TTC Check-In

StacyLH24 · January 2014

Good morning! Please share with us how your TTC journey is going and how you are doing.

QOTW: If you could go back and give your pre-TTC self any advice, what would it be?

StacyLH24 · January 2014

I'm putting off getting ready for work, so I will get us started.

I posted a thread on Friday regarding our situation, but I will give a recap today.

I had 6 mature follicles on Friday morning. As a result, we cancelled our cycle. My RE said that he was very concerned that we would end up with triplets or more if we went through with it. C and I had already agreed that if four or more were mature, we would cancel.

We did discuss switching to IVF for the cycle. We decided not to because there were only 6 follicles. My RE would like to see more for an IVF cycle and I agree with him.

Our next decision was what to do for the next cycle. We can try Gonal-F again and decrease it earlier on or move to IVF. Part of me was sold on IVF. Part of me said we should give IUI at least one more go. We have three vials, we might as well use them.

So, we have decided to do two more IUI cycles with Gonal-F. If those don't work, then we will move to IVF with our third vial.

Now, we just wait for CD 1 again.

QOTW: I always had an inkling that I might have a hard time getting pregnant. I would confirm this for my pre-TTC self. I would tell myself to be patient as the road I imagined would not be the road of reality. I would tell myself to move forward no matter what.

healz413 · January 2014

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks because I have found this board to tough for me as someone dealing with infertility.
But we are starting our IVF cycle, so I think I will at least do the TTC check-in if it can be a place where people don't post BFPs.

Today is cycle day 2 for me and I'm in the clinic waiting to get my Lupron from the nurses.

I will take birth control for two weeks. During the second week I will also do Lupron. Once I get a period after BCPs, I will go in on day 2 of my cycle for a suppression check and to start stims that day or the next. I will continue Lupron the whole time. I will be stimming with bravelle 300 and menopur 150.
Estimated egg retrieval is February 4-6 with a hopefully 5 day transfer into @manada.

@manada has been on BCPs and will continue for 9 more days. Then she will get a period and go in on day 2 for a suppression check and to start estrace.

QOTD: I don't know. I think we had to go through this journey to get to where we are now ...

GoaliesWife123 · January 2014

@healz413 I completely understand why you need to take a break. It is difficult for me as well.

AFM, I posted yesterday but because of the snow, my doctor's office is closed for the day. I called to leave them a message begging them for an appointment tomorrow so that I can get my referral. If I don't get the referral by Wednesday, I might be in trouble. I think my blood work will be covered, but I'm not sure because the order is from the RE. If I don't get the blood work, we are still going forward with the rest of the plan.

I am making my appointments (when I get a call back from the RE) for the clomid ultrasound and the sonohysterogram as well.

We're very excited to get moving this month, but we are just a little stressed until we get that referral in hand.

QOTW: I feel like I wouldn't change anything. We did A LOT of research and prepared for nearly a year before we started trying. We never would have started ttc if our relationship wasn't rock solid, and it has proven to be even stronger than we thought it was! I wouldn't change anything.

StacyLH24 · January 2014

@healz413 - I completely agree with and support BFPs not being posted here. I struggle lately with being super happy and excited for newly pregnant folks an also jealous and a bit sad.

After all of our decision making on Friday, and disappointment, I got on FB and the first thing I saw was a post from one of C's cousin and his girlfriend. They are younger than us and already have one child. She posted that they are 15 weeks with their second. She didn't even know she was pregnant. What I wouldn't give for that.

I have also recently seen others get pregnant easily and then proceed to tell me to keep going because it will be worth it to get that BFP. I just want to shout that you have no idea what it is like if it worked the first time for you. I know people usually mean well, it just doesn't come across that way at times.

I'm having a major down day. Sorry if this was too much of a downer/angry post. I don't enjoy feeling the way I am, but right now I am just letting it be.

healz413 · January 2014

StacyLH24 said:

. Sorry if this was too much of a downer/angry post. I don't enjoy feeling the way I am, but right now I am just letting it be.

I'm glad you shared. It is easy to feel like no one else understands infertility. But in addition to the several pregnant folks and new parents who dealt with infertility for months and years before, there are more of us currently TTC and dealing with infertility than we often realize. I tend to forget this until I share here about how infertility is affecting me and my participation on the board and then others, like you and @goalieswife123, comment and I feel less alone.

And I agree about the excitement for the folks we know on the board who get pregnant and about the jealousy and sadness. And then in addition to the regulars and semi-regulars who have recently gotten pregnant, there has been a recent influx of pregnant people joining the board. Of cousre that makes sense (it is a board on "the bump" afterall), but I have left it to the pregnant folks and the parenting folks to welcome them.

Finally, I didn't comment on the posts themselves, but I'm sorry to hear about your cancelled cycle. Cancelled cycles suck soooo much! I think you made a smart choice, though! Good luck!

