Do I really have to be the one to bring up circumcision?

candrew05 · January 2014

Since dating DH I've known he feels strongly about circumcising. We are team blue and within minutes of finding out he was already declaring we'd circumcise. I really don't feel strongly either way about it and feel comfortable leaving it up to DH.

pandadair · January 2014

typeset said:

TaylorHam86 said:

ETA: I did notice at my OB yesterday that they have a big flyer up saying if you want your boy to be circumcised, you have to pay the OB office $200 prior to being 37 weeks and the hospital charges an additional $25. So that's one other thing for us to consider.

This really bugs me. OBs are not experts on tiny penis and shouldn't be doing circs. Pediatric urologist, pediatrician, mohel--sure.

@typeset Unless it's this mohel.

Bootsie327 · January 2014

Rocknroll64 said:

If we have a boy we're going to circumcise him. I kind of left that decision up to my husband as I don't really have any strong opinions about it.

We are having a boy, and are circumcising. Same for me about my DH. In my case, he's Jewish and that's kinda their jam. We're not having a Bris though, it'll just be done by a doctor. I think there are pros and cons to both sides and it's whatever you're comfortable with for your kid.

typeset · January 2014

pandadair said:
@typeset Unless it's this mohel.

There's always one.

mileswithmyles · January 2014

I didn't have a preference, but DH is Jewish and it is important to him that we keep with tradition. Good luck! I know these things are hard to decide.

aforst · January 2014

My OB performed both circs. She did a great job. I'm no sure why OB's can't be trained to do circs.

sisterjanet · January 2014

I was thinking kind of like @pandadair as I was reading through the responses. I know there are places that female circumcision has been an automatic traditional thing but that the health and human rights organizations are trying to get it stopped. I wonder if there are conversations like this in those places, like if some of the people say "We plan to, so she'll match her mom."

I'm not trying to be a jerk or make anybody feel bad, just seriously wondering if this conversation is happening in places where the tradition is changing. Discussing it back and forth like this just reminded me of that.

ykristos · January 2014

sisterjanet said:

I was thinking kind of like @pandadair as I was reading through the responses. I know there are places that female circumcision has been an automatic traditional thing but that the health and human rights organizations are trying to get it stopped. I wonder if there are conversations like this in those places, like if some of the people say "We plan to, so she'll match her mom."

I'm not trying to be a jerk or make anybody feel bad, just seriously wondering if this conversation is happening in places where the tradition is changing. Discussing it back and forth like this just reminded me of that.

Reasons vary culturally, but female genital mutilation is typically more rooted in gender inequality, oppression, and controlling a woman's sexuality. I have a friend/colleague from Sierra Leone who, before the civil war began, was going to be forced to go the procedure as a pre-teen. So, there is the added issue that FGM typically happens later in life and is undeniably a much more traumatizing event than Western male circumcision.

MrsLeanna · January 2014

MH is Jewish, our son will be circumsized. No research necessary. We have never thought of not doing it. This is one of those subjects where people feel very strongly and get a bit judgey so you just have to do what works for you and your family, whatever that is.

pandadair · January 2014

ykristos said:

sisterjanet said:

I was thinking kind of like @pandadair as I was reading through the responses. I know there are places that female circumcision has been an automatic traditional thing but that the health and human rights organizations are trying to get it stopped. I wonder if there are conversations like this in those places, like if some of the people say "We plan to, so she'll match her mom."

I'm not trying to be a jerk or make anybody feel bad, just seriously wondering if this conversation is happening in places where the tradition is changing. Discussing it back and forth like this just reminded me of that.

Reasons vary culturally, but female genital mutilation is typically more rooted in gender inequality, oppression, and controlling a woman's sexuality. I have a friend/colleague from Sierra Leone who, before the civil war began, was going to be forced to go the procedure as a pre-teen. So, there is the added issue that FGM typically happens later in life and is undeniably a much more traumatizing event than Western male circumcision.

