what next? (new loss mentioned)

kboydbowman · January 2014

So, I guess I'm trying to prepare myself for what's next....

After a first ultrasound this morning where the midwife found a baby but no heartbeat, she referred us out this afternoon for a higher resolution ultrasound. Second ultrasound showed no heartbeat and stopped growth at 7w5d (should be 10w). So I have lost the baby and I guess this would be considered a missed miscarriage (I haven't had any spotting or bleeding yet). Wife and I are beside ourselves; she is still crying, I am in numb mode. Have already called our respective works and taken the next week off. Midwife will be calling later, presumably to talk about how to proceed; she drew an HCG level so hopefully that will let me know if it looks like I'll pass it naturally or whether we need to do a D&C or RU486 or whatever. Still in shock. Somehow I knew though - my boobs had stopped getting bigger and weren't as sore. We will try again, but this hurts a lot obviously. The ultrasound technician was very respectful and did take some still shots for us to keep. In some ways I hate that we had announced already but in other ways it will be nice to have the support.

For those of you that have had a miscarriage around 10 weeks or with growth stoppage at 7-8 weeks, what options were you given? What did you choose to do (and why, if you feel comfortable sharing)? If you ended up allowing the pregnancy to pass on its own, how long did it take? If you did a D&C, was it general anesthesia or local or what? Is RU486 even an option? How long did it take afterwards to start ovulating again? I know everyone's different and I'm not trying to have ya'll be "Dr. Google" for me, I'm just overwhelmed right now and curious about what different sorts of experiences people have had and what my choices might be.

aezimmerman · January 2014

I am very sorry for your loss. I don't really have the answers you are looking for. I was 9 weeks along, but growth stopped at 6 weeks. My miscarriage happened naturally. The ER doctor who gave me the news (after finding a large drop in my HCG level) told me that being only 9 weeks along that I shouldn't need a D&C. However, I was already bleeding at that point. I later spoke with my obstetrician. He gave me the impressive that the only reason for me to have a D&C is if everything did not pass. I will tell you that my miscarriage was painful. I had severe cramping. My options were to just endure it or take prescription pain killers. I opted for the pain killers which helped a lot. Honestly, I think these are questions for your care provider, which sounds like the midwife you mentioned. That person knows your medical history and will be able to give you the best advice. I hope that helps at least a little bit.

redheadscu1 · January 2014

I am truly sorry for your loss. I had a MC at 9 weeks with the growth also stopping at 9 weeks. The three options I was given were 1) wait for it to happen naturally, 2) take the vaginal inserts to induce cramping/bleeding, or 3) D&C. I chose to do the vaginal inserts. I didn't want to wait for it to happen naturally, because my NP said it could take up to 3 weeks to actually start bleeding. I didnt choose the D&C for a few reasons. The first was that I preferred to be in the comfort of my own home with my DH while going through this. The second was that my NP sort of hinted that the doctor's office preferred to not do D&Cs until women tried the other way first. Finally, I was advised that risk of damage to the cervix after D&C is extremely low, but the
other ways the risk is even lower.
I was fortunate in that my experience was not physically very painful. I only had moderate cramping for a couple hours. My bkeeding only lasted about a week. My period returned 4 weeks later. Emotionally, it was very difficult to see and feel the baby when he/she was passed. So, in that way, a D&C might be better. Also, I do know at least one person in real life who took the inserts, but there was still tissue left, so she had to go back for a D&C anyways.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I am glad you plan to try again, and I hope you future pregnancies are healthy and happy.

saramihailovich · January 2014

I went in for my first appointment after finding out I was pregnant at about 5.5 weeks. At the appointment, the Dr. decided to do an ultrasound because of some minor spotting, just to check and see if everything was okay. Well, it wasn't. There was no baby in the sack. I did a series of blood tests over the next few days and found my HCG levels were rising (slowly), but progesterone wasn't. After two weeks of uncertainties and hope, there was no heartbeat and no baby seen in ultrasound at 7.5 weeks. We were give the options to wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally, to take the misoprostol to induce the miscarriage, or to do a D&C. We chose to do the misoprostol. I think this was the best decision for us. Once I knew the pregnancy was not viable, I just wanted it to be done and I wanted closure. Misoprostol was an inexpensive option compared to the D&C and at the early stage I was at, I was told it almost always works. I didn't want to wait for it to happen naturally because I didn't like the uncertainty of how long it would take, or that it could happen at any time anywhere.

When I took the misoprostol I experienced intense cramping starting about 4 hours after my first dose and had passed everything around 6 hours after my first dose. Even though everything had passed (or I was pretty sure it had) I still continued to take the rest of the prescription (as recommended by my Dr.) After everything passed, the pain subsided, bleeding continued at a slow rate for the next 3-4 days, horomones began to subside after about a week, and I started my period 4 weeks after the MC, and started ovulating again 2 weeks after period started.

