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just saying (not exactly bfr)

nurrieumnurrieum member
in Blended Families
I follow some Facebook groups for step moms, what I keep seeing is just a bunch of hate. It then lead me to a groups that exclusively hates step moms. It's all very juvenile. I know we all have to vent, I'm right there too but there's a line. I'm really glad this board isn't that. We all have to vent but I don't see these huge hate fests and there's accountability on what kind of person you are, BM, SM, or whatever. It's nice to come back here, I was petty discouraged seeing all that hate and then to see so many others feeding the it.
Thanks gals.

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Re: just saying (not exactly bfr)

  • +just+j++just+j+ member
    Exclusively hates all SM's? Well thats stupid. Wendi, i wouldnt be surprised if BM1 and BM2 are members.

    Yeah, you dont need that toxicity. I think we try to take an honest look here and see both sides. We have a mix of BMs and SMS here so it would be difficult to go to far in any "hate" direction here.
    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • dklda071722dklda071722 member
    +just+j+ said:
    Exclusively hates all SM's? Well thats stupid. Wendi, i wouldnt be surprised if BM1 and BM2 are members. Yeah, you dont need that toxicity. I think we try to take an honest look here and see both sides. We have a mix of BMs and SMS here so it would be difficult to go to far in any "hate" direction here.
    Yeah, it's really sad, it's not just about like a specific person, it's literally like a :"step moms suck as a rule-altogether". I think generalizations of any group are always bad, there are good and bad parents period. There are good and bad people period and everyone deserves encouragement for their position. I think everyone needs a venting outlet but again, there's a line of feeding negativity that would be time better spent and just needing a place to dump it out and let it go. The sad thing is those groups are a mix of BM's and SM;s too but it's all in the perspective. I was really surprised people have time to hate like that. I hope someday they can let their shit go.  
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  • twister22twister22 member
    Hooray for generalizations and stereotypes!

    People are so stupid sometimes.
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  • nurrieumnurrieum member
    dklda071722 said:
    +just+j+ said:
    Exclusively hates all SM's? Well thats stupid. Wendi, i wouldnt be surprised if BM1 and BM2 are members. Yeah, you dont need that toxicity. I think we try to take an honest look here and see both sides. We have a mix of BMs and SMS here so it would be difficult to go to far in any "hate" direction here.
    Yeah, it's really sad, it's not just about like a specific person, it's literally like a :"step moms suck as a rule-altogether". I think generalizations of any group are always bad, there are good and bad parents period. There are good and bad people period and everyone deserves encouragement for their position. I think everyone needs a venting outlet but again, there's a line of feeding negativity that would be time better spent and just needing a place to dump it out and let it go. The sad thing is those groups are a mix of BM's and SM;s too but it's all in the perspective. I was really surprised people have time to hate like that. I hope someday they can let their shit go.  

    I wrote this- on my phone where I'm logged into my account. The heck- my screen says dklda071722 wrote this... so confused... I don't know who that even is... 
    Error somewhere..

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  • MrsHetzelMrsHetzel member
    I take pride in being an evil stepmother. My powers of evil are so great that even when I have nothing to do with a situation, am not physically located in the same state when something happens, I still get blamed. I mean come on people, that is power! ;-)
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  • nurrieumnurrieum member
    MrsHetzel said:
    I take pride in being an evil stepmother. My powers of evil are so great that even when I have nothing to do with a situation, am not physically located in the same state when something happens, I still get blamed. I mean come on people, that is power! ;-)
    That sucks. Yeah we have a BM and we could slap her in the face with the truth and it wouldn't matter. 

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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    MrsHetzel said:

    I take pride in being an evil stepmother. My powers of evil are so great that even when I have nothing to do with a situation, am not physically located in the same state when something happens, I still get blamed. I mean come on people, that is power! ;-)

    You must teach me your ways!
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  • IlumineIlumine member
    My SD calls me ESM (Evil Step Mom).  It is in jest and with affection.  

    I will say this, my SS has (and will more than likely say it again) called me out for not being his real mother.  

    This never once bothered.  Because I never once asked him to love and respect me like he would his biological mother or father.  

    I expect and would have like to demand that he treats me with the respect and obedience that any adult in his life, especially one that provides financial, logistical, emotional and legal support, in his life receives.  If he can be polite and respectful to his teachers and employers, he sure as hell can for me. 

    So because my expectations of him were never exactly parental, he never really responded with the YOUR NOT MY MOTHER stuff.  Because he knew/knows that holds no weight with me. 


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