Searching birth records online?

whse13kittens · December 2013

Does anyone know if it's possible to search a state's birth records for certain years online? I just found out I might have a half brother, but all I have to go on (until my dad finally calls me back) is a first name and possible birth place/year.

Any ideas would be helpful. I don't know where to start if my dad won't give me information.

Nineoceans · December 2013

Is your birth father even listed on the birth certificate? Men don't need to be listed unless they're married or sign a paternity affidavit. I would ask him that first before investing a ton of time

whse13kittens · December 2013

Thanks @chattychiqa. I'm in PA and so is my half-brother, somewhere, so I'll have to see if we have something like that.

@Nineoceans - I'm seeing my dad at lunch today and will ask. But even if he's not on the birth certificate, he at least admitted to me this morning that he is the father of Matthew, so that means Matthew is my half-brother. At one point Matthew tried to contact us, but my dad (because he is an @$$) told him never to contact us again. I want him to know there's at least one person in his biological father's family who wants to know him if he wants to know us.

I have his mother's first name, his first name, and potential birth year/place as of now. Hoping to get a last name for at least his mom today. It will be a start. Any other places anyone can think to start looking?

If Matthew doesn't want to know us, I'll leave him alone. But I think he is owed, and I am owed, a shot.

Nineoceans · December 2013

No I know I was just saying don't look for your dad's name if it may not even be listed at all

You will definitely need some last names or I would hire a private investigator. First names and birth dates are not enough for public access

whse13kittens · December 2013

Good point. Sorry if I came off as crabby or defensive -- I'm pretty angry with my dad right now, especially because I have such little information to go on, and if he's not willing to give me any more than what I have today, I don't know where to start.

I just keep thinking about Matthew growing up thinking no one from his biological father's family wanted anything to do with him, and knowing how exactly wrong he was because I want something to do with him...it breaks my heart. My dad is an @$$.

+just+j+ · December 2013

kittens, my ex husband is 51. His mother kept secret for a very long time the name of his birth father. He just learned his name a few years ago, and he just located him this past year. You may have to wait a little bit. XH talked to family members and others who knew who his mother was dating at the time. He was often told what his father was like, how he looked just like him etc for many years. But no name. Finally the pressure of family made his mom give in. Keep working your dad. Talk to friends and family who know who this woman is. Keep digging. I don't think you can get information online, but I think you can request it from the county of birth if you have the appropriate information. Also, Ancestry.com is a wealth of information too these days if you have some last names. Facebook reveals a lot and is how XH was able to find his dad. Your dad may be an ass, and XH's mom may be a bitch for witholding information, but time has a funny way of working on people. They tend to loosen up in their old age and feel nostalgic and grow a heart. Be kind to your dad and pull on those heart strings when you can. Watch for an opening. And try working on forgiving him. You don't have to understand why he did what he did, but you can learn to just accept the past and work on moving forward. I know. Easier said than done. Good luck. I hope you find him.

twister22 · January 2014

You could always try the sharing a FB photo thing, like a picture of you holding a sign saying something like "My name is Kittens Smith and I need help finding my half brother! His first name is Matthew and his mom's first name is Susie. I believe Matthew was born in 19xx, possibly a little before or after. Our biological father's name is John Smith. Please share to help me find my brother!"

whse13kittens · January 2014

Thanks @+just+j+ and @twister22...I kinda forgot to update this.

My dad gave me all the information, including Matthew's full name, birth month/year, and his mother's name and location. Through the magic of the internet I was able to track down a phone number and address for Matthew's mom....I'm going to mail a letter to him to her house, and hope she will pass it along to him. From there, he can choose to contact me or he can choose to keep me away...but it will be his choice, knowing I want to know him if he's willing.

I was right, by the way, about my dad being an @$$. Matthew tried until he graduated high school to get in contact with my family -- he even sent us a graduation invitation. My father refused then and refuses now to have anything to do with him. He has asked me not to contact Matthew, claiming he is "not [your] real brother" because my dad has not seen him since he was 6 months old. I told him to do something not nice. Whoops.

+just+j+ · January 2014

Have you tried Facebook?

twister22 · January 2014

Wow your dad is an ASS. How much older is Matthew than you?

whse13kittens · January 2014

I tried Facebook but was unable to find Matthew under Matthew or Matt (which Google indicated he may go by). Nothing for his mom either, though I was able to find her, sans photo, on LinkedIn.

Matthew was born in 1982 and I was born in 1987 so roughly 5 year, though he may only be 4 years ahead of me in school (I'm unsure of which high school he attended and what the age cutoffs for his district are).

I'm hoping he'll want to know me, cause I want to know him, badly. We'll see what happens.

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