Baileyhugs · January 2014

My journey still continues... I will be trying at home insemination again starting Wednesday. I'm trying to not think about it and stay positive at the same time. My fingers are crossed for a new year to be a new beginning. @stacylh24 : I also logged onto Facebook one day to find 3 people in my news feed posting thOeir newly announced pregnany. I also recieved a text from my best friend saying she was 6wks along. At times I find it difficult to be so happy for everyone else when I have put so much time and effort into trying to get pregnant to end up with a negative test each month. QOTW: the on,y thing I would change is to start charting earlier. I was amazed at how many signs your body gives you to let you know it's time to try.

rkbo · January 2014

Hey all, I'm pretty new here. Next weekend should be our first attempt at the baby makin.

Is anyone else's RE monitoring their fertility by ultrasound alone? I don't have to temp or chart, she says that doing ultrasounds is more accurate. Is anyone else doing that too? Would you find that to be accurate?

StacyLH24 · January 2014

Welcome @rkbo. I have not charted at all. All of my monitoring previous to this most recent cycle was done through ultrasound. When it comes to making sure that you have ovulated and coming up to it, I think charting might be helpful. If you are going to trigger ovulation with Ovidrel, then it isn't necessary.

Good luck. I hope it all goes well.

healz413 · January 2014

Hi @rkbo, does your RE also doing blood work. If you're not taking ovidrel or HCG to trigger ovulation when your follicle(s) is(are) mature, you will need something to tell the RE that you're about to ovulate. Most people look to see a surge in the LH (luteinizing hormone) to signal that ovulation is coming. RE's generally detect this through blood work. (It's also what ovulation predictor kits measure). So, if your RE is using blood work and ultrasounds, you should be all set. That's all we do with our RE. No temping.

rkbo · January 2014

On Friday I went in for an ultrasound on my 3rd day of my cycle. They scheduled me to come back this Friday the 10th for another u/s, and if i am "ready" they will insem on sat & sun. If I am not ready yet, I will go back in on Monday the 13th for another u/s and insem tue & wed. My RE did say that she prefer's to trigger, so I will probably do that.

healz413 · January 2014

Given what you're describing about being ready, I assume she is planning to use a trigger. This makes sense. I would not worry about temping if I were in your situation, but I do know that some people really like the ritual of it.

Good luck!

StacyLH24 · January 2014

Shortly after reading the updates earlier this afternoon, I ended up coming home for the day. I had a mini breakdown and didn't feel like sitting at my desk crying for another three hours.

I went to JC Penney on my lunch for two things...1. I needed to get my engagement ring and wedding band resized. They were getting to the point of leaving a mark on my finger and me not being able to get them on and off easily. They are a size 5 and it turns out I need a 7.
2. I need new (bigger) pants. At this moment, I weigh more than I have ever in my life. I'm guessing it is a combination of fertility meds, not exercising and not paying attention to what I eat. I know how to be healthy and am just not making a full effort at this point. I didn't find any pants. The petite ones (I'm only 5'1") were all too small and the women's sizes were all too long. I was always larger after I hit puberty. A few years ago I joined WW and lost 50 pounds and was in a size 4/6. Today I tried on size 18 petite pants and they weren't comfy. That is incredibly depressing. I realize with subsequent injectable cycles and possible IVF, it isn't going to get much better. I am hoping this weekend I will find pants that fit appropriately. I was decently bloated this past cycle, so I'm sure the next will hold the same. If I could just wear pj pants/sweatpants to work, this wouldn't be a problem

I'm glad to share this if it means anyone can relate and know you aren't the only one. A friend and fellow injectable fertility med user (previously) confirmed that it is normal and can be part of the process.

That being said - I'm off to clean off our treadmill so I can begin using it again. I used to thrive on exercise. I need to waken that part of me up again. Whether I lose weight or not, I need to be healthier in mind, body and soul.

@healz413 - thank you for the comment regarding my cancelled cycle. Though over responding is good in a way, it puts potentially getting pregnant further away. I have hope that it will eventually work out. Maybe IVF is the intended route for us. I am hoping not. Only time will tell...two more cycles to be exact.

StacyLH24 · January 2014

@baileyhugs & @rkbo- Welcome to the TTC Check-In. Thank you for joining us and please feel welcome to every Monday. There aren't many of us regulars left who are TTC, so the check in has been small lately. Please always feel free to contribute! My hope is that we will all move on to the Pregnancy Check In in the next couple of months.

pauljl · January 2014

We are in the thick of cycle 2 insemination- I'm thinking I will O tomorrow based on my chart. If I do, we will have had great timing- our known donor has been here the past three nights and planning on tomorrow too. I'm hopeful. I'm drinking green tea and sitting with my hips propped up. Eating all the "fertility foods". Who knows if it helps, but one cup of green tea a day and kale salad can't really hurt anything either, can it?

GTKY: I'm not sure that we've been at this long enough for me to have a big perspective on what I would tell myself. I do remember wondering why waiting two weeks to ovulate or test was such a big deal and now I realize what a joke that is. I'm the most impatient person on the planet.

