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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
this+gamer+chick
member
Awaiting morning D&C...
this+gamer+chick
member
I'm from the July 2014 forums (I sadly have seen some familiar names here) and found out yesterday at my 13w1d appointment that my LO had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at almost 12w (2.5 weeks after my last appointment where I saw a healthy, arm waving baby). My doc recommended a D&C because of the age of the fetus and she was concerned about bleeding. The hospital couldn't get me in yesterday, so I have it in the morning. I can't sleep and am in shock since this was very unexpected. This is my second pregnancy but first m/c. The first pregnancy was terminated in college. I keep thinking this is some sort of divine punishment for that, even though logically I know it doesn't work that way. I didn't really feel sad or guilty the first time, just that I wasn't ready for a child, wasn't in love and thought it was necessary. This baby was conceived with my husband, planned and very loved. I'm just devastated and feel like this is some sort of bad dream I might wake up from any second.
I also know I may never know "why" but I am 28 and DH is 39, which increases the risk slightly due to paternal age. We want to try again eventually but I know I will be afraid during a second pregnancy and constantly terrified of losing another one. I don't know if this was just a one time thing or is there is something wrong with one of us (they won't test unless it happens again). We both cried at the appointment. I hate waiting and knowing my baby isn't going to make it. I gained 7lbs in 4 weeks - maybe due to the fact that LO wasn't absorbing nutrients anymore, though I don't know - could have been the holidays with all the food. I know so many of you have been here and I'm sorry. This is the last place I wanted to end up.
I also know I may never know "why" but I am 28 and DH is 39, which increases the risk slightly due to paternal age. We want to try again eventually but I know I will be afraid during a second pregnancy and constantly terrified of losing another one. I don't know if this was just a one time thing or is there is something wrong with one of us (they won't test unless it happens again). We both cried at the appointment. I hate waiting and knowing my baby isn't going to make it. I gained 7lbs in 4 weeks - maybe due to the fact that LO wasn't absorbing nutrients anymore, though I don't know - could have been the holidays with all the food. I know so many of you have been here and I'm sorry. This is the last place I wanted to end up.
MC 13w2d D&C 01/03/2014. Miss you, my little butterfly.
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Re: Awaiting morning D&C...