Concerned for LO

christinasullie37 · January 2014

Many would call me a worry wart but I just don't know about LO. There is something off with her and it has been bothering me. For starters she is making no attempt to say anything besides mamma and dada. Occasionally she will say kitty but it comes out more of a throat clearing sound. She doesn't mimic any thing or attempt to for that matter. Also she contantly reaches into outerspace at things and then when you ask if she wants the object (saying the name of the object) she points to something else until she just gives us. She also doesn't interact with any toys but to carry them around pacing the house for hours on end. If she does play with something she gets very upset easily with the toy. What gets me the saddest is that she wants no part of cuddling, sitting in my lap or held. This only happens when she is very very tired. Part of my is thinking that some of this is normal but then part of me doesn't. I talked to her pediatrician about it last week and he said lets just wait and see at her 15 month appointment where she is. I have contact EI and there is a three month waiting list for appointments. that would put LO at about the 18 month mark. I worry about her because she just appears to be down right unhappy and is always agitated. I am tired of walking on eggshells but at the same time, I don't want her to be upset and frustrated more than she already is.

We talk to her constantly, ready tons, and interact with her non stop. I just don't understand where I have gone wrong?

yepyepsms · January 2014

At 14 mos, this doesn't seem like your LO is abnormal. At DS's 15 mo appt our pedi only wanted 1-5 consistently used words. At 15 mos my son only said Mom and Dad and now at 19 months has about 20 words. At that age he also didn't interact with toys much and just explored and wandered practicing walking and getting into stuff. He wanted to be held a lot while walking around but was never a cuddler or sat on laps. He didn't sit on laps for books or cuddling until about 15-16 mos. So your LO might be on the verge of some of the milestones you're looking for.

Having said this, I always think there is something to a mother's intuition and you should stay on it and advocate for your child if you continue to think something is off.

fanofanne · January 2014

first, do not think that you have done anything wrong. second...i agree with pps, that you should go with your motherly/gut instincts, even for peace of mind. i don't think that the behavior you've described is abnormal...i have a few friends who say that their kids aren't cuddlers. and my dd constantly used to get frustrated with her toys and only recently started sitting in my lap to read a book. oh, and yeah, as lilki posted, our language explosion with the twins happened very recently too, and they're now 21 months.

RedDDD · January 2014

I just wanted to address your concerns and hopefully put your mind at ease a bit. My son didn't really have a lot of words at that age either. I think he was focused on walking. If they are reaching a big milestone sometimes they stop doing other things. He also has never really mimicked. He hates repeating words for you. My nephew is the opposite mimics everything you say. But all of a sudden somewhere between 18-20 months his language has exploded. As far as frustration my son used to get very frustrated and would angrily throw a toy....I think when he couldn't quickly figure something out he would just get ticked. So that I think is pretty normal. Same with the cuddling. I have a new moms group and there are three boys and three girls. ALL of us complained that they were not cuddlers until recently. I feel like that snuggling thing just started happening more. So try not to worry but of course follow you instincts and have her seen if that helps ease your mind. GL!

ashiscute · January 2014

It's hard to feel like it's not your fault when your child isn't meeting milestones and behaving the way you feel they should. Please try to remember that you are a good parent and are doing the right things for your child.

My DD was similar at that age. She had no words, did not imitate, and rarely babbled. She was so quiet people we spent a good deal of time with really never heard her voice. She didn't smile at people and was really only comfortable with me, DH, her grandmothers, and one aunt. I was very worried about her even though everyone said I should't be. But that's your job as a parent, right? I pushed for her to be evaluated for EI and she qualified for speech. She has since been diagnosed with a speech disorder and an oral sensory issue. I'm glad I listened to my instinct and not others around me.

If you feel there is an issue then please keep up with your Pedi and see if she qualifies for an evaluation for EI. All of those things are normal toddler behavior but that doesn't mean you can't be worried or there might not be a real issue. Good luck.

christinasullie37 · January 2014

Don't get me wrong we do play with her tons but she doesn't seem to have any interest in play. I guess I over react everytime I see video on FB on my friends lo who is one day younger than mine. He is talking so much and does so many things she doesnt. I know I shouldn't comparw. I did add myself for an appointment with ei.

ashiscute · January 2014

christinasullie37 said:

Don't get me wrong we do play with her tons but she doesn't seem to have any interest in play. I guess I over react everytime I see video on FB on my friends lo who is one day younger than mine. He is talking so much and does so many things she doesnt. I know I shouldn't comparw. I did add myself for an appointment with ei.

Don't beat yourself up. It is impossible not to do this. I felt the same way with my DD. She rarely smiled and was so quiet. It was hard not to feel like something was wrong or that I was doing something wrong. I can also remember feeling jealous of other moms when I saw their kids acting "normal" compared to my DD. But now my DD is laughing and singing and talking and friendly and you would never know how she used to be. She still struggles with her speech disorder and her sensory issues but she seems so much happier! I'd say within a month or so of starting therapy her demeanor really changed for the better.

Are there any toys she is particular to? Is there anything that seems to engage her attention more? I would try to keep offering those. Maybe there are too many toys and she is getting overwhelmed by the options? I don't know but I think you are doing the right thing contacting EI. Also, make sure to follow up with your Pedi and do not let him blow off your concerns.

hmontty · January 2014

I always sort of felt like our DD was a little different, so I know what you're talking about. The PPs are really focusing on the language thing, but I know from my own experience that that's only a piece of what you are feeling and sensing about your child.

My DD is now going on 3. She is very smart, speaking in full sentences (although her articulation needs a little improvement), very social, happy, polite, kind, loves to play with other children and with toys, etc. She is a good eater, good sleeper, good helper, and a wonderful big sister to our one-year-old son. She has amazing athletic ability and loves music and dancing.

All that being said, she is still just "different." I know now that she is older that there is nothing "wrong" with her. She's clearly not autistic and doesn't have any behavioral issues, social issues, or anything at all like that. She's totally healthy and normal...but just different. Her reactions to things are much more measured than other kids' reactions, and sometimes I get frustrated with what I call her "OCD-ness." Maybe she is just a little OCD, I don't know. Everyone has his or her own quirks and idiosyncrasies. But I am prepared for her to be a little off the usual course as she grows up, even if that just means she'll end up being a genius, or a celebrity, or a criminal mastermind...lol. No idea what, but I know it will be unusual.

My son, on the other hand, is just so normal. Super freaking happy all the time, easy going, and just very, very normal. I've never worried about him for a single minute.

I understand what you mean. I know it can be worrisome. I would definitely have your child evaluated just in case, even if you have to pay for the eval to get it done sooner. But please rest assured that there isn't necessarily something to worry about. Sometimes our DD's differentness is frustrating to us, but it's who she is, and she's awesome and unique and well loved by everyone who knows her. She just takes a little extra...understanding? Patience? Manipulation?

emberlee3 · January 2014

It sounds like you are doing everything you can, and pursuing EI is a great idea just to get a professional assessment. Your LO is still very young. DS only said about 5 words at 15 months. Have you tried teaching signs? Does your LO interact with other children? LOs love to imitate other children. You are doing a great job. Don't be hard on yourself.

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