First DDF of the year!!

pettycrocker · January 2014

It's that time again. Now that the holidays are over, I'm sure we have plenty to vent about.

pettycrocker · January 2014

As some of you may notice (siggy), we are now on an indefinite TTC break. I got my period and had a nervous break down about the thought of yet another IVF and put the kibosh on everything. I just couldn't get on board with the idea of 7am monitoring when it's effing balls cold outside and snowing.

I need a break from treatments, I know this past cycle was a break, but I need more time. I am just too disenchanted by the whole thing.

I have all my meds, and we're "talking" about possibly reconsidering in March, just because I am hoping Spring will improve my overall spirit.

Jen071407 · January 2014

Mrs Castillo said:

As some of you may notice (siggy), we are now on an indefinite TTC break. I got my period and had a nervous break down about the thought of yet another IVF and put the kibosh on everything. I just couldn't get on board with the idea of 7am monitoring when it's effing balls cold outside and snowing.

I need a break from treatments, I know this past cycle was a break, but I need more time. I am just too disenchanted by the whole thing.

I have all my meds, and we're "talking" about possibly reconsidering in March, just because I am hoping Spring will improve my overall spirit.

((Hugs)) We all need a break from this shiz every now and then. You already seem to be getting back to your usual, happy self :bz We're here for you!

Jen071407 · January 2014

Dear Diary, I'm convinced Friday Night Lights (the series) is the only thing that's going to get me through this 2ww (I'm only on season 3 so no one ruin it for me!). Oh and Downton Abbey. Pretty much I'm going to watch tv for the next 13 days. And probable pee on/dip sticks.

CheesyPeas · January 2014

((Hugs)) to you @MrsCastillo! I like the idea of a rejuvenating spring. Do you ever look at averages on weatherspark.com? It helps get me through the winters. Knowing that we're already past the shortest day of the year makes me feel like there is an end in site. And although we're in the coldest month of the year for both of our parts of the country, February is described by weatherspark.com as a month of rapidly rising temps. Less than a month away from that!

CheesyPeas · January 2014

DD,

You know how credit card companies send year end summaries so you can see at a glance just how much you spent on pointless crap during the year? Could you please compile a TTC version for me each month to look back on past cycles? Every month my body does something a little different that makes me think "hmmm, this is unusual. I wonder if it means my body is finally figuring out how to be normal." This month it's absence of a pre-O breakout and pre-O cramping. But something weird happens pretty much every month, and you and I both know damn well it doesn't mean things have changed. So I think the summary would prove very beneficial in making me not lose site of reality. Or if you can figure out how to smack me in the head when I start getting hopeful, I'll take that too. Either one really.

CheesyPeas

Momarazzi007 · January 2014

Mrs Castillo said:
and we're "talking" about possibly reconsidering in March, just because I am hoping Spring will improve my overall spirit.

That's when we start up again too!! Here's to breaks and starting up again! We can be cycle buddies!!!

And here's my vent:

FU SIF. FU for costing us all, time, emotional stability, money, robbing us of our present and taking away the joy we should have and be able to concentrate on our loved ones now.

KC1212 · January 2014

DD,

I went to the gym last night and now my muscles hate me.

pettycrocker · January 2014

Dear Diary,

What the fuck is up with all these zits? I have straight up pizza face and it's disgusting. The only thing I did different (besides gettign my period which I suppose I can blame for some of the zits) is switch from BareMinerals powder back to my usual BB cream- my skin is SO FREAKING dry lately, I need the moisture from the BB cream, but wth is up with my skin?

freakyfast · January 2014

Dear Diary,

I have had a headache since yesterday afternoon, this is not the way to start off the new year. I can't take my migraine medicine for them, and Tylenol don't do shit. I also would like to know when these 'hot flashes' from the Lupron show up, since I am always cold.

pettycrocker · January 2014

Ohhhhh that explains why I constantly felt like a sauna on the IVF cycle! It was the LUPRON! That didn't even occur to me. Weird.

freakyfast · January 2014

Mrs Castillo said:

Ohhhhh that explains why I constantly felt like a sauna on the IVF cycle! It was the LUPRON! That didn't even occur to me. Weird.

I may or may not be laughing at you right now...

pettycrocker · January 2014

freakyfast said:

Mrs Castillo said:

Ohhhhh that explains why I constantly felt like a sauna on the IVF cycle! It was the LUPRON! That didn't even occur to me. Weird.

I may or may not be laughing at you right now...

