Natural Birth

Intro and materials for husbands?

mrsmunziemrsmunzie member
edited January 2014 in Natural Birth
Hello everyone,

My name is Allison, 27, about to become a FTM. I'm pretty sure I want to have a natural childbirth, no epi or pain meds. I was 100%, but when I told my husband, his response shattered my confidence a bit saying he didn't think that would be the option I would choose. I know he will support whichever decision I make though so I'm trying to regain my confidence in my previous decision through education. I have already been perusing these boards and will continue to do so for information. Also, I have seen mention of one resource for husbands who plan to be the main support system during birth, but it was critiqued as being kind of hippie-ish which will probably turn my husband off to even trying to read it. Any resources that I can point him towards since he will most likely be my main support during labor and delivery would be greatly appreciated. 

Thanks! 

Edit: BTW I am due at the very end of May just FYI

Re: Intro and materials for husbands?

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  • Thanks @tndalles. I will definitely check that out. 
  • Honestly, one of the best things he can do to prepare himself and be at ease with your med-free birth is to talk to another dad who already went through it. My husband was tentatively supportive and pretty nervous about my choice for months; then one day he came home saying he'd gotten into a conversation with a coworker whose wife had a natural birth, and sudden my husband was excited and enthusiastic about it! He got a little flustered during labor (which is why I recommend a doula), but overall, he was my rock!
    "Can I call your baby 'Ze Munchkin,' or 'ZM' for short?" - my best friend
  • My husband didn't like the book Husband Coached Childbirth and was skeptical after our first Bradley class. He also didn't trust my tolerance for med free birth. However, he read a lot, got comfortable with the classes, ans supported me 100%. He was a great coach?
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  • I was worried my DH wouldn't be on board.  His father is a doctor, and his mom is a nurse, so he had the potential to be turned off by anti-OB and anti-hospital stuff that can surround natural birth information.  We went through the Bradley course, which is 12 weeks of prep and focuses on husband-coached childbirth, and that was great for him.  It helped him understand my choice.  And we met a lot of friends through the class, which was an added benefit.

    DH also read Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, which reiterated what we learned in class.

    I don't know about your DH, but getting my DH to read stuff can be like pulling teeth, so we watched the Business of Being Born together (I think it's on Netflix).  It clearly has a bias, but it helped DH understand my concern about being in a baby factory hospital and my concern about the cascade of interventions.  It helped open up a discussion for us.  Although, be warned that DH has never forgiven me because Ricki Lake is naked in it :) 
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  • I had epidurals with my first two and told DH I wanted to go med-free with number 3.  He really couldn't believe I would want to do that.  He told me it wasn't a matter of me not being able too, he was just concerned that I'd be uncomfortable and in pain and he didn't understand why I wanted that.  I explained my reasons and got him onboard with the doula.  Meeting the doula, asking her questions, and having her guide him during L&D was really helpful, he also liked to remind me about my relaxation clues and kept asking me if I wanted the relaxation CDs during transition :)  In the end, he delivered the baby on the bed since the doctor didn't make it on time and he couldn't have been happier with how things turned out
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  • mb314 said:
    I don't know about your DH, but getting my DH to read stuff can be like pulling teeth, so 
    ^^ this!!
    I have been asking my DH to read Natural Childbirth the Bradley way for a couple weeks now, he says he is but I believe he is just skimming.  Is there a video or something that we can watch that details the different positions and relief techniques?
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  • I had a natural birth in November, amazing experience! Anyway how I got my husband into it was I told him (since he loves football and coaching) to pretend that he's a coach during labor. I told him he'd need to be supportive and positive, and to not let me fail. Well it worked! He was awesome--he directed me (along with my midwife) and made sure everything was taken care of; and honestly, birthing without meds was not that bad! So I suggest finding something that he's into, and work it into your birthing experience. When he's excited about "the big day" or umm.. "game?" his energy and positivity will motivate you through it!
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  • I will ditto the suggestion of the book 'The Birth Partner'. It has a ton of information for a coach/husband and it is not hippie-ish. 

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