How to stop worrying about miscarriage???

FloridaSun82 · January 2014

Let me first say that it's a little too early for me to move to this board. I'm active on the infertility board and had my first positive beta last Thursday. I go in on Monday for my second beta. However, I can not stop thinking about miscarrying. I keep preparing myself for the call that my beta has gone down or is not as high as it should be, and I'm beginning to worry that I'm jinxing myself (or have some kind of intuition). I think that I am just so used to things going wrong and not working as they should that I can't yet accept the possibility of this being right. Anyone else feel this way?

kzawisl · January 2014

I think everyone on PAIF and SAIFeill tell you we ALL felt/feel this way. You get a BFP on a HPT, but you're convinced it is a false positive. Then you get a positive beta, and you worry it won't double. Then it doubles and you schedule your first u/s and you worry there won't be a heartbeat. Then you worry that the NT screening will show something abnormal. Them maybe at some point you spot/bleed and you're convinced it's over (but it's not!! Everything is fine!).
But guess what...then that beautiful baby is born, and you worry about 10 million other crazy things.

Congrats on your BFP. My advice is to enjoy every day--wake up every morning and tell yourself, "today, I am pregnant. And that is amazing."

TJ1979 · January 2014

What she said. Also remember that all the worrying in the world won't change anything. You can't jinx anything. Try to stay positive and limit your stress to make a nice cozy environment for LO. You might find more girls in your shoes over on PAIF. Hugs and GL!

pb_bride · January 2014

Congratulations. I was like that throughout my whole pregnancy. Wish I had a magic answer for you! Just try to stay positive and keep yourself busy with other things. GL!

Dragonfly1226 · January 2014

First I want to say congratulations on your BFP! I definitely felt the same way when I got pregnant with DS. I had two missed m/c prior to that pregnancy and had convinced myself that I would probably never have a successful pregnancy. I literally went to every u/s before 13 weeks in tears because I had convinced myself that the baby had stopped growing. It didn't help that I had bright red spotting throughout the first tri. I wish I had a magic formula to make the fear go away. Unfortunately, I think IF conditions us to always expect the worst. So my best advice is to keep telling yourself that today you are pregnant and that is something to be happy about. For me, every milestone put me a little more at ease. We saw a HB at 6 weeks, still strong at 8 weeks and again at 9 weeks, a good NT scan at 12 weeks, movement... Every milestone was a celebration. Wishing you a very happy and healthy nine months hon. I hope to see you feeling confident enough to start posting regularly here very soon!

marnief · January 2014

kzawisl said:

My advice is to enjoy every day--wake up every morning and tell yourself, "today, I am pregnant. And that is amazing."

Oh my goodness, I'm so glad I'm not crazy. I've been searching for a forum for women who got pregnant via IF treatment because I am so scared that something will go wrong. Had my first-ever BFP on 23 Dec (12 days after our 4th IUI), positive beta at 15 dpiui which more than doubled by 17 dpiui, now waiting for u/s at 6w2d this coming Friday. And I am so paranoid at every step. Kzawisl, what you said just may become my new mantra. I'm so glad to have found this forum. Congrats to you, FloridaSun - best wishes for all to go well!

FloridaSun82 · January 2014

Thank you all so much! It is very refreshing to not feel crazy. My DH and mother seem to think there's something wrong with me for not wanting to shout it from the rooftops yet...

imoverit · January 2014

Id love to know the answer to this. Im 25 weeks pregnant with #2 and still worry about a loss. The girls on these boards are very helpful in easing worries. Congrats on your BFP.

KISSIES · January 2014

Congrats on your BFP. I had a missed miscarriage in past and currently having bright red spotting for a week not pelvic pain. I'm such a wreck all my betas were great but when the red bleeding began , I can't get over it. No matter how many people or dr's say it's normal. I'm going insane and they couldn't fit me for ultrasound till almost 8 weeks! Best of luck to you!

itsmevkb · January 2014

It's almost impossible not to worry. What kept me sane, especially after my miscarriages, was telling myself that worrying wasn't going to change anything. I was doing everything within my power to have a good pregnancy and that was all I could do. I could worry and be miserable or I could try and go about my life and be happy that at least in that instant I was pregnant.

Carolina Blue Skies · January 2014

I can definitely relate to how you feel! Every appointment I worry that something is wrong & every day in between, I have these fears & anxiety over miscarrying. I know I should believe & have faith, but when it has been taken away from me so many times, it's hard to get it back. I wish I had some advice since I'm in a similar boat as you. I am trying to keep myself busy at work & at home. That was much easier during the holidays with so much going on. Returning to work after the holidays certainly hasn't helped!

galaxymom830 · January 2014

PPs have had some great advice. I wish there was a magical way to turn off the IF brain and stop the worrying. But when it's something you've wanted for longer than you can remember, it's hard to turn off the part that is terrified of losing what you've worked so hard to obtain.

Congrats on your BFP! Just remember that no matter what happens now, there's not a whole lot you can do. Just try to enjoy it as much as you can... though, I know that's easier said than done

Good luck!

mcgeeva · January 2014

Congrats! Just like OP said it never really goes away. You just hope for the best and try to tell yourself that all is well unless something happens and what is meant to be will happen. I like to think at least that once you get to 12 weeks your chances of mc go down some so that will ease your mind a little bit. I guess it's what keeps us dying waiting to get to our next apt to hear the heart beat or see our babies on the u/s. Good luck!

KayteeGee · January 2014

OP - you're not alone. I'm almost 6w and I'm trying so hard not to freak out about not having another u/s until monday...

Millie1984 · January 2014

I think everyone on PAIF and SAIFeill tell you we ALL felt/feel this way. You get a BFP on a HPT, but you're convinced it is a false positive. Then you get a positive beta, and you worry it won't double. Then it doubles and you schedule your first u/s and you worry there won't be a heartbeat. Then you worry that the NT screening will show something abnormal. Them maybe at some point you spot/bleed and you're convinced it's over (but it's not!! Everything is fine!).
But guess what...then that beautiful baby is born, and you worry about 10 million other crazy things.
Congrats on your BFP. My advice is to enjoy every day--wake up every morning and tell yourself, "today, I am pregnant. And that is amazing."

This describes how I felt my pregnancy to a "T".

ETA: quote fail

marnief · January 2014

I made this on a post-it and put it in my phone case (folded in half so nobody else will see it since we aren't telling just yet...)

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