I remember telling the acupuncturist "I'm usually cold ALL THE TIME, but lately I've been burning up ( I was on Lupron) but I don't think I am going through menopause."

I was being sarcastic but I'm pretty sure he made a little note "possible early menopause" in his fucking book. 8-|

annibes · January 2014

Dear Diary,

Why did I agree to two games tomorrow? One at 8AM, one at 920PM. That sucks. I know I'll have fun, but still..

Also, I hit my "it's never going to happen" phase. I am hoping the negativity either keeps me from testing altogether or at least weakens the blow from the BFNs that are inevitably coming my way in a few days.

Also, I hate the bank that beat us to a rockin' foreclosure. Enormous, beautiful house listed for X price in the foreclosure listings. Evil bank bought it out and then turned around and listed it for X price PLUS $130,000. We are going to offer tomorrow on it, at only 40k above the original foreclosure cost, and I'm sure the bank will reject the offer. Even if they accept, I'd be bitter about giving them $40k for the house, no matter how big it is.

Also, DS has been waking up in the middle of the night and it sucks.

And plus also, the 4 new babies that my family members had last year are getting to "that age" where their parents are thinking about siblings.. oh wait, one of my family members is already pregnant again... I'm sure the others aren't far behind, and I'm dreading the bitterness that I have to fight every time I see another announcement. I don't want to be bitter. I just want a freakin' baby.

AND, sad face, I found the "Big Brother" shirt I bought for DS when he was 1 year old. It was on sale for 3 dollars at Carter's, and they only had sizes 4T and 5 left. I snatched up a 4T, expecting him to swim in it when we first put it on him, but alas, it sits in the drawer as it has for 3 years. I was so sure I was making a stupid purchase, and it turned out it was stupid in the opposite direction because it will be too small if I don't get pregnant in like the next 3 months.

Damn, that was a long DD. I need a drink.

annibes · January 2014

Mrs Castillo said:

As some of you may notice (siggy), we are now on an indefinite TTC break. I got my period and had a nervous break down about the thought of yet another IVF and put the kibosh on everything. I just couldn't get on board with the idea of 7am monitoring when it's effing balls cold outside and snowing.

I need a break from treatments, I know this past cycle was a break, but I need more time. I am just too disenchanted by the whole thing.

I have all my meds, and we're "talking" about possibly reconsidering in March, just because I am hoping Spring will improve my overall spirit.

I'm sorry. I hope things look up for you soon!

Jen071407 · January 2014

Dear Diary,
Well, spent all of last night with a stomach bug vomiting every 15-20min. Could finally keep water down at 7am. I very rarely get sick, but when I do it's like near-death.

( uuuuggghhhh

pettycrocker · January 2014

Jen071407 said:

Dear Diary, Well, spent all of last night with a stomach bug vomiting every 15-20min. Could finally keep water down at 7am. I very rarely get sick, but when I do it's like near-death. ( uuuuggghhhh

Argh! That is terrible. Hope it passes quickly

annibes · January 2014

Jen071407 said:

Dear Diary, Well, spent all of last night with a stomach bug vomiting every 15-20min. Could finally keep water down at 7am. I very rarely get sick, but when I do it's like near-death. ( uuuuggghhhh

Aww feel better!

freakyfast · January 2014

Jen071407 said:
Dear Diary,
Well, spent all of last night with a stomach bug vomiting every 15-20min. Could finally keep water down at 7am. I very rarely get sick, but when I do it's like near-death. ( uuuuggghhhh

Yuck! I hope you feel better!!

CheesyPeas · January 2014

I hope you're feeling better by now @Jen071407. That sounds miserable!

pettycrocker · January 2014

I just finished a script of Cipro for an effing sinus infection, now I feel like I am getting sick AGAIN. Perhaps all the times my toddler hack/coughs in my face is wearing me down? I hope this is just residuals, because I am not down with another sickness.

Fuck you diary.

Jen071407 · January 2014

Thanks ladies! I literally slept all day yesterday and all night. Choking down some saltines now. On the plus side, as my IRL friend pointed out, this was a great New Years diet :ar!

Jen071407 · January 2014

DD,
Please make the illnesses go away! DD1 has had a fever since Friday and woke up today complaining her ear hurts, we're fresh out of children's Tylenol, and of course it's -23 but feels like -50. Not really ideal weather to be carting sick children around in. Did I also mention MH is on call tonight so won't be home until 4:30 pm tomorrow.
Aaaaand sorry for the pity party!

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