Updated at bottom-So pissed- need support on IVF vent

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

So, three and a half years ago I weighed 232 pounds- yep, over weight. But, I have a large frame (I'm big boned dammit!!! Seriously though, 7 inch wrist, yes, large frame) and I'm 5'11"- so I'm a freaking Amazon woman and I don't have a belly or wings when I wave and my doctor waived the high BMI because of my frame and he could tell I'm not obese. Fast forward to now, after baby, I'm 210. We just got our new contract and they want to charge me $2,558 dollars additional to the freaking 20 grand already because of high BMI!!! WTeverlovingF-ity-F-F?!?!?!?!?! Are you kidding me?!?!?!???? I got on the phone and email and since I have a call in phone appointment w doctor about husband's test results (same doctor as three and a half years ago!!!) at 4pm today (T minus 1 hour 45 minutes) he will talk to me about it then. But seriously, why the hell do I go to the gym? Why the hell do I watch what I eat??? Yeah, yeah, I want to be around for my kids, but eff me!!! Double standard in the arse!!! Please asplain this to me!!!

sailorgal · January 2014

Oh no, that's rough....hopefully when you talk to the doctor, they'll waive the additional fee for you.

annibes · January 2014

Oh, wow. Yeah- definitely have a chat with the doctor. Hopefully they will be willing to waive that fee!

freakyfast · January 2014

I am sorry... I didn't even realize there was such a thing.... Seems like something they would talk to you before hand. And what is that money supposed to cover? That doesn't make any sense.

Jeffreysmom24 · January 2014

Wow, that is crazy - I hope you can get the fee waived! We can't afford IVF so I can understand how an additional fee on top of everything would be tough! Good luck!

Jen071407 · January 2014

Ugh that stinks! Fx you can talk to your RE and make it go away!

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

Seriously!!! What is that fee going to cover???? Not like I'm going to break their table with my fat arse!!! And really! They should have mentioned this!!! Apparently not an issue for FET!

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

So... Yeah...
Apparently the last one was a special program, a delivery guarantee only one cycle and all FET that went with it or money back if no baby. THIS program is 6 fresh cycles with all FETs that go with until baby or money back. So they are being more stringent in their protocol. But he agreed with me that he didn't think I was an issue last time I wouldn't be now weighing less and the fact that I have a large frame and after shots and hormones and cycles I actually ballooned up to 256 (AUGH!!!) when I got my positive w dd that being 46lbs less now this shouldn't be an issue, but he has to make that recommendation to the board and they have to approve it and then they will let me know by the end of the week.
Also, turns out that ICSI IS NOT included in this package, so that is another $3,000+!!! Eff me!!! If they don't waive the BMI BS, that us another $5,500 we didn't plan for and can't cover! So I might have cleared out my account for nothing... I'm so stressed today!!!

Jeffreysmom24 · January 2014

Oh no!! Sorry to see this update! I will keep my fingers crossed for you. I hope that the board will approve the waiver of that ridiculous fee!

pettycrocker · January 2014

Ok this is crazy, never heard any shit like this before. I am overweight and my RE never even batted an eyelash. My OB used to bust my balls, but like I say all the time- the OBs business is taking care of the baby when it's already in there, the RE's business is taking our money for what's supposed to be free anyway, and this shit sounds so ludicrous. You're a *little* overweight, you're not fucking morbidly obese. Is there another RE in your area? This just seems so shady.

2nd- do you absolutely have to have ICSI? Even if sperm count is an issue, then can throw 100 sperm in a bucket with an egg (obviously it's not a bucket.. maybe it's a petri dish? Honestly IDFK where they throw them) and they will get that shit done. I know because out of my 5 that fertilized it was exactly a 50/50 (2/2) split, with 1 remaining (natural) that fertilized a day late. But I mean, if you have to have it then I guess you should count on paying for it

This is a lot to think about! I am sorry you are dealing with this. IF is stressful enough, but hitting these fucking roadblocks is what makes this shit really unbearable.

pettycrocker · January 2014

Momarazzi007 said:

Seriously!!! What is that fee going to cover???? Not like I'm going to break their table with my fat arse!!! And really! They should have mentioned this!!! Apparently not an issue for FET!

LOL this makes me laugh, because YEA that is exactly how they are making it seem? There is absolutely no fucking research supporting it being more difficult to get a fat person knocked up UNLESS their BMI is crazy like over 50 or some other ridiculous number (bed ridden)

You have every right to be fucking pissed about this!!

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

Thank-you!!! Seriously! Now I'm in limbo waiting on their subjective decision. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

So they talked about it (like I believe that) and decided that because my BMI is between 25-29.5 range, they have to charge me for being over weight. I got that email and just burst into tears. Every time I turn around there is another road block and another punishment for me for my husband's infertility. I'm so fucking sick of it.

freakyfast · January 2014

I just don't understand what the extra money is for? Do they say what that is for? That doesnt make sense. I am sorry hun (((HUGS)))

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

Oh and my period is being retarded. Had some minor spotting started that I blame KC1212 for putting something in water and making everyone's cycle off, but turned out to be very small bit of brown discharge and now my period is two days late? Should have been here yesterday. Got hopes up and took test- bfn, but wasn't hopeful anyway

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

"He (doctor) conducted a literature review looking at impact of weight on delivery rates with IVF and discussed with the physician group. The evidence from large studies has been consistent in finding a lower pregnancy rate per cycle with a BMI 25-29.9, therefore there is a premium above the standard cost for Delivery Promise. He couldn’t find data to support an argument for waiving this."

