not excited

Jess8589 · January 2014

I am 30 weeks pregnant and we are having a girl. We are already parents to a 3 year old boy. This pregnancy has been different all around, I was much sicker in the first trimester, I am much achier and she is much more active than my son. When I first found out I was pregnant I was not excited, and that feeling really hasn't gone away. This was a surprise baby and all I can think of is how much work babies are, how will our son adjust and how quite frankly I wish things were different. Our son is being very difficult lately, telling us 'no', disobeying us, hitting etc...and has been having troubles sleeping all of a sudden. I'm not sure how I am supposed to handle him, a newborn and eventually go back to work. I feel no excitement about this baby, and while I am glad she is healthy I am dreading the day that I have two kids - I'm not sure I can handle it. I hope someone can relate because I am feeling awfully lonely

countrymice06 · January 2014

I think that you are just going into it with a more realistic look. I know that I am not honestly a huge baby person, and I have not forgotten the newborn days....If I'm being honest, I wouldn't say that I truly enjoyed my daughter until she was like 8 months old. I am not going in this time with any illusions. It is for sure hard work, and there are so many times that it just plain sucks.

But....I do now know that everything is a phase, and everything has its ups and downs and no part of it lasts forever. Who knows? Maybe your son will reallly take to being an older brother, and maybe your second one will be a breeze.

Don't worry, though! You aren't alone- just honest! I think most second time moms would agree with you on some level.

PrimRoseMama · January 2014

You will make it. It's daunting when you have been there already. 2 is a whole other ball game. Try to list positives if you can about the new baby. You know the negatives. Good luck.

magentawarped · January 2014

It's going to be tough, but you'll adjust, and then it'll all fall into the regular routine. I will suggest, though, that if the "lack of excitement" feeling turns into something worse, like you feel hopeless or depressed, please find a therapist or a counselor, sooner rather than later.

SuperMom17 · January 2014

Having two is no joke- I will honestly say that it took me about 4-5 months when DS was born to not feel like I was just absolutely drowning.... But after that, it was really not all that different. With a supporting, loving DH or SO you will be just fine. Now I can't imagine our lives without two. And we are having a third, so hey... Can't be all that bad, right?

dunvilles · January 2014

I agree with everything the other PP's mentioned. I would also suggest mentioning this to your doctor and having your DH present when you talk to your doctor about this.

Tess024 · January 2014

Thank you for posting this!!! I am a FTM but I feel the same way, not excited. I'm afraid to say anything to people for fear of being judged or labeled a "bad mom".... This is my first, how can I not be excited??

I'm happy to see that this feeling is normal!

erind0213 · January 2014

This is my second... my little girl just turned 3.

I have been having that feeling somewhat too, and I always said I wanted more then one, but thought I'd know better then the time was right.

Now at almost 28 weeks I am trying to get as much time in with DD as I feel for her, and the fact she will have to get used to sharing the attention, all while lacking sleep, working and back in school.

Sadly I look at it as, I have a girl, and am having a boy..... I am done after this and won't have to go through it again. This pregnancy has been a bit harder on my body, but happy we won't be trying for a 3rd!

cy1980 · January 2014

I'm a FTM and I didn't feel excited to start with, just surprised as it took 2 years ttc. Then scared, then really sick. I have just started to get excited now, but also starting to worry about what comes next.

rainydayluck · January 2014

I feel very similarly, except this pregnancy was planned. I had PPD with DD and I am scared that these feelings of lack of excitement and "love" will make the PPD worse if it comes again. I am really hoping that attachment will get better after baby is born. I see a counselor since I am off my anxiety meds and I will be talking to her about this and see if she has suggestions.

Excitedmum35 · January 2014

This pregnancy was planned and I am looking forward to having another baby- but I'm feeling really blah and bored and impatient at the moment.

I would assume what you're talking about is anxiety about having two kids. I think most pregnant ladies have anxiety about SOMETHING- on my month board we had a thread about what we fear most and it was really interesting that some ppl are focused on the actual birth, some the recovery, some the enormity if actually having a newborn.

Having said all that, I am going to psychologist tomoz (I am diagnosed with anxiety due to a traumatic family situation a year or two ago) and I'm going to ask him whether he thinks I'm depressed. Well he will probably just know if I am, I won't have to ask.
I have no motivation, am soooo lazy and just cannot be bothered doing any housework etc.
I am making an effort to organise outings with friends tho.
If you have any other feelings to go along with what you have described, definitely talk to ur dr.

sammyfay88 · January 2014

I have felt guilty most of this pregnancy for not being as excited as I was with my first. I know I will love my son as much as I love the son I already have. I think I am more nervous about how my first son is going to react, he is super attached to me and I love that and I dont want it to change. My son is only going to be just over 19 months when his brother is born Im freaking out about being away from him while I'm at the hospital.

mcgeeva · January 2014

sammyfay88 said:

I have felt guilty most of this pregnancy for not being as excited as I was with my first. I know I will love my son as much as I love the son I already have. I think I am more nervous about how my first son is going to react, he is super attached to me and I love that and I dont want it to change. My son is only going to be just over 19 months when his brother is born Im freaking out about being away from him while I'm at the hospital.

I feel the same. My son will hopefully be just turning two if I make it that far when I deliver our next boy. I bet they will do just fine with a few tantrums thrown in there

There is enough love to go around...just time sharing will be a little tough in the begining.

Want a personalized experience?

not excited

Re: not excited

LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:

Choose Another Board

Search Boards