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Just Venting...

mouserNYmouserNY member
in Working Moms
Hi Working Mommies...

I just found out from one of my co-workers that my boss is having a team planning meeting off site for basically our entire team with the exception of myself and one other person (that other person is transitioning over to our parent company).  I'm the office manager/executive assistant.  We are a small team with only 10 members.  The planning meeting is about business production.  The off site location is at my boss's vineyard in Napa Valley.  The team members are being provided with lovely accommodations in a nearby hotel.  I support the entire team and work with them on a daily basis.  Well that being said, I was not included on the e-mail my boss sent out regarding this meeting.  So my co-worker lets me know about this meeting because she received the e-mail about it and was concerned why I haven't been invited.  I send my boss an e-mail about the meeting, assuming possibly he forgot to include me on the group email, he has done that in the past.  Well he never responds, so I take upon myself to ask him.  He says, oh no only a few people were invited, it's not a meeting for everyone.  So now I'm expected to come into work on Monday and Tuesday during this team planning meeting and basically do nothing.  It's an utter waste of my time commuting to basically an empty office.  I'm so annoyed and pissed off.  If they are going to have a team building session than why would they not invite the entire team?  It doesn’t make sense to me, am I’m wrong for feeling this way??  The worst part of it all is that it appeared to be the biggest secret, I would not have known if it wasn't for my one co-worker. 
Me: 37, DH 40

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Re: Just Venting...

  • wychetswychets member
    Oh WOW! I would be livid. That's not right at all. I am sorry this is happening to you. Is there someone else you can talk to about this, I don't understand how this is fair in the workplace.
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  • mouserNYmouserNY member
    I am! I'm so upset!!! I wish there was someone I could talk to at work.  Our HR is in NY and while we are in CA.  It's so weird because my other co-worker who i generally like has not really been talkative about this secret meeting.  She mentioned once when she thought we were all invited.  When I told her it didn't make sense for me to come in to work on Monday or Tuesday, she was like oh you have to come into the office and ask our boss for a project to do perhaps...I was like oh no she didn't say that??? What a Bitch! I rarely curse but seriously.  I'm so annoyed :-(  my husband does not understand why I'm pissed, he's like just suck it up, you hate your job anyway and you'll leave it eventually.  But that's not the point.  I feel like 2nd class citizen at work and that's not right. 
    Me: 37, DH 40

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  • KayteeGeeKayteeGee member
    I have to be honest, in my company, the support staff wouldn't be included in business planning meetings ...
    I mean, I know it hurts to be left out, so I'm not trying to say youare "wrong" at all but just for some perspective, the support staff at my firm (who are INVALUABLE for sure!) wouldn't really have a role in strategic planning meetings for us, but there would still be things for them to do in the office while I was at a strategy meeting .... So if it was at my company the EAs and support staff would not be invited and would still be required to go to work...
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  • 82Sonia82Sonia member
    To echo KayteeGee, our support staff members aren't included in our planning meetings or even retreats.  However, I do think your boss handled your question poorly especially by not responding to your e-mail and being secretive about it.  I'm sure that made you feel much worse.  I'm sorry they made it feel personal instead of just business. 

     

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  • mouserNYmouserNY member
    edited January 2014
    Thanks for your responses. It's just that as a team in our office we all contribute to the productivity and all of us are licensed agents including myself. I work at a reinsurance firm, and we wear multiple hats. Our claims girl is attending the retreat too. I'm actually feeling better now that I left the office. I only continue to stay at this job because I'm working on my Anthropology PhD studies and it allows me flexibility, I get off work at 3pm and teach an evening course. I'll just keep at it until I'm finish with my doctorate.
    Me: 37, DH 40

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  • 82Sonia82Sonia member
    It sounds like you have a much better and cooler sounding job in the works.  A PhD? That is awesome!

     

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  • shannmshannm member
    That seems weird considering the size of your group. It's not like they decided not to pay for five or ten admins, just one. Seems like it was more work to exclude you than actually include you. Having said that, I am sure your boss doesn't consider you as engaged as possible if you are in grad school and have plans to leave.
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  • IblamethebeerIblamethebeer member
    mouserNY said:
    I am! I'm so upset!!! I wish there was someone I could talk to at work.  Our HR is in NY and while we are in CA.  It's so weird because my other co-worker who i generally like has not really been talkative about this secret meeting.  She mentioned once when she thought we were all invited.  When I told her it didn't make sense for me to come in to work on Monday or Tuesday, she was like oh you have to come into the office and ask our boss for a project to do perhaps...I was like oh no she didn't say that??? What a Bitch! I rarely curse but seriously.  I'm so annoyed :-(  my husband does not understand why I'm pissed, he's like just suck it up, you hate your job anyway and you'll leave it eventually.  But that's not the point.  I feel like 2nd class citizen at work and that's not right. 
    Is it possible she's trying to subtly clue you in on something you're not noticing?  What are the chances you are about to be laid off or receive a bad performance review or something?

    In my office someone always needs to be physically at the office (during business hours) in case a client calls or there's an emergency or whatever, so I can see  him wanting you to be there.  Is it really so bad to be expected to work the hours you've agreed to work for the pay you've agreed to receive?  Other than the fact that it will be boring... 


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  • thedashthedash member
    I'm shocked at how your boss handled this. Ignored your email and then lied when you brought it up!? That would make me really angry. Just try to use Monday and Tuesday to catch up on little unfinished projects that nag at you or get things organized. And treat yourself to some Starbucks or a really good lunch.
    DS: 2/17/11          DD: 9/4/13
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  • daisy662daisy662 member
    I often have planning and other types of meetings where my admins are not included. I certainly don't know your circumstances, but keep in mind you could be overreacting a bit. If I'm having a meeting, I don't tell the people who aren't invited that I'm having a meeting, I just have it. P.S. I'm an HR Exec...
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  • sugarbear0524sugarbear0524 member
    Speaking as an administrative assistant, I sometimes wish those in higher positions would recognize the fact that the admins know as much (or more) about what is really going on in the organization as they do. With that being said, I don't think I would expect to be invited.
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