September 2013 Moms

Am I the only one still feeling this way?

I'm a stay at home mom and in the beginning months I didn't even leave the house ever! Anyways I thought it was fine and that it would get better but I'm still feeling really unmotivated.

Things I used to enjoy I can't even work myself to doing them anymore, like one of my bestfriends keeps asking me to do something (visit her place, lunch or shopping) and I keep finding myself making things up like "baby has a fever sorry I'm not gonna be able to make it"

Not only that, my sister keeps asking me to watch my goddaughter and usually I would jump all over any opportunity to spend time with her. I've been saying I can't or I'm too tired or whatever it is to get myself out of it. Tonight I just didn't have the heart to say no, so I'm stuck watching her until midnight (she's 2 and will be in bed by 9) and I can't help but feel anxious because I just don't want to watch her... I feel awful...

Am I still the only one? Is this postpartum depression or anxiety?! I'm not even sure you can catagorize what I'm feeling but it's making me feel like I need to get away from all people who want me to do anything out of my regular stay at home routine.

Re: Am I the only one still feeling this way?

  • I am in no way a doctor and have no experience with either PPD or PPA so take this with a grain of salt. But I don't think it has anything to do with either of those. I honestly think it's just kind of what happens. I love all of my friends to death, but I'm sort of a flake and we never really end up hanging out because I always find a way out of it. It was bad before but now I have LO and it's even worse. I've also noticed the ones that do have kids are the exact same way. I think we just get in our routines and enjoy our company we have at home so we just go with it.
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  • I feel like that a lot, but for me it's the frigid weather and snow, but also knowing thAt if my LO misses a nap, it throws his entire day and night off. So, I tend to stay in, so I have a happy, sleepy baby.
  • I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, it's hard to deal with. I think it's normal to feel this way, to a degree, but how many months PP are you? Part of it could still just be hormones and getting into a groove now that you have LO but it sounds like you feel this way most of the time and for a while now.

    I think it may benefit you to talk to your doctor. I'm not saying it's PPD/PPA but saying that you don't enjoy things like you used to and that you feel anxious about things like that sounds like it could be. That is certainly no way to live and there are a lot of options to help you feel better and enjoy activities again without getting anxiety from it. I'm in the same boat as you, along with a lot of other women, so you are not alone!
  • I feel like this and I am working. When I'm home though I just want to stay in. For me, just ripping the bandaid has helped. I usually end up feeling better after I go do something and I kind of buy myself more antisocial time.

    On one or two occasions I have felt really stressed while out and wished I hadn't left the house. So, I don't think it's unfounded or silly or inaccurate to want to stay in. Watching another kid right now sounds super stressful and tiring! I'm actually surprised your sister would be asking you to do that.

    Have you thought about just having people come to you? That's what we're doing tonight to watch the NFL playoff games.
  • It does sound like a little PPD to me. I dealt with this early on and one of the questions that I was asked a lot is if I am excited to do the things that I used to do. New moms will definitely want to do a little less once baby arrives, buy it sounds like you don't want to do any of the things that's you used to want to do. If I were you, I would at least contact your doctor to discuss this.
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  • You are NOT alone. It's such an adjustment and scary...I try to do one thing every day that gets me out of the house but even then it's ok to be home!!

     

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  • I felt like that a lot in the beginning until DH encouraged me to get out once a day even if it was just to go for a drive. Once I started seeing people I realized I missed things. Not all the time, but having some adult time or time out of the house made me feel better. I'm back at work now so I like being home at night. I agree with pp about having people come to you, it may be more in your comfort zone right now.

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  • BurrberrymumBurrberrymum member
    edited January 2014
    I'm 4 months PP now. Even having people come to me makes me feel this way. A little less, but I've still cancelled on some friends who just wanted to stop in and visit. Sometimes I'll tell myself I'm gonna go for a ride to pick up whatever it is I need at the store and when the time comes I seem to find every excuse in the book of why I don't feel like going.

    Christmas was beyond stressful, and I'm still having trouble winding down from that. The snow and -35C weather doesn't help either though.

    Also my LO has really bad separation anxiety so it's hard to even let anyone take her for a little so I can get out and run errands or do whatever without her. This is taking a toll on me, I feel guilty leaving her if she just screams her heart out until I get back..

    Is it my OB I would call about this type of thing or would it be my family doctor? Even the thought of going to a doctor appointment for myself gives me anxiety.
  • I get terrible anxiety thinking about even going to the store. I want to get out but then it just freaks me out. I don't know. Lo screams when he's in his car seat so that makes it worse. I wishing had recommendations. I should go to my doctor but the thought of driving there is what keeps me from going!
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