Building off of @lindsebert 's post

jenkellen · December 2013

So something I've been thinking about since your post Linds....a number of women on 6+ run the monthly check-ins. Do you think that adds to the 'living in the past' feeling? I've started to feel that way with my July board. Now that I am past my loss date I feel like it doesn't make sense for me anymore. The new women that have joined are in a completely different place than I am. I need to move forward and not think about what could have been. Curious of everyone's thoughts.

lindsebert · December 2013

I do understand what you mean. When Samjen first asked me to take over the May check-in it was right after my May EDD, but now so many ladies that I joined with have moved on. There are still a few that I've become close with that are in that check-in, but for the most part, the things that are happening with these ladies are where I was several months ago. I think it does kind of play a part.

The thing with me is that this most recent loss also had a May EDD. So both of them fall into the same category. The ladies that have joined the check-in as I would have, if I weren't already there, are going through some of the same things that I am with this most recent. I'm on the fence about it, I guess.

luciddreamer106 · December 2013

The September check-in that I took over is relatively small right now and everyone that participates regularly had a 2013 EDD. So, that group isn't quite there yet.

However, I felt this way in the April check-in that I participate in. When new members introed, I had pretty mixed feelings. It reminded me of how I felt when I first had my loss and felt like I was in such a different place than them. It was a sad reminder that it had been about a year since my first loss and still no baby on the way. I also felt it difficult to connect because I knew many of them would get to move on soon.

KMW08 · December 2013

I'm at a blah point with my checkin. It's the jan snowflakes, so our edd's & loss dates are coming up. I don't love doing it, nor look forward to it, but I don't really mind it.

I've actually been surprised that there haven't been many grads from my list. There's been a couple recently, but the majority of us are still there, and a few who are currently back to tta for various personal reasons. I do think new intros are harder to connect to, but I think it's because my group has basically been together all year.

What gets to me are the ones that grad, come back & have already graduated again. I'm happy for them but it really sucks & I hate it for all of us in my checkin, kwim?

I don't think it makes me feel like in living in the past. I try to think of it as being a support leader. Although we might be in differ places/time frames, I think it's a good thing to be a leader who is past the beginning stages. Somebody who has a little more knowledge & experience of ttcal and what it entails.

Otherwise it'd be a board of hi! Bye! Wtf was that, MIA, hpts, and rants. Ok so that might be what it's sorta like at times, but I think it'd be just like babygaga without all of us hard-hitters having leadership status.

luciddreamer106 · December 2013

KMW08 said:

I