Very good points. I was comparing it to a potential daughter more for the "getting made fun of" and "keeping it clean" issue. I see no difference in altering body parts for those reasons just because it's a boy. Maybe a better, less loaded comparison is whether I would pin my child's dumbo ears because I thought they'd get made fun of later.

Madela09 · January 2014

DS didn't even wake up during his procedure, every experience is different. We had no issues afterward and he did not cry during diaper changes either. Good luck with your decision !

Kate070 · January 2014

I really don't understand the hygiene argument for circumcision. There are a lot of parts of the body that have nooks and crannies and extra things to work around, but we don't go around lopping off, say, parts of our ear, because it's a bit more to clean.

That's just the way I see it, but maybe there's an argument here I haven't heard.

deanna1313 · January 2014

We decided to have him circumcised. In fact, the dr already asked us if we would and logged it in my file. Didn't know we would be asked so early, but already decided anyway.

From working in a daycare I have changed a lot of diapers and that was the only time I've seen an uncircumcised one. Of course, there was like one for every one hundred boys or something like that. (I worked there for 12 years). The only issues that we had come across were circumsicions that weren't done correctly. A few boys had to go back in for surgery because it wasn't done correctly. Eek!

typeset · January 2014

aforst said:

My OB performed both circs. She did a great job. I'm no sure why OB's can't be trained to do circs.

They can be and things can turn out fine. The thing is they don't see the kids they cut for follow up. There's rarely feedback about them leaving too much skin, taking off too much resulting in painful erections down the road, etc. Botched jobs are 100% cosmetic to fix. Pediatric urologists, on the other hand, are well versed in the function of the foreskin and the anatomy involved.

Xath · January 2014

I left it entirely up to my husband because he knows way more about penises than I do, and I had no strong feelings on the subject.

At our hospital, they have a pediatric urologist on staff in the maternity ward, who performs all of the circumcisions at the hospital. If your pediatrician works at the hospital, they may also attend/follow-up, otherwise, they send a report to your pediatrician if they're located off site. Our insurance considers it an elective procedure, and covers all but a $150 copay.

dakota01 · January 2014

Both my boys are circumcised- the procedure went very well. My DH was with the boys both times and said neither one of them had any reaction, or traumatic experience. This little guy will also be circumcised. No opinion one way or the other- it's just how we do it.

KatieP71312 · January 2014

We circ'd our oldest and didn't cir our youngest. My oldest is 6, would absolutely say something about a difference if he noticed and he's never mentioned a word about why his brother looks different than him.

After a really traumatizing experience having it done on my oldest (delayed in the hospital for excessive bleeding when it is not supposed to bleed at all) we decided against it for future babies. If this little is a boy we will decline again.

Allibob · January 2014

ykristos said:

Reasons vary culturally, but female genital mutilation is typically more rooted in gender inequality, oppression, and controlling a woman's sexuality. I have a friend/colleague from Sierra Leone who, before the civil war began, was going to be forced to go the procedure as a pre-teen. So, there is the added issue that FGM typically happens later in life and is undeniably a much more traumatizing event than Western male circumcision.

Thank you. Female circumcision is a whole 'nother thing, more akin to removing the glans of the penis entirely. Generally, the clitoris is removed along with the labia, and the vagina may be cauterized or sewn shut. This ensures that a woman can be verified as a virgin before marriage, and removes the possibility of sexual pleasure so she won't go slutting around.

LindsayB0505 · January 2014

soylatte said:
You'll get a million answers on this. I agree the procedure is horrible. My husband is an MD, is circumcised, and has more reasons than not why he prefers circumcising baby. We will opt for the procedure.

Would you share what some of his reasons are?

ckandi007 · January 2014

I had no preference. DH is Jewish and we had a bris for our DS. The mohel who performed it is also a pediatrician. He used a local and topical anesthetic and DS didn't make one peep. It healed in about a week, but I couldn't watch and was bawling my eyes out.

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Do I really have to be the one to bring up circumcision?

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