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BrandyMarks · January 2014

At this point I'm just being super supportive.. Is there more I should do? I have never been put in a position like this.. I'm scared for her child but if I tell anyone she will stop confiding in me. I just need some advice please..

Mrbatesisinnocent · January 2014

I'd ask her to clarify what she meant by that... You need to know what she really means before jumping to any conclusions.

lp0 · January 2014

I agree with pp, you need to figure out what she meant by that. I would encourage her to talk with her doctor, sounds like she may need more help then you can give her.

BrandyMarks · January 2014

This isn't the first time she has said something like this. About a month ago she was having a hard time and said she wanted to "f***ing kill her if she didn't stop crying soon" it's getting super scary the things she has said about her child.

BrandyMarks · January 2014

Her doctor told her to hang in there it will get better at 6 months. I think she needs a new doctor.

Aycul18 · January 2014

BrandyMarks said:
Her doctor told her to hang in there it will get better at 6 months. I think she needs a new doctor.

I think she needs a psychiatrist... I hope she isn't bring serious, because that's just scary. Babies cry... What did she expect? Some cry a little, others cry a lot... I would talk to her H if you have a good relationship with them and make sure he looks out for warning signs.

MissyC979 · January 2014

I agree about talking to her husband, if you're comfortable with that. It would also be good to share your concerns with your friend. She likely knows she's in a bad state and maybe you can be the push she needs to get help.

BrandyMarks · January 2014

I'm going to visit her tomorrow and plan to talk to her then. I'm afraid if I talk to her husband she will hate me and stop talking to me all together. I'm her only friend in town and would hate for her to lose the only person she can talk to about this.

Linny0316 · January 2014

This is scary. Get her the number of a good psychiatrist encourage her to find a different dr and tell her if she thinks she's going to do something rash to put the baby in a safe spot and walk away. Good for you for telling her to call you that baby needs you to advocate for her. I'd keep checking in with her as much as possible and maybe talk to her husband.

notkateanymore · January 2014

Aycul18 said:

Her doctor told her to hang in there it will get better at 6 months. I think she needs a new doctor.
I think she needs a psychiatrist... I hope she isn't bring serious, because that's just scary. Babies cry... What did she expect? Some cry a little, others cry a lot... I would talk to her H if you have a good relationship with them and make sure he looks out for warning signs.

Is this your first child? If not, I assume you didn't experience any sort of PPD with your children before this. When you are at the end of your rope, you are at the end of your rope.

notkateanymore · January 2014

BrandyMarks said:

This isn't the first time she has said something like this. About a month ago she was having a hard time and said she wanted to "f***ing kill her if she didn't stop crying soon" it's getting super scary the things she has said about her child.

You need to make sure her husband knows, or god forbid you will never forgive yourself if something happens. She needs to get a new doctor that is more proactive, but the chance she's telling her current doctor the whole truth about how she is feeling is very slim I would assume.

grannyweatherwax · January 2014

Aycul18 said:

BrandyMarks said:
Her doctor told her to hang in there it will get better at 6 months. I think she needs a new doctor.
I think she needs a psychiatrist... I hope she isn't bring serious, because that's just scary. Babies cry... What did she expect? Some cry a little, others cry a lot... I would talk to her H if you have a good relationship with them and make sure he looks out for warning signs.

Wow really? You can't always control pp hormones. Even STM or moms with lots of kids can get PPD.

grannyweatherwax · January 2014

Aycul18 said:

BrandyMarks said:
Her doctor told her to hang in there it will get better at 6 months. I think she needs a new doctor.
I think she needs a psychiatrist... I hope she isn't bring serious, because that's just scary. Babies cry... What did she expect? Some cry a little, others cry a lot... I would talk to her H if you have a good relationship with them and make sure he looks out for warning signs.

Wow really? You can't always control pp hormones. Even STM or moms with lots of kids can get PPD.

grannyweatherwax · January 2014

Aycul18 said:

BrandyMarks said:
Her doctor told her to hang in there it will get better at 6 months. I think she needs a new doctor.
I think she needs a psychiatrist... I hope she isn't bring serious, because that's just scary. Babies cry... What did she expect? Some cry a little, others cry a lot... I would talk to her H if you have a good relationship with them and make sure he looks out for warning signs.

Wow really? You can't always control pp hormones. Even STM or moms with lots of kids can get PPD.

Aycul18 · January 2014

I didn't mean to offend anyone, just saying the lady needs help is all... Likely she needs help from a psychiatrist or whatever other doctor treats PPD... I understand it's a serious issue.

I get frustrated when my baby cries too, but I don't want to kill her or hurt her!

Sorry if I upset anyone by my post.

n8swife · January 2014

Aycul18 said:

BrandyMarks said:
Her doctor told her to hang in there it will get better at 6 months. I think she needs a new doctor.
I think she needs a psychiatrist... I hope she isn't bring serious, because that's just scary. Babies cry... What did she expect? Some cry a little, others cry a lot... I would talk to her H if you have a good relationship with them and make sure he looks out for warning signs.

This is extremely insensitive. You clearly have not suffered from PPD.

OP, I would have a serious conversation with your friend and encourage her to talk to a different doctor. Sometimes it takes an outsider bringing it up to make someone see that there is an issue. In my case with DS1, it was my mom. My husband knew that I was unhappy but he didn't understand how deep the problem was. I hope she gets some help soon. That is a scary place to be.

notkateanymore · January 2014

Aycul18 said:

I didn't mean to offend anyone, just saying the lady needs help is all... Likely she needs help from a psychiatrist or whatever other doctor treats PPD... I understand it's a serious issue. I get frustrated when my baby cries too, but I don't want to kill her or hurt her! Sorry if I upset anyone by my post.

You are still being incredibly flip about the whole thing...that's what is offensive about your post. You obviously have no idea about PPD, I guess you should be happy about that.

blainethetrain · January 2014

KateMW said:

Aycul18 said:

I didn't mean to offend anyone, just saying the lady needs help is all... Likely she needs help from a psychiatrist or whatever other doctor treats PPD... I understand it's a serious issue.

I get frustrated when my baby cries too, but I don't want to kill her or hurt her!

Sorry if I upset anyone by my post.

You are still being incredibly flip about the whole thing...that's what is offensive about your post. You obviously have no idea about PPD, I guess you should be happy about that.

Yeah, thankfully I never had PPD, but the week after DH deployed, DS got rotavirus. I definitely had some pretty dark thoughts and had to call my mom to give me a break because one more diaper overflowing with extra smelly diarrhea would have tipped me over the edge. Parenting is hard.

BrandyMarks · January 2014

Thank all of you for the advice. We are having lunch tomorrow and I plan to talk with her about it then. We are good friends with her and her husband and I plan to bring it up to him as well.

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