@StacyLH24 and @healz413, Sending hugs your way. @StacyLH24 even though I never really WANT to exercise, I almost always feel better when I'm done. Clears my head and puts me in touch with my body. Hope it gives you a boost

singingmua · January 2014

I just had my monitoring sono/bloodwork this morning and it looks like I will be ovulating on the unblocked side this month which is great because that means we get to do our second attempt. BUT, the catch is that I am waiting on some results from my gyn re: some abnormal cells... Depending on what the results are, I may have to have a LEEP procedure done, which means sitting out a month or 2. My gyn put a rush on the results because she knows we are attempting to do an insemination this month, so hopefully I will have good news from her in the next couple days. It seems like every time we get a to ahead in one aspect of this process, we get a stop sign in another. *sigh* I'm in a very BLAH place right now... Hugs to all who need/want them.

StacyLH24 · January 2014

@singingmua - I hope all of your results come back to be within normal limits.

twobrooklynmoms · January 2014

@singingmua - Sending you good vibes, and hope you are able to try this month!

lamaitresse · January 2014

@StacyLH24 - thank you for sharing what's going on with everything right now... especially the part about the weight gain. This is one thing I'm concerned about re: starting fertility medication. I've been overweight my entire life and worked really hard the last two years to lose 50lbs. I think it will mess with my head quite a bit if I start gaining it back.

As for me... I haven't posted in a while partly because December was so busy but also because our TTC journey was on hold with waiting to be enroled in the donor program. Well, tomorrow we have our "orientation day" at the clinic... we meet with a counselor, financial planner, doctor, etc. and determine the course of treatment. Then on Jan 24 I go for an ultrasound for a uterine measurement. They sent us a huge packet in the mail with forms to sign so I'm pretty overwhelmed by all the information. I'm glad Smurf is a good note-taker... she practically transcribes everything that comes out of the doctors' mouths.

But this whole process may be going on hold until sometime in May anyway, because I have a ten-week contract in a different province, starting Feb 18. All we've done this whole time is wait, wait, wait. My clinic is very slow and I feel pretty convinced that between them and my crappy PCOS-ridden body, we won't be able to try before I have to leave. Sigh.

shelly2314 · January 2014

As I shared in an earlier post, we have been doing acupuncture to help. I have a mid-cycle u/s on Friday. It feels like this time is taking forever. I am scared that I will not ovulate this month, don't know why, just have this feeling. Not a very positive cycle for me, I know. But I am struggling with this a bit right now. I'm sure we will get on the right track and I will move in a more positive emotion, but we shall see.

QOTW: If you could go back and give your pre-TTC self any advice, what would it be?

It truly is an emotional rollercoaster. No matter how much you feel you are prepared, it will hurt and be very difficult. Take time for yourself and M. Enjoy what you can and what is meant to be will come. It is ok to suddenly panic and think that you might not be right to raise a baby...you both are and will both be excellent parents, should that be the plan for your life. Love ME

shelly2314 · January 2014

@StacyLH24 and @healz413I truly agree. I am truly struggling with positive thoughts and happy for all of my pregger family members, friends, etc

@baileyhugs, I am ready to completely block facebook if I read about one more "surprise...we're expecting" post

shelly2314 · January 2014

@stacylh24.....I, too, did WW last year and lost 15 lbs. I felt great and really worked at it. Then we started pregnancy journey and I have had a false BFP and several BFNs...I have gained back 10 of those 15 lbs and just do not want/feel like doing what I need to do to feel better about myself...but just can't seem to make myself do it. I am struggling to eat better and not snack, but cannt make myself move around.

It is a vicious cycle and I know this, but...

doodah1013 · January 2014

Hello everyone...

A and I have also been MIA for a while. The holidays were incredibly hard. We had two friends tell us on the same day that they were pregnant. It was horrible.... it felt like we had really done something wrong and deserved a punishing... (Even more than the rest of the last 12 months). Its hard because you are struggling already, and are trying to keep your head above water and then someone's BFP just puts you right back under the threshold. So we needed a break.

So where are we? We are 7dpiui. I had a pretty large scale panic attack yesterday that I have convinced myself ruined everything (if anything good WAS happening.) So there's that. It is very strange because I have actually felt really positive and brave the last week, and then yesterday I just freaked out. Oh well. I am following a strict @2mamazseattle regimen of tea, pineapple and pomegranate juice.

The IUI itself was absolutely a breeze. We are with an actual RE now, and it was apparent that they OBGYN practice we were going to really didn't have a clue what they were doing. Our sample count was 15.9 mill, which is just a number that blows my mind. And the actual procedure took all of 2 seconds... and didn't require a tenaculum (which the OBGYN's office used everytime, and nearly brought me to tears.) So this is good news. Our IUI was on New Years Day... and it felt like a good start to the year. We are allowing ourselves a clean slate with this new doctor.

So fingers crossed for IUI #9 to work. Only time will tell. Good luck to everyone else and thanks for listening.

StacyLH24 · January 2014

Welcome back @doodah1013. I'm sorry to hear things have been rough for you both. If you read all of our posts, you can see most of us are also in a funk/rough spot or whatever you want to call it. I'm glad that it seems switching to a RE has already made a difference. I hope that is all that was needed and that you will have your BFP in a few days.

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