have scheduled me for RCS tomorrow morning. They have said all along if baby comes its own I can do vbac. All my other kids were early so I never thought I would make it to this point. I really don't want another cs for the main reason is I have very little help and 3 kids already. I really wanted a short recovery. I am feeling very down and feeling like I failed. I just wish I had more time for this LO to come on its own. I begged my doc to give me more time but he doesn't think its a good idea because of baby's growth. DH doesn't get it he doesn't see it as a big deal. I told him its because after 2 days he goes back to work and i'm here with 4 kids and cant get up by myself. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm over emotional and annoyed. Now i'm going to go cry while I get kids ready for school.

megs12914 · January 2014

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. You aren't a failure at all your body just has other plans!

cja06 · January 2014

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this, and you have every right to be disappointed and upset. Is there any way you can get DH to stay home a little longer while you recover? Or maybe there is a way to have your doctor talk to him and note that you will need some significant support in the next couple weeks while you recover? Don't know if hearing it from a third party could help. Either way I wish you luck on your RCS tomorrow!

JaneW2 · January 2014

Unfortunately, if you're post-dates and the baby's stopped growing, it would be very dangerous to the baby to wait any longer. They wound up taking my baby at 37 weeks due to growth restriction, and even though he had some brief problems with jaundice as a result, I still think delivering was safer for him than waiting.

Definitely, you need help though! Is there any way your husband can get more time off? When we were discharged from the hospital after my C/S, my OB made a point of explaining in front of my husband what I was not permitted to do for the next two weeks. Which was basically anything except basic self-care and baby tending for the newborn.

In a pinch, you could maybe hire some help?

peanutmuse · January 2014

You are not a failure. That is all I want to say. And I'm sorry that it didn't go the way that you hoped.

pejay · January 2014

So sorry, maybe something will happen on it's own today. Sending good thoughts your way

juliasmama2010 · January 2014

I'm sorry you're not getting your vbac, but you're not a failure. The main goal is a healthy baby and this is the best way to make that happen. I agree with PP, can you hire some home help or recruit a friend/relative to give you a hand for a week or two? I hope you can get the help you so desperately need.

thelittlepear · January 2014

I'm sorry it's not going how you planned. You are NOT a failure though - sometimes babies are just stubborn! Thoughts and prayers that all goes well tomorrow

RedSaffron · January 2014

While I did not go through the same situation with the VBAC, I totally understand how hard and emotional when something you planned did not go the way you wanted it to be. I planned on EBF all throughout my pregnancy and when LO arrived, we both had latching issues and I ended up using formula to help supplement her on days when we had issues. I understand that feeling of being a failure, but I want to tell you, you're not. There are things that are out of our control and we should not take the blame for them. Good luck mama, you're in my prayers.

goldenB · January 2014

Sorry you are going through this, but the most important thing you and baby are safe and healthy. Once you have your LO in your arms, it will all be worth it.

(hugs)

Deblondie1 · January 2014

You are NOT a failure, maybe LO just need more cook time. I'm sorry you won't get the birth experience and recovery you had hoped for.

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