Any Moms working from home? I need some advice/help...

Tess024 · January 2014

I was literally in tears about this last night...

I'm due at the end of this month, and plan to go back to working full time in May after my maternity leave. Since daycare is SOO expensive, DH's mother has offered to take the baby 3 days a week, and I was going to work form home the other 2. This plan seemed all well and find until yesterday when I tried to talk to my boss about it...

She really wanted to help me, but she said that it would be almost impossible to dedicate working 8 hours during the day while trying to take care of an infant. I never even thought about that. I also can't imagine taking care of an infant all day until my husband comes home at 6, and then putting my 8 hours in from 6 until 2am.

I really have no idea what to do, and I'm freaking out because I have no idea how the rest of the world does it??? I feel like we should have thought this through more. Was this a mistake? I can't afford to stay at home, and we both need our jobs. I can't just work the 3 days his mother takes care of the baby, because then I would be P/T and lose my salary and all my benefits.

What have other people done in this situation?

djm31012 · January 2014

I would say if you are working from home you either need to hire a nanny/sitter or put the baby in day care...some day cares do half days...so maybe you could put the baby in day care from like 9-1 and do more work after DH comes home? That might be the most affordable option.

Ridgebackmom · January 2014

Well, if your MIL plans to watch the baby 3 days a week then that leaves only 2 at DC which is much more affordable than 5 days. I would try to WFH on those 2 days so it makes it easier to drop off/pick up. Can you work 4- 10 hr days?

*sparky* · January 2014

Ridgebackmom said:

Well, if your MIL plans to watch the baby 3 days a week then that leaves only 2 at DC which is much more affordable than 5 days. I would try to WFH on those 2 days so it makes it easier to

drop off/pick up. Can you work 4- 10 hr days?

If you are working 5 days, you need five days of care. In-home DC's are usually less expensive than centers and also you are more likely to find an in-home that offers part time for infants. A lot of centers will not. So with your MIL watching your LO three days, paying for just two days of care should not be too much $. If that is still tight, I would suggest looking through your budget to find things you can cut.

jlaOK · January 2014

Your boss is right. It is impossible to work from home for 8 hrs a day with a baby (I WFH and have a 6 month old).

I agree with @*sparky*. Look into in-home daycare for the 2 remaining days your MIL can't watch the baby. They are usually more willing to do part-time and are generally less expensive than centers. For example, in-home daycare runs around $35/day in my low cost of living area. You might be able to get in enough extra hours throughout the week to only need one day of daycare by working late or after your husband comes home, but even that will be a strain for a new mom.

If you need any help thinking of other budget savings tips, please let us know. Hope it works out for you.

redjellybean128 · January 2014

I work from home and even though I haven't had my baby yet, I can tell you it will be almost impossible to care for a baby while working at home. I would take PP's suggestion about seeing if there is an in home option available for 2 days a week. Maybe (and I don't know from personal experience if it could work but was something I was thinking about) you could hire an in home sitter though a place like care.com for the 2 days. You might be able to find a responsible college student that would be more affordable than day care as an option. You would still be home, but be able to focus on work at the same time while knowing that your baby is properly cared for.

mexicolombiana · January 2014

Figuring out good child day care is one of the hardest thing to figure out as a working parent.

Unfortunately you have to come to terms with the fact that you must pay for child care those other 2 days. I agree with looking into a babysitter for 2 days while you work from home. This might be a good solution so you can be at home and nurse the baby (if you're nursing) but you can close your office door and get work done most of the day.

It's tough, but we all somehow manage. Do you have anyone else in your family who could help? We had 2 aunts help us watch our children when they were small babies which helped greatly but we still paid them (just at a much reduced rate). Then we had to hire a full time nanny.

You did not make a mistake you just have to think creatively to figure it out. It will all work out, just start looking for a babysitter now!

VOR · January 2014

Yup- find a DC for 2 days a week. Whether it's an in home that does PT or you hire a nanny PT.

2-Step · January 2014

You need daycare if you plan to work, period. You could still work from home to take some pressure off yourself from commuting, but you definitely need care for your kid if you plan on working. I have my kids in daycare and I work from home.

You can find a way to make it work. If your hours are flexible you could consider having a nanny come from noon to five and then work until 8pm so your husband can take over and you only pay for five hours. Or consider working four tens and have a nanny one day per week.Can you work weekends? Sometimes I work a few hours on Saturday morning to make up for the week if I can't get them all in, but my job is super flexible.

My childcare situation has changed over the years depending on my job, but we always figure out a way to make it work.

michaelaskedlauren · January 2014

As PP said, you will need to find childcare for those 2 days you WFH. Whether that be daycare, or an in-home sitter. As someone who WFH 1-2 days a week there is no way Id be able to get any work done if I didnt have my nanny.

