WORK DILEMMA!!

CindyJill27 · January 2014

So heres my dilemma...

I have been working at my dental office for almost 10 years now, right when the office opened up actually. Now we are coming up and celebrating our 10 year anniversary as an office and my boss is taking us on a 4-5 day cruise...It was suppose to be in May, but with the date being soo close to my EDD of June 6th he wants to postpone it to Oct, becuase he says I deserve to go. I love that he was thinking of me and thinks that I deserve to go, becuase honestly, I bust my butt there and I LOVE my job so in part-I do deserve to go hahaha.

BUT....

My dilemma is that baby N will only be roughly 4-5months old. Do I honestly even think about leaving a newborn that early?? I would love to go on the trip with all my coeworkers, but honestly I don't even want to think about leaving our little baby and what if I am breast feeding...how is that going to work?!? UGH I don't know what to do. I haven't talked to DH about it yet due to the fact of only hearing about this today, and I am a FTM and feel like I don't know anything!! Is it okay to leave your baby for 5 DAYS at 4-5 months old?!? UGGGGHHHH!! Should I have not even thought of such a thing?? Am I awful for thinking I might want to go? Why is this so difficult and why do I feel like crying over such a discussion-oh yea might be the hormones flying through my system right now.....

What do the experienced moms think and suggest and even FTM's...what would you do??

ncbelle · January 2014

I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my baby at that point. Can baby come along?

lellymine · January 2014

My SIL left her 4 month with us for a long weekend to celebrate their anniversary. She said it was hard but in the end she was very glad they went.

owlcup · January 2014

I don't think I'd be comfortable. Maybe your DH and baby could go too? You could hang with your co-workers while DH hangs with the babe except for feedings and what not?

FutureMrsW9 · January 2014

First of all, that's freakin' awesome!!!

To sort of answer your question...one of my friends and HH left their baby for 10 days to go to Hawaii (granted it was for free and came up all of a sudden) when he was about 8 months old. Even at that point I don't think I'd do more than like a close-by overnight wedding....but to each their own I suppose.

At that point I don't think I'd be able to leave my baby for that long, especially if I was still BF, which obviously you have no idea how that's going to go yet so there's really no way to know for sure.

What's your gut telling you? I always think it's best to go with you gut and first instincts - they're usually right.

sarahlynnc317 · January 2014

As long as I had someone I felt comfortable leaving the baby with I would go.

kibean · January 2014

I don't know the answer, but don't feel guilty about thinking about it! I would be thinking about it under those circumstances too!

tbmadeamistake · January 2014

I had to go away for a week for a convention for work when C was about 9 months old. It was hard, but she was with DH, who I trusted implicitly to at least keep her alive, if not clean and happy as well

. It was hard, but I was so busy I had no time to miss her except when I was in the hotel at night. At 5 months old, I'd probably be ok with doing 5 days provided I was leaving her with either DH or a close family member. Is DH invited on the cruise or will he be staying home?

I was formula feeding at that point, so it wasn't really an issue. If BF, I guess I'd try to build up a stash before hand so she could have been bottle fed while I was gone, and I'd have had to pump to keep my supply up...but being in CA with a baby on the East Coast, I'd have had to dump it (I've heard of women freezing it and sending it home in dry ice, but oof the cost!). To each their own, and you may be able to get more of a feel for it after baby arrives. You can always explain later if you're still not ok going, but at the very least everyone still gets to go...it's not like they would cancel or postpone again if you still weren't ready to leave LO.

Mia081081 · January 2014

FYI baby must be 6 months old to be allowed on a cruise and they cost the same as an adult (cost is per space on lifeboat and any passenger = 1 space)

robbinrl · January 2014

lalala8 said:
If bringing baby is an option, I would play it by ear and see how you feel. If you're ok leaving him/her, then do it. If you're not, then just bring baby along. An infant shouldn't incur any extra costs.

Either way, I wouldn't pass up a free vacation.

I think 6 months is the minimum age for most cruise lines. Disney may be slightly younger. We've been wanting to plan a family cruise for my parents 60th birthdays and haven't been able to find a good time with pregnancies and babies popping up!

CindyJill27 · January 2014

Oh wow didn't know that @mia081081 thanks for the heads up. And as far as I know It would only be me and baby N would stay with DH. I could always mention to my boss that we would pay for DH and baby to come along...maybe that would be an option @ narwalicorns

I dunno....my gut is just telling me-as much as i'll hate missing a great trip, i'd rather stay home with DH and baby N..and hey it wouldn't happen again for another 10 years, but at least i'll need a trip away at that point haha

robbinrl · January 2014

Also, if you have someone you feel comfortable leaving the baby with and you are comfortable being away then go for it! BFing/pumping will be hard, but possible. Maybe suggest that your boss gets your ticket refundable or transferable so he can get his money back if you can't go.

LovetoLive614 · January 2014

Maybe this pregnancy still doesn't feel real and I haven't connected to my baby enough yet to know how I would feel but as of now I would go as long as I was leaving baby with someone I trusted completely. Also I think it would be important to me that I would be able to call home and check in whenever I wanted. I have never been on a cruise so I dunno how that works but if it was a situation where I couldn't contact home, I think I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself on cruise.

CindyJill27 · January 2014

thats a good idea @robbinrl maybe I can say yes, but have him get the refundable option or whatnot so that if I decide to not go last min then I wouldn't feel so bad..

courtneyjean1980 · January 2014

I had to go on a business trip to Italy for 5 days when my DS was 4 1/2 months old. It was really hard, mostly because I was nursing and wanted to continue when I got home, so I was pumping and dumping 8 times a day to keep up my supply. It was also really hard for DH, even though his mom and sister came to help out, because DS just really wanted mama.

My DS is fine, it certainly didn't scar him for life or anything, but in that situation, I probably wouldn't do it again.

If I'd weaned by then, if DS was a less needy baby, if my DH could really take time off work, I might do it. But that's all hard to plan in advance. If they'll let you wait to make the decision until after baby comes, I'd do that.

crestedlady · January 2014

I agree with previous posters that it is a personal decision. Personally, I left my son with my parents or husband for a few weekend trips (anywhere from 2-4 days apiece) beginning when he was 5 months old so that I could continue to pursue my hobby, competing in dog shows.

Contributing factors to why I felt comfortable doing so include: 1) my son is a very easy baby to keep - hardly cries or fusses ever, 2) I am a very laid back person, which has extended to my parenting style, 3) I trusted everyone caring for him in my absence implicitly, and 4) I exclusively pumped, so it wasn't a whole lot different pumping at home vs. at the hotel. Did I miss my son on these trips? Of course, especially the first time I went, but I still enjoyed being at the shows and having baby-free time (particularly as I am a stay at home mom).

Obviously, I definitely don't think that you are awful for considering going. If your boss can delay buying tickets (or get a refundable one for you), then I would see if they would be amenable to that. Once the baby is here and you have started to hit your stride as a new mother, you will have a much better idea of what you will be comfortable with regarding their care in your absence.

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WORK DILEMMA!!

Re: WORK DILEMMA!!

Married DH 7/30/11

CSC arrived 5/7/12

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