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How to tell daughter about estranged father.

dearashdearash member
in Single Parents
My daughter is 6 years old. Her father & i broke up when she was just months old. I havn't spoke to him in almost 4 years. He obviously doesn't want to be present in her life. he lives across the country also. What should i say when she asks about him? Thanks.
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Re: How to tell daughter about estranged father.

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    MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    The truth. His name, where he is, and tell her he choose not to be there.
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    20thirteen20thirteen member
    Well, with her being so young, I'm not so sure I'd immediately tell her that he chose not to be there.  Tell her his name and where he is, yes.  But maybe first tell her that sometimes things don't work between adults.  When it's time to talk about sex, that might be a better time to really talk about why he isn't here.  At least, that is what I plan on doing with my DD.
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    MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Roxalot said:

    Well, with her being so young, I'm not so sure I'd immediately tell her that he chose not to be there.  Tell her his name and where he is, yes.  But maybe first tell her that sometimes things don't work between adults.  When it's time to talk about sex, that might be a better time to really talk about why he isn't here.  At least, that is what I plan on doing with my DD.

    Listen to roxalot, she said it better then i did. I guess im just choosing not to bring up bd to ds till ds asks about him.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    jokimotojokimoto member
    My ex is involved for the moment, but I'm sure at some point DD is going to wonder what happened. I will answer the questions she asks, with age appropriate responses and no more than she asks. I've also made the decision that actual truth will wait till she's atleast in high school. I wouldn't want her to feel like some how he didn't want her or doesn't love her enough until she can appropriately process these feelings.

    Also my niece has an estranged father, who has never been in her life. She's 11 now and has asked very little. She knows my BIL is not her father, but has shown very little interest in knowing about her biodad. My sister has also taken the approach of answer the questions she asks and so far my niece has been satisfied with that.

    Not sure if this helps. It's a tough situation, but being open to talk about it is good. GL
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