It is good that your boss was up front about it so at least you have time to figure it out. You will figure out a solution that works for you - and a silver lining is that you then will have another trusted source of childcare in case MIL isnt available for date nights, she gets sick, goes on vacation, etc. Good luck!

mae0111 · January 2014

I WFH 2 days a week, and when DD1 was consistently napping twice a day, I was able to schedule my nanny's hours around the naps. She would wake for the day at 6am, and was ready for a nap at 8:30. She always slept for at least 90 mins, so the nanny would arrive at 10. Then she'd go back down for an afternoon nap around 2:30, so the nanny would stay until 3 just to make sure she was settled. She'd wake up around 4:30. My boss was fine with that schedule (I never took a lunch).

You'll have to wait to see if your baby is a good sleeper, but this may work for you. If you have any colleges nearby, you may be able to hire a student to help you out part time. I did that on a few occasions when my nanny was out, and it worked out beautifully.

groovygrl · January 2014

Yeah, like the others have said, sorry, I mean this in the nicest possible way but...the 'rest of the world' does it by hiring child care... When you hear of people working from home, they're not doing it while also being the sole caretaker of the child. Maybe you can find a sitter or a SAH nearby or something, if even for half a day if you want to work the other half when your H is home and paying someone for those two days is a financial stress?? There are a lot of flexible options. nanny or sitter share is another idea, maybe someone else near you could use some child care twice a week.

Virgo17 · January 2014

Would your boss allow you to work on either Saturday or Sunday? DH could watch the baby on those days. You could then get a college kid to babysit just one day a week.

Everyone is right, you need childcare even for the days you are at home. Many days with a newborn, it feels impossible to shower and put on a load of laundry, let alone get in 8 hours of work.

jesuisfatiguee · January 2014

I'll be honest, I could have probably put in 8 hours worth of work those first three or so months. They wouldn't have all been during regular business hours, but the work would have gotten done. Once baby starts becoming more alert and interactive, though, you will definitely need help. But on the bright side, 2 days of daycare is generally muuuch cheaper than the full 5 days

Don't stress too much yet! You'll get it all sorted out

laurakaz13 · January 2014

Tess024 said:

I was literally in tears about this last night...

I'm due at the end of this month, and plan to go back to working full time in May after my maternity leave. Since daycare is SOO expensive, DH's mother has offered to take the baby 3 days a week, and I was going to work form home the other 2. This plan seemed all well and find until yesterday when I tried to talk to my boss about it...

She really wanted to help me, but she said that it would be almost impossible to dedicate working 8 hours during the day while trying to take care of an infant. I never even thought about that. I also can't imagine taking care of an infant all day until my husband comes home at 6, and then putting my 8 hours in from 6 until 2am.

I really have no idea what to do, and I'm freaking out because I have no idea how the rest of the world does it??? I feel like we should have thought this through more. Was this a mistake? I can't afford to stay at home, and we both need our jobs. I can't just work the 3 days his mother takes care of the baby, because then I would be P/T and lose my salary and all my benefits.

What have other people done in this situation?

Everyone in the world who works from home has childcare for their kids while they work. Can you afford to pay for two days of childcare while you work? It is absolutely NOT possible to WFH w/o full-time childcare those days.

iverske9 · January 2014

I work from home anywhere from 2-4 days a week (I am in sales so it changes weekly) and there is no way with a toddler, or a baby you can work at home and be productive. Can you find a sitter or a daycare for part time? My son goes to daycare during the week. Unfortunately a company is not going to pay you to basically be home watching a baby. I hope you find something and don't worry it will work out.

Maybride2 · January 2014

I'm so confused as to how you went through 8 months of pregnancy without thinking about this. How did you just realize that you can't afford to stay home but can't afford child care? We pay for childcare. Because our bosses won't pay us to take care of our kids. You've got a few months left (if you're taking a maternity leave) to find a daycare or babysitter - like others have said, an in-home daycare will likely be your best option.

NavyMom77 · January 2014

Another option is to check out local churches. I was looking for part-time care, too. Most of the larger centers don't offer PT for infants, but we found was a lovely nearby church that offers childcare. They were more flexible and offered very affordable rates for 1, 2, 3 or 5 days. I just went back this week and have been super happy.

Mrs_Lady · January 2014

I work PT as an HR Consultant and head to the client site 1 or 2 days a week. All other days I am home taking care of my 15 mos old. My schedule warrants that i can do this and it was best for me and my family to step down from a mgt position i held prior to mat leave.