Jeffreysmom24 · January 2014

Ugh!! I am so sorry to see your update.

I wish there was something I could say but this really sucks!

freakyfast · January 2014

What are you going to do?

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

I responded back:
"I am very sorry to hear this. As this puts an additional financial burden on us we have to now reconsider finances and find a way to come up with the additional few thousand dollars. It is painful to have to have another block in our way and I feel like I- the one with zero fertility issues is being penalized and punished for my husband's. We will get back to you as soon as we can.

Very respectfully,"

Probably handled that wrong, but I just got slapped in the face, that was all the niceness I had to give.

Jen071407 · January 2014

I'm sorry

Is a different RE an option?

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

My husband was like whatever, we'll pay it, what's a few thousand more at this point. I was like, it's a few thousand we don't have. I don't know. My 401k was not covering the full thing, but we were going to finance the rest or pay it off with dh's bonus. This just makes us have to go, ok, let's figure this out. We'll just have to dig harder to pull it from somewhere out of our butts... Maybe because apparently my butt is that big they think I'm hiding extra cash up there???

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

We looked at other REsand they were either slightly more expensive or assload more expensive. We had success with this one and thought they dd what worked, were there for history, keep continuity because of all if it

KC1212 · January 2014

Momarazzi007 said:
Oh and my period is being retarded. Had some minor spotting started that I blame KC1212 for putting something in water and making everyone's cycle off, but turned out to be very small bit of brown discharge and now my period is two days late? Should have been here yesterday. Got hopes up and took test- bfn, but wasn't hopeful anyway

Sorry! Lol.

I'm STILL FREAKING SPOTTING. I realized I've more or less been non-stop bleeding since DEC 14th.

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

Oh wow that is just awful! I guess I can't complain about a week!!! You ok?

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

So, just got a bill from my IVF place which on top of all the other crap, were charging me over $500 for freaking bloodwork and then another $70 for embryo storage. Hello? FET failed we have no embryo in storage and the bloodwork was covered in that failed FET contract. Did I mention failed? So my husband told me to call them up. I'm home with sick dd and have been battling finances w these buttheads
all week. He left work early to come home and play a freakjng video game. Wrong day to go there! I told him that, a little more colorfully...

and finished with he doesn't get punished or have to do anything for this he could at least do this one thing for us because every time I talk to them I get a fat tax and in tears. So he called them up and they were all yes sir we will fix that right away sir! That never happens w me. It really burns me that was a two minute call. So figuring out finances going to this fresh cycle I figure we are about $8,000 short. Between my fat tax and the stupid ICSI it just added up- without those we figured we'd be about 2k shirt and with his bonus in Feb we'd be good to go. Now because of those... I'm lost. Got the check today for 401k, which otherwise would have been so exciting, on to sign contract right?, but knowing we are sitting here trying to find that much more? Maybe I'm being told not to have anymore kids. I keep crying and I'm just a wreck the last few days. I need to hibernate and come out when everything is a little nicer.

Jen071407 · January 2014

Hugs girl

freakyfast · January 2014

Sorry... ((HUGS))

Spookster · January 2014

That is some BS!

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

Thanks all, it makes it better that I can talk to you all. Keeps me from kidney punching.

jaminjeff · January 2014

I'm so sorry. That is way too much for one person to have to deal with.

jstrat53 · January 2014

I wish you had another RE to go to and you could just say SCREW YOU to your current RE. So sorry you have to go through all that BS.

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

Thanks, me too. If money weren't an issue, as pissed as I am, I think I'd still stick with them, I really believe in them and I guess that is what really matters. I'm just tired of getting another bill, another charge, another slap in the face. To tell me I'm at risk for possibly not getting pregnant after 6 fresh cycles and all the FETs that we'd have embryos for, especially when it only took one for dd (not to mention an ectopic which they counted as positive pregnancy and dd had twin that only didn't make it bc she was growing so fast and they attached so close on the wall that the twin was basically pushed off wall and caused a subchorionic hemorrhage so three babies super technically). I don't know. It is super selfish if me to feel like I have no problems with infertility bc of the mfi- I don't do that to feel superior or please don't think I'm delusional. My fertility is the only thing that keeps me going and even after seven years of trying and IVF and FETs, I have never waivered in my belief it would happen. So fast to blame it on stress when it didn't work the two cycles of FET they didn't take (lost my job during one and the other this past November who knows). I have to believe I can do it, I have to look past everything- telling my husband and being strong. I think the hardest part of the "fat tax" is that I'm not super woman, and even though I eat right, workout, blah blah blah, maybe despite my best efforts my BMI is too high for it to be that easy. Again, it isn't that high, 26- but now I have that doubt. And that is what kills me. Instead of thinking about how I am good to go and the doctors believe in me- I am thinking I am at risk for going through 6 fresh cycles and all the FETs with them and not getting pregnant. Which means starting out I'm thinking "this won't work" instead of "I got this!" All you need is one seed of doubt. And man does it get out of control so fast! Now this is just one more thing infertility is taking away from us. I'll never know that shock and excitement from a left field inkling I might be pregnant and poas w a BFP. My first inkling when I have an AF delay is "eff me, am I going anovulatory? What else could happen..." So many other things, I know we all have a list. Ok, I'm going to stop my pity party, but at least I got it out. Thank-you for listening.

annibes · January 2014

I'm pretty sure you're due to catch a break here any time now. I can't believe how much crap you've had to deal with this week! HUGS

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Updated at bottom-So pissed- need support on IVF vent

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