This pain in my heart will NEVER go away....

jonahsma · January 2014

I want to forget this whole thing, it hurts too bad. I wish it were a dream, but it consumes me every second of every minute. I want to wake up from this nightmare. I try to convince myself that it didn't happen, I try my hardest to forget and then maybe this pain will go away, but I can't forget, because if I forget I will be forgetting Emily. Im scared to forget her. Everyone else has. She was nothing to them and everything to me. I sit here broken... my heart is completely broken....oh my. I sit here staring at my belly which once held my living child. And it is empty and my heart is empty along with it, I literally feel like I am dying. I love my baby and I wish she were growing in my belly that's where she belongs. This pain is constant and I feel it will Never go away..

jess123456 · January 2014

Big hugs to you. Please know that you aren't alone in feeling this way.

If you haven't already I highly recommend reaching out to a therapist that specializes in pregnancy/infant loss. I recently started going again and it has helped me so much along my journey. Even just for the sake of someone validating my feelings has helped and she has done so much more than that. Also, a support group can also be so helpful. It is a dark road but you don't have to walk it alone. I wish I could give you a big hug in person.

shandorfml2 · January 2014

Big hugs...normal feelings sweetie, we have all been there. I'm 10 months out. The pain lessons, and you will NEVER forget your child. It's a hard, long road we walk but with time it does get easier.

shandorfml2 · January 2014

I agree with Jess, I see a therapist and go to a support group. Both have been very helpful

mingaling2 · January 2014

{Hugs} It does feel like drowning at times. I, too, have found help by speaking to a therapist.

Heatherhah · January 2014

I am over 2 years out since we lost our DD and while I have very dark and sad days they are not as often as they werei n the very beginning. Please be easy on yourself. What happened to us no one can imagine and the pain is unbearable but you will be okay I promise. Huge hugs!! I agree about a support group or a therapist they all helped me and continue to at thsi point.

Heather

Noethola · January 2014

***Siggy warning***

Please do not feel like you are going through this alone. Even if all you do is reach out to an online group, its great to find resources that will validate your feelings and let you know that you will never forget Emily. I agree that local resources are a great source of comfort. Big ((hugs))!

BrittianyM · January 2014

Sending hugs your way! I am so sorry that you are hurting so bad right now. No one should ever have to feel this but we all have. Here for you whenever you need us.

stefuge · January 2014

Huge ((hugs)). I'm so sorry. You are not alone in your feelings and we are all here for you.

VyD81 · January 2014

Hugs. Like pp said, you're definitely not alone. We're here for you. This forum and local support group are helpful to me. Have you reach out to any support groups?

kz's_girlygirl · January 2014

I am so sorry for the loss of beautiful Emily and the pain you are feeling.

I am not yet 3 months out from our loss, and definitely have moments/days when I am seemingly overwhelmed with grief and pain. You will never forget your daughter- never! For me, the moments of crippling pain are becoming less frequent, and I hope the same happens for you. But know that your pain comes from a place of love and that your love for Emily will carry you through the pain.

I will be thinking of you with light and peace

jonahsma · January 2014

Thank You ladies. You have all been a great support system for me and I thank and appreciate you all. This is the hardest thing in life to go through. I know with the help of faith, family and friends I will get through this. I think there is a local church that holds compassionate friends support group. I am going to look into it.. Thank you ladies once again for your words of encouragement.

schulme2 · January 2014

I am so sorry for your pain. Please known you're not alone as we have all felt like that and sometimes still do. It does lessen, but it is always there. You will never forget Emily as she will always be part of you and you will always be her mama. Sending big hugs to you.

kflynn81 · January 2014

((Hugs)) I know exactly where you're coming from. When I was struggling with infertility I found Resolve whixh was a great support group local and that group leader recently recommended to me the Share organization. I'm checking it out this week. Maybe check on that group and see if they're local to you? Wish I had magic words to take the pain away for all of us

jbranden12 · January 2014

((hugs)) Like @Heatherhah said, almost 2 years later the pain does not diminish but the dark, lonely days become further apart and slowly the happy days return. Our love for our children never goes away.

cawettig · January 2014

jbranden12 said:

((hugs)) Like @Heatherhah said, almost 2 years later the pain does not diminish but the dark, lonely days become further apart and slowly the happy days return. Our love for our children never goes away.

I agree with what they have said, I am 9 months out on Friday and some days I can't stop crying. The love that I had has not diminished and never will. I feel like you do, no one talks about our angel and it makes me so mad! Dh says it's most likely because they don't know how to with out hurting me. Big hugs

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This pain in my heart will NEVER go away....

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