Try to initiate a better arrangement or find a great childcare you are comfortable with.

Im debating seeking a FT position in the next few months as LO gets ready for preschool programs

Tess024 · January 2014

Thank you everyone for the suggestions!! I really appreciate it. Apparently I was 150% delusional about how much it takes to care for an infant (which scares the crap out of me). I really just figured he would nap, wake up, I could give him a bottle for 10 minutes, and then put him in his chair or swing while I worked until he fell asleep again. Please don't judge me

I do have a family member that is home in the mornings, so she has offered to take the baby, and I will just have to figure out the afternoons on those days. I work a 2nd job at a restuarant w/ a lot of college girls, so possibly someone will want to nanny.

NavyMom77 · January 2014

PP hit the nail on the head with "they are unreliable" - sorry, can't get quotes to work! Each baby is different and each day can be different. I just finished 3.5 months of maternity leave. I assumed DD would be just like DS was - good natured, liked to nap, content to just hang out. I had plans to finish several classes for my Masters Degree while at home. DD turned out to be a major cuddlebug, has some reflux issues making her fussy after eating, and an inconsistent napper. Very little schoolwork got done!

You're going to want to enjoy your little angel and feel like a productive employee and it's nearly impossible to do both at the same time. When I was worried about getting other things done at the same time as taking care of DD, I could get frustrated over the fact that it wasn't working out like I expected. I had to let go of everything I "thought" I was going to do and enjoy the time with my DD, then when DH or another set of cuddly arms were available for her I could focus on something else. ALL of us were much happier!

*sparky* · January 2014

Tess024 said:

Thank you everyone for the suggestions!! I really appreciate it. Apparently I was 150% delusional about how much it takes to care for an infant (which scares the crap out of me). I really just figured he would nap, wake up, I could give him a bottle for 10 minutes, and then put him in his chair or swing while I worked until he fell asleep again. Please don't judge me

I do have a family member that is home in the mornings, so she has offered to take the baby, and I will just have to figure out the afternoons on those days. I work a 2nd job at a restuarant w/ a lot of college girls, so possibly someone will want to nanny.

This sounds like a good option.

And no need to apologize - that's why you ask questions! Before my DS was born I really had no idea how all-consuming children can be at times. And really, it is just not fair to you to try to do everything at once - work and childcare. You will end up frazzled.

I have had days when I had to stay home with DS because he was sick or there was a snow day at school, but trying to get work done on those days is so exhausting because you are bouncing back and forth from kid to work back to kid all day long.

As hocus wrote, babies are only content to sit for so long. They need interaction, change of scenery, etc. and are on the move a few months after they are born. You will make yourself crazy if you are trying to work and meet your baby's needs all day.

laurakaz13 · January 2014

*sparky* said:

Tess024 said:

Thank you everyone for the suggestions!! I really appreciate it. Apparently I was 150% delusional about how much it takes to care for an infant (which scares the crap out of me). I really just figured he would nap, wake up, I could give him a bottle for 10 minutes, and then put him in his chair or swing while I worked until he fell asleep again. Please don't judge me

I do have a family member that is home in the mornings, so she has offered to take the baby, and I will just have to figure out the afternoons on those days. I work a 2nd job at a restuarant w/ a lot of college girls, so possibly someone will want to nanny.

And no need to apologize - that's why you ask questions! Before my DS was born I really had no idea how all-consuming children can be at times.

Neither did I! I was shocked after DD was born. Good luck, OP!

VitaLuna · January 2014

Tess024 said:
Thank you everyone for the suggestions!! I really appreciate it. Apparently I was 150% delusional about how much it takes to care for an infant (which scares the crap out of me). I really just figured he would nap, wake up, I could give him a bottle for 10 minutes, and then put him in his chair or swing while I worked until he fell asleep again. Please don't judge me

I do have a family member that is home in the mornings, so she has offered to take the baby, and I will just have to figure out the afternoons on those days. I work a 2nd job at a restuarant w/ a lot of college girls, so possibly someone will want to nanny.

I had a baby that would not let me put her down for MONTHS (we didn't have a swing early on, and that may have helped). Even now, at 4mos, I can only get a total of about 4 hrs of stuff done around the house on a good day.. 2 on a bad one. She also ate all day long for a while. If you truly can't afford two days of a babysitter, I really recommend you sit down and make some changes, sell things, etc.. Because 1-2 days is cheap in the grand scheme of baby expenses.

blushingbride_08 · January 2014

Maybe you can have a sahm watch your LO for the 2 days while you work from home and in return you can have a bartering system with the sahm. Maybe cook or clean for her during your days off. Or if you have a skill like doing hair, nails, etc.

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