FET scheduled.... (long vent)

ccam · January 2014

So I started Lupron on Christmas Eve for FET #2.2 and had my baseline this morning (finally!). All looks good and transfer is set for 1/30!

So of course, I do the whole due date calculator thing and IF this works, I'd be due 10/18 (yay - DH's birthday!)

Oh and I also found out on Saturday that my sister is 99% sure her wedding will be 2.5 hours away on.... 10/17...........

WHY?!?! I'm obviously already into the cycle and I'm going to continue with it. I knew going forward with this cycle that she was hoping for a wedding in late fall, but nothing was set in stone and I can only hold off on my own life for so long! We've started back with the RE in August, and after FET #1 resulted in a c/p and FET #2 was canceled, we didn't want to hold off for something we didn't know for certain. But could the timing be any worse?

I don't even know the point of this post - a vent? But DH doesn't get it and I can not stop thinking about this - it's driving me insane! Like I'm doing something wrong by going forward. We're not telling family so I can't even talk to my Mom about it. I watched her try on dresses on Saturday and just sat there thinking "I might not be there!". And this is all if this cycle even works, which it very well may not! I hate IF even more because it just makes me over think everything. Sorry...now I'm rambling!

ETA: This probably sounds so stupid and petty to some of you, but it bothers me so much

TJ1979 · January 2014

Oh ccam. Huge fu to if for you. That is such terrible timing. But you are not selfish for going forward. If you got KU on your own, no one would dare question your timing. I don't see how this is any different. You aren't doing anything wrong. I know it would be heartbreaking to miss your sister's wedding. But it will be worth it for another squish in your arms. And maybe things will work out just fine somehow.
FX for you and for this cycle. Hugs!

phishgirl29 · January 2014

((Hugs)) you're not being selfish. Like TJ said, things have a way of working out. FX to you on this cycle!

Mrs.AmyDylan · January 2014

Oh @ccam, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you can't focus good energy on your upcoming transfer when you are panicked about the due date and wedding.

I'm sorry that you found out too late to change your cycle.

I'm sorry that you cant just jump your hubby, go at it like rabbits and get a little bunny like normal people. Huge hugs.

JBDamonM · January 2014

HUGE HUGS.

I have been having a REALLY hard time lately balancing my family (sisters and mom) with my immediate family (DH and daughter)..... LEt me tell you my mantra that helps me get through it. "I am a mother and wife first and a daughter and sister second." It may sound harsh, but it's true.

You're doing nothing wrong - like TJ said - if you got KU naturally, no one would bat an eye.

That being said, two suggestions to maybe make it easier on you, b/c the last thing you want is to get all stressed and tense over this when you're going into the cycle. --- I don't know everything about FET's but is it possible to push it back just a week to help with the overlap? and 2 - if it really bothers you, I would consider telling your sister. Let the ball be in her court. If she wants you there badly enough let her pick a different date. I know that may sound mean, but I think it's true.... if the date is not set in stone yet, she still has wiggle room.

And refresh my memory - am I making this up or were you a c-section last time? if so will you be a c-section again? I ask, b/c thjis could give you some control on a date as well.

Good luck.....

mcgeeva · January 2014

I get it stinky situation. No one wants to put their lives on hold so it makes it tough. And with weddings you will obviously be in it which just means it will be a hit or miss if you can attend. Eek really tough. Maybe instead you can be part of the wedding but not in the bridal party? That way your not worrying about fitting into a dress you may or may not wear etc.

boymomstrong · January 2014

I am really sorry, i would agree with pp that maybe talking to your sister can help, i have a real good friend who wants to get married in august and as i cant make a flight that late in my pregnancy she is considering a may or june wedding bc its thats important to her that i be there... Maybe your sister feels the same way! September or november are still beautiful fall weddings!

Good luck!

PennyLane26 · January 2014

First, my DH's bday is 10/18, too!

Second, (((hugs))) that's such a b*otch of a situation. DO NOT feel guilty, though! Like PP said, if it happened spontaneously no one would say a word!

Also, who knows! You could deliver 2 weeks earlier or a week later, so don't count yourself out!

Ditto a few others, are you super close with your sis? My sister is my BFF, if I was in the same boat I would tell her in private and ask her to keep it between you two.

ccam · January 2014

Thanks ladies!!

If I was already pregnant, I would definitely talk to her and I'm sure she'd try and change it. But I just can't ask her to change her wedding date because of something that might not even happen, you know? I totally get what you're saying but with everything she's gone through to finally come to a place and date, I couldn't do it!

But yes, @JBDamonM, I did have a c section and will have another one. So one plus is that I'll be scheduled! Unless I'm in the hospital, I'm going to do everything I can to be there. But I'll probably have to step down as her maid of honor (I'm one of 2 with our other sister) but I'll do as much as I can to help.

Ugh....just sucks!

ccam · January 2014

@PennyLane26 Yes we are close. There are 4 of us and we all are. But she's the middle child and I feel like she never gets the spot light, I guess you'd call it. So much stuff has been about me as the oldest and I want her to have this time. And to have her change it for me....I don't know!! Maybe I'm overthinking this all.

imoverit · January 2014

Not stupid or petty at all. IF makes you think things differ than others IMO. Im super excited for your transfer and think its a great sign that the due date is on YHs bday. GL girlie. You deserve this. Everything crossed for you!!

mdiblasi10 · January 2014

I am sorry about the timing. Hopefully everything works out and you are able to make it! I know my OB schedules repeat c-sections at 39 weeks so maybe that will give you enough time. IF always seems to mess with something, huh?! Hugs.

Mnerani · January 2014

I totally understand this. I scheduled my wedding around my little sister's due date and I wasn't bitter about it one bit. I bet your sis wouldn't be either. I think the odds would be good that you could attend the wedding if it's only 2.5 hours away. It might be really uncomfortable (if you're super pregnant or have a very young LO) but it's definitely a possibility. My sis was my MOH at 37 weeks pregnant and she drove 3 hours to the wedding. She just said that if she felt any contractions at all, she'd head straight home.

I'm sorry about the possibility of crappy timing, but I think it's definitely worth doing the cycle!!

ccam · January 2014

Thanks again ladies! I think it just makes me feel better to talk it out, especially since I'm not telling family or many other people that we're going back for #2. I appreciate it!

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