Maternity Leave Ending :(

Mayzie15 · January 2014

Unfortunately - the time has come and I will be going back to work full-time Monday and my LO will be 5 months on Tuesday. I know I'm incredibly lucky to have stayed home with LO as long as I have but can't help feeling guilty about returning to work and feeling like I will be missing out on huge milestones

It may have been a possibility to be a SAHM if we hadn't done two IVF's and had 30k in medical bills that we paid for OOP - we were lucky enough to pay for it without incurring any credit card debt - but it put a huge dent in our savings and we are contemplating IVF again to have a sibling for our DS. I just have so many mixed emotions - am I being selfish for going back to work and wanting to have another child? Will be DS thrive in daycare - will he get the same care there as he would at home? (I should mention I'm very comfortable with the in-home daycare we have selected). Will be son hate me for putting him in daycare or forget I'm his mom - I know a little dramatic - but it's how I've been feeling. For those ladies that have transitioned back to work - did it work out okay - I would love to hear some positive stories. I'm afraid on Monday and I will be a big blubbering mess

mcgeeva · January 2014

Making that transition is super hard especially with two months longer than I took I can't imagine even how much more attached I would of been. I cried my eyes out because I put my son in a home daycare a day before to test it out. But you know what I love my daycare, my lo is always super excited to see me, super attached at night etc etc. Tons of moms do it every day. Shoot if at a month if you hate your job and can't stand being away and if you can afford it then stay home. I don't have that option but I also enjoy working. It'll get easier hang in there! Your lo will survive and I swear they get so much love at daycare. My son is now 20 months almost and has even a few times cried when I picked him up because he is so attached to the one provider Lilly. To me that is a blessing. I know he is in good hands. Now on the occasional time I do drop offs he has cried now and then but again he loves his daycare and the kiddies there.

JBDamonM · January 2014

I second a lot of what @mcgeeva said. I will admit I had a very hard time starting daycare and going back to work. It wasn't easy, especially those first few days in daycare.....but literally by the third day when I picked up LO - they told me how much better she did. I have never looked back. I know she is in good hands and she has snubbed both daddy and myself for her daycare teacher on at least one occasion. She LOVES her. I love my days at home with her and try and keep her with me whenever possible.....but at the end of the day I have zero regrets about working and putting her in there. Good luck. Promise, it will get better

itsmevkb · January 2014

I sometimes wonder if I am the freak in the world of motherhood in that returning to work was not really that hard for me. I like my job and my career and have never really felt as though daycare or not staying at home is somehow doing my child a disservice. Perhaps that comes from the fact that I grew up around women who worked (my mother always worked and my paternal grandmother was quite the business woman) and I never felt slighted so I assume my children will grow up the same way. I do sometimes long for more time in my day just to get stuff done or to be able to take the kids somewhere on a weekday when places aren't so busy but that's a lot different than longing to be home with them 24/7.

Just give yourself some time to adjust to your new routine. No, your baby will not forget you! There is only one mom and you're it :-)

mdiblasi10 · January 2014

I went back at 5 months too. Dropping him off the first day was the hardest thing I have ever done! I know just how you feel. Now at 17 months old, it's much easier. Yes I miss him and wish I could spend every day with him. But he is learning so much!!! It's crazy! I really don't miss any milestones and he doesn't hate me for working

We love his teachers and his classmates, and everything they do with them. I'm not sure I could even do as much as they do on a daily basis! We want to be able to travel and give G a great, adventurous life and by both of us working, we can. We also live in California where it's tough to live on one income.

It will be hard. I won't sugarcoat it. But if you love the daycare, I think you will find so many benefits and you'll all be happy

hugs!!

imoverit · January 2014

Totally felt the same way about missing milestones and such. In the begining it was hard but got easier after. Hugs. Hang in there.

ccam · January 2014

I went back to work at 6 months. Like the PPs said, dropping off for the first time was really hard. But it was definitely harder on us then it was on DS. He loves the center he goes to! He has learned so much and comes home happy and exhausted! When I mention going to school and seeing his friends, he gets all excited.

The first couple weeks will be a transition for everyone. But you'll find your groove and it becomes second nature. And then you just look forward to your weekend time that much more

mnj05 · January 2014

I must be the freak too, it wasn't hard on me. I stayed home for 6 months before returning to work (I'm a teacher so I was off the last part of the last semester and all summer, except for my professional developments). I grew up with my mom running an in-home daycare two separate times, so I had that experience and knew mostly what to expect. I'm also just laid back when it comes to things like this. As far as milestones, my daycare doesn't mention if he starts doing something new until I say something about it. This way it feels like I am seeing him do new things first, whether it really is his first time or not.

It's nice to pick H up at the end of the day and him turn around and smile real big when he hears my voice. If he's around the corner and hears me, he will furiously crawl until he can see me then smile real big. Look forward to that reaction at the end of the day! You and LO will be fine, just allow for an adjustment period and know that you are doing what is best for your family situation.

Mayzie15 · January 2014

Thanks ladies I love being a part of this board. Everyone gave me such positive stories and different perspectives I wouldn't have thought about. I will probably be the one that primarily drops off and MH will pick up so the dropping off will be tough but I hope as others have said it will be more routine as I go. I've taken him a few times this month to get used to it and he really enjoyed all the other children so that's definitely positive

phishgirl29 · January 2014

Hugs. I go back to work in exactly a month and I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it. I'm sure everything will work out in the end. Just think of how great the snuggles will be when you see him at night!

jessica_gail2 · January 2014

Big hugs! It's definitely hard to be away from LO, but in my case, I feel like it's for the best. I LOVE S's daycare. I mean they are absolutely amazing. They love and dote on her, and have helped her development tremendously. I had to go back to work after S was 6 weeks old. It was awful and the daycare we originally put her in made it that much worse. I can't even begin to explain how horrible it made me feel. But, when we finally got her to the better daycare, the ease of leaving her was so much better.

LO will certainly not forget who his mommy is. He'll be so excited to see you in the afternoons, and it will make your time together that much more enjoyable. Good luck! It's not easy, but you can totally do it.

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