My doctor recommended waiting 3 cycles to start trying to conceive again, but also noted that if we were to get pregnant again before then, it would be okay. She said they recommend waiting 3 cycles (not counting the bleeding from the miscarriage) to give you the best possible chance for a good pregnancy the next go around.

rascus15 · January 2014

SIGGY AND TICKER WARNING

I had a blighted ovum. That diagnosis was confirmed when I should have been around 9 weeks. I have fibroid tumors so my OB was concerned that if it happened naturally or with medication assistance that I would have uncontrollable bleeding so I opted for the D&C. D&C carries it's own risks, but everyone felt that was best for my health. I had the procedure with general anesthetic and minimal pain after. I did have a time during recovery where I had large blood clots for a few days and went on meds for that. I bled for about 3 weeks (most of the time period type bleeding) then stopped for a week then had my period. My doctor recommended waiting 2-3 cycles before trying again. We honestly didn't think it would happen so soon but I only had one period after d&c and I was pregnant again. I will hit 26 weeks tomorrow. None of the issues I have with this pregnancy have anything to do with the issues I had last time or from the d&c. My OB would have preferred I wait a few cycles but it is what it is. I wish you peace and luck for next time.

Edited to add siggy and ticker warning.

blue2mango · January 2014

I am sorry for your loss. I found out at 7w that growth had stopped at about 6w2d. I wanted to naturally miscarry (nmc) because I felt like I wanted my body to make the decision when it was ready. My midwife let me wait 4 weeks but nothing so I took misoprostol at about week 10. I had medium cramping pain and a heavy like period with several clots for about 5 days. I didn't take any pain meds as it was never that bad. Cramping stopped but bleeding continued for 3 more days and then I have been spotting for at least 10 days past that. I am spotting even less so I am assuming it will stop soon. I can't tell you about AF or ovulation because I am at the tail end of my miscarriage. I really did not want a d&c because I am scared shitless of being put under anesthesia. My numbers are declining according to my 2 draws (1 more tomorrow) so I am hoping it continues and a d&c is not needed.

katib77 · January 2014

Others have given you personal.stories so I'm just adding to it. My IVF/FET cycle ended in mmc at 8w3d. We went with miso (cytotec) as my RE only does d&c if medically needed. My blog is linked in my sig if you are on a pc you can go there and read the most recent two or three posts to read our experience with the drug.

gabbagal · January 2014

Last year I discovered I had a missed miscarriage when I went in for my first ultrasound at 9.5 weeks. They couldn't find a heartbeat and estimated that the baby made it to 9 weeks and 1 day, so whatever went wrong had just happened. The recommended I get a D&C (maybe b/c they knew it would be a longer wait since it had just happened?) and arranged for me to be added the next day so that I could minimize the wait. I was petrified and worried about the small risk, but did it anyway. I don't know whether I had local or general, but I don't remember a thing. They said I could bleed for a few days to a week and I ended up bleeding for two weeks, but the second week was pretty light. I think it was 5 weeks after the procedure when AF came, then it was pretty regular after that.

Unfortunately I am in the process of my second mc, but this one started happening naturally at around 6.5 weeks. I went in for an ultrasound (last Friday, the 3rd) b/c I was cramping and spotting and they noticed that growth had likely stopped around 5 weeks since it was almost too small to measure. Since my body had already started the process, I decided to let it play out. The first signs of cramping and spotting were last Thursday (the 2nd), then heavier bleeding and cramping on Friday and Saturday (like a heavy period), with the majority of the clots passing on Friday night. The cramping was still there Sunday and Monday, but much lighter and I haven't needed a heating pad since Monday. The last couple of days have been much lighter and it feels like the tail end (the ultrasound on Monday showed my uterus was basically empty at that point which was devastating to see, but a relief to know it was passing).

Having experienced two different mcs, each has its pros and cons. The D&C was quick and relatively painless (three days after the procedure, I had strong abdominal pains and a low grade fever, but that only lasted a day), with slightly longer bleeding. It was more controlled and I didn't have to worry about when and where the mc would happen. Although in some ways it was harder to accept it was over b/c I never had symptoms that anything was wrong (like spotting/cramping) .

The nmc was difficult b/c you actually have to face the problem and see/feel everything coming out, but I was lucky b/c my cramping and bleeding, although strong at times, were lighter compared to some other people's experiences, probably b/c it was so small. I'm not sure how long it will take before things "reset". I had blood drawn last Friday, this past Monday (levels went down significantly) and am going back a week from tomorrow. I didn't need to do these follow-up blood tests when I had the D&C, not that I mind, but it's another difference to note.

Another thing to be aware of that can happen is even after a nmc, you still may need drugs and/or a D&C if everything doesn't pass (which happened to a friend of mine). She had wished she just had the D&C from the beginning so she could've avoided the extra discomfort.

Whatever you choose, I hope everything goes well and that you gets lots of support for those you told. I didn't regret telling close friends b/c I definitely needed them to lean on during the difficult times. Good luck to you and your wife and so sorry for your loss. And sorry this was so long!

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