Roller coaster

YaMrWhite · January 2014

Found out yesterday we were having twins. Found out today they were thoracopagus conjoined twins and chance of survival was pretty much nonexistent. What a sick and twisted game Mother Nature plays on us sometimes. I'm pretty terrified to have a D&C but I want to get back to normal so people stop coddling me.

babynica · January 2014

I'm sorry you're here

I'm here for you, you're in my thoughts always mama!

tumbleweed123 · January 2014

lmwunderlich i'm so sorry that this is happening. It is so unfair.

Allyson25 · January 2014

@Imwunderlich, I am so so sorry. I know what you mean about people coddling you. We are here when you need us.

YaMrWhite · January 2014

I just hope no one judges me for my decision. The dr made it pretty clear there was no chance of survival for the babies but it still makes this decision hard to make. I'm trying to schedule a D&C for as soon as possible so I can start healing. In the short 12 hours we thought it was twins we already decided on so much

tumbleweed123 · January 2014

lmwunderlich if anyone judges you, they are not your friend or part of your support system. The whole thing is so sad. I feel horrible for you...thoughts and prayers...keep us posted and let us know how things are. ((hugs))

YaMrWhite · January 2014

My D&C is scheduled for Tuesday. I have to go to the dr office to answer family questions and such on Monday and bc of where the office is located in relation to my home and my work, I will be missing both days. Was really hoping to not have to tell my boss anything but I think with missing two days, he will wonder. I also found out that my original drs office that referred me to a perinatologist (they said that was for determining whether we were having fraternal or identical twins) knew something was wrong the day of my 1st US and didn't say a word to me. They let me walk right out with such excitement and confirmation that things were good...which resulted in me telling close friends and family. Only to have to find out less than 24 hours later that nothing was fine. I'm so angry and feel I was mistreated by my OBs office.

tumbleweed123 · January 2014

lmwunderlich I'm so sorry about you having to miss the work, on top of all the rest of the suffering and pain. I also feel that I was mistreated by my OB's office. I am certain that they knew at the first visit that something was wrong and didn't say a word...I had a feeling in my gut, but they brushed me off and just said "congratulations!". Three weeks later (after suffering terrible morning sickness the whole time) I was told there was a problem. At that point, I was nearly 10 weeks and had told a few people out of necessity. We hadn't told our parents, but we had told a few people who needed to know, because I had to cancel most social dates because of my nausea....the nausea I endured because my OB neglected to actually be straight with me. I'm so sorry you are going though this...my case is a little different, but I very much understand your sadness and loss...

YaMrWhite · January 2014

@tumbleweed123 did you confront your OBs office? I've been seeing my dr since I was 17 and I have a very good relationship with her. She was out the day I came in so I didn't see her. I want her to be aware of what happened and how it made me feel.

tumbleweed123 · January 2014

lmwunderlich I plan to tell them. I'm also dealing with some not great billing issues. The office should have gotten pre-approval from my insurance for some blood work. They did not, so now I just got a *gigantic* bill for stuff that would have been covered had they done the pre-authorization. I'm begging the doctor's office to do a post-approval and trying to get that bill taken care of. As soon as that is done, I plan to let them know exactly how they failed me. The list is insanely long. It seems like a lot of women on this site have dealt with this kind of thing...it's especially horrible that you were mistreated by your regular office...I would definitely say something to your regular doctor. If nothing else, you might protect another woman from experiencing the same pain. I read reviews of my OB's office online, right after my loss and there are tons and tons of bad reviews for her and her staff. I'm horrified...I found them through my insurance, and had no experience or knowledge of the until I got pg. I'm going to see a RE on Monday, and hope to get a recommendation for a new, good OB when I need one. Fingers crossed.

YaMrWhite · January 2014

That's just awful! I hope you are able to get the bill taken care of. It sucks feeling like just another chart or a number instead of a real patient. And now you've got me wondering about reviews of my OB, even though like I said I've been seeing her since I was 17.

tumbleweed123 · January 2014

I know, it's crazy...this is probably the most sensitive, scary moment in our lives...and many times it seems we are just a chart. I'm holding out hope that my next OB will be better!!!

YaMrWhite · January 2014

jbiben said:
@lmwunderlich I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I saw you were posting to the TTCAL board in the from the DC area thread. I'm from the area too and struggling with the decision of whether to find a new OBGYN.

While I just started seeing them in September (just prior to my BFP) I feel like my care was questionable and my concerns were brushed off. It's an awful feeling not completely trusting your OBGYN. I'm researching new doctors and will let you know if I find any that stand out.

Ya that was a disaster. I only really bump from my phone so I can't see siggys and honestly forgot what mine was (picture of my daughter) and I offended some people I'm sure.

kikimeemee · January 2014

lmwunderlich said:

Was really hoping to not have to tell my boss anything but I think with missing two days, he will wonder.

Your boss can wonder all he wants, but you don't have to give up any details you don't want to. The doctor's office can write that you need to miss 2 days of work for a procedure...and nothing more. And the doctor can write the note on a prescription pad that may not have any pregnancy logos, etc.

I am very sorry to hear of your situation. I would imagine is does feel like a cruel joke. Prayers for you...

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