What would N13 do?

[Deleted User] · January 2014

So, let me start off by saying that I know this is a decision that DH and I have to come to ultimately, but I thought that I could use some outside perspective.

If anyone has seen my replies to posts, you know that our DS has awful reflux. He chokes when he eats, he throws up a lot of what he eats and he is just generally miserable when eating. He is gaining weight now, but the choking is what really is bothersome. We have been to the GI and he is on meds, nebulizer and changed formula.

Our daughter who is almost 3 has periodic fever syndrome- she basically runs a fever between 101 and 104 for 2-4 days every 3-5 weeks. On average she goes 24 days between episodes. She's been tested for everything you can imagine and all else checks out clear. It's not a serious condition, unless she has seizures with the fevers which has happened only once (thank goodness).

Now for the problem- I have had to take a Leave of Absence from work due to LO's not being able to be cleared for daycare yet. I am struggling so bad with if I can even go back to work. My boss and HR dept have been AMAZING in giving me the time I need, but my job is demanding and right now my boss is handling my 200 cases plus his own work. I am a hard worker and a control freak and I feel so bad not being back at work already.

However, I am paranoid about leaving LO at daycare. Now let me say I love the daycare and DD loves it too, but with the choking episodes I feel like LO needs to be watched at all times, and I know that they cannot realistically do that. If I go back to work I risk having to call out all the time because of DD getting fevers and now LO having issues. I will be stressed worrying about him and know that I won't be able to focus on my work like I will need to. However, I love my job.

The other issue is money. If I stop working, we will be fine financially but won't be able to move into the nice school district area like we had planned to before DD goes to Kindergarten.

I'm torn and DH and I have talked it to death- so ladies, what would you do?

babymama619 · January 2014

Sorry for the quick response: for me personally if I could afford to stay home with my kids I would. If you're home you can make up for what dd might lack in kindergarten if you were in a better district. I read your post yesterday about reflux and DC and I felt so bad for him and you and the DC!

tammura · January 2014

Like others have said, you have to do what's right for you! Personally, I would love to stay home if I could. If going back to work is what you want, I would recommend looking into a nanny. That way you know your also is getting undivided attention and you are still able to go to work.

JaysonandKristin · January 2014

Reflux will go away. I know it's awful, but LO will absolutely grow out of it eventually, and by 6-9 months it should really, really be under control -- still likely on meds.

Another option, have you talked to your GI about LO's reflux -- specifically, is endoscopy on the table? There could be an anatomical anomaly that is causing his issues. Which med is he on for his symptoms? Are you BF or FF?

JMHO, I would keep my job.

mmm50 · January 2014

I would see if part-time is an option if you really like your job and/or company, especially since most babies outgrow reflux by their 1st birthday. Maybe working part-time would ease you back into working and give day care a try to see how it goes/how you feel about it. In the meantime maybe your LO's reflux will improve.

If not I would quit personally. You'll be thinking about your LO all the time at work anyway, and if you can manage it financially, I say go for it.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

Thank you ladies for all of the feedback!

@babymama619 I have thought about being able to teach DD and DS at home, but I worry that she wouldn't be getting the same quality of learning with just me. But if I stayed home I would make it a must to educate myself better to keep up with what she should be learning.

@wedding06 I have thought the same thing- I feel like I would never be able to concentrate on work- and what I do has a lot to do with legal statutes and requirements to I really need to be on top of my game.

@2013JEM Thank you for the kind words. I think I could be happy at home, but it would be a huge adjustment and just such a different plan than what I had for my life so I think it would take some time. As for my marriage- I think it would be the same- both situations have pros and cons and DH is so supportive. The school districts are vastly different. The one we are in now has cut so many activities and classes and is now just very basic where as the one we want to move to would offer the kids so much more.

@shelbster25 Part time is not an option at the company I am currently with- I have asked my boss, but they need someone there full time.

@jaysonandkristin We have talked to the GI about the reflux- but not about endoscopy. We go back on the 30th and I will definitely bring it up then. We are FF and he is on Famotidine right now.

@LJGS1010 she has been to the urologist and had two U/S of her kidneys. She has reflux of her left kidney and we go back in April to see if it has cleared of if she may need surgery. It has caused UTI's in the past and every time she runs a fever they have done a catheter to check for UTI's, but it's never that.

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