Getting DH to make plans?

AKB090609 · January 2014

When you want DH to do something, (like plan a date) do you just ask him or drop hints?

I want DH to plan a 'date' during our vacation, dinner alone is fine I don't need anything big or complicated. Childcare is not an issue, I am just debating on the better approach. DH is not particularly romantic or thoughtful, but I'd love a surprise. I think if I said "I want a night away during the trip" he would just tell me to plan it myself.

Cheenomae · January 2014

My DH is really tender, but he doesn't think to plan things without my input. He just isn't that sentimental kind of guy. Usually I'm ok with it, but there have been a few times where I just wish he'd plan something special so I didn't have to. In those cases though I just flat out ask him. "Hey, while we're in such and such place will you plan us a fun little date that I don't have to think about, but I'll get to enjoy?" He's usually good with that!!

AKB090609 · January 2014

Cheenomae said:

My DH is really tender, but he doesn't think to plan things without my input. He just isn't that sentimental kind of guy. Usually I'm ok with it, but there have been a few times where I just wish he'd plan something special so I didn't have to. In those cases though I just flat out ask him. "Hey, while we're in such and such place will you plan us a fun little date that I don't have to think about, but I'll get to enjoy?" He's usually good with that!!

DH is a great guy he just won't think of it on his own, your approach is probably the best way for me to get what I want with out being the planner.

Hyaline · January 2014

If you want something specific, ask for it. If you don't ask, you set yourself up for disappointment. Your hints, even if you think they're obvious, might go right over his head, or he might think you're leading him to do something else. Like pick up milk and eggs on the way home from work. Lord only knows. Just ask.

redneckmomma25 · January 2014

My husband doesn't plan dates. Unless it involves hunting, shooting or fishing. All else is my territory.

AKB090609 · January 2014

redneckmomma25 said:

My husband doesn't plan dates. Unless it involves hunting, shooting or fishing. All else is my territory.

Sounds like fun, as long as I don't have to look at or touch any fish out of water. Fish are CREEPY!

kelbel527 · January 2014

In my experience, hints never work. I'd go for @Cheenomae 's approach. That's what I do when I want him to plan something. Usually it works. But if I want something specific, I usually just plan it myself.

AKB090609 · January 2014

Hyaline said:

If you want something specific, ask for it. If you don't ask, you set yourself up for disappointment. Your hints, even if you think they're obvious, might go right over his head, or he might think you're leading him to do something else. Like pick up milk and eggs on the way home from work. Lord only knows. Just ask.

I don't want anything specific, just time away from the in laws and DD. We don't get to be alone together often. I don't care if we go to dinner, walk in a park or go to the grocery store.

AKB090609 · January 2014

kelbel527 said:

In my experience, hints never work. I'd go for @Cheenomae 's approach. That's what I do when I want him to plan something. Usually it works. But if I want something specific, I usually just plan it myself.

You are probably right, I sometimes miss dating he was really good about thinking of/planning things to do when we were 16...

hmp1 · January 2014

I would plan it together because that is more our style. Sitting on the couch looking at trip advisor for a fun place to go. Or I would just tell DH that you want to go out to dinner just the two of you one night during the vacation. I don't think there needs to be planning involved. When we have date nights we usually just eat whatever we are in the mood for, not something we had planned out in advance.

KellersPrag · January 2014

If I wanted a date night, I'd plan it.

AKB090609 · January 2014

hmp1 said:

I would plan it together because that is more our style. Sitting on the couch looking at trip advisor for a fun place to go. Or I would just tell DH that you want to go out to dinner just the two of you one night during the vacation. I don't think there needs to be planning involved. When we have date nights we usually just eat whatever we are in the mood for, not something we had planned out in advance.

I planned the whole trip (with DH's input) I don't want to plan this too. Due to where we are staying and the fact that we are sharing a vehicle with the inlaws we need a bit of a plan so that they can plan for meals and activities for themselves.

Hyaline · January 2014

Hyaline said:

If you want something specific, ask for it. If you don't ask, you set yourself up for disappointment. Your hints, even if you think they're obvious, might go right over his head, or he might think you're leading him to do something else. Like pick up milk and eggs on the way home from work. Lord only knows. Just ask.

I don't want anything specific, just time away from the in laws and DD. We don't get to be alone together often. I don't care if we go to dinner, walk in a park or go to the grocery store.

**
That's specific, though! You want a date night (not a fun night out with LO, not a family dinner, not a spa day with your MIL). Ask for it Like cheenomae said, just tell him you'd like a night out during the vacay, just the two of you, and would appreciate it if he could plan something.

bosha711 · January 2014

MH does plan stuff on his own as a surprise. But, if I wanted him to plan something like you're saying, then I would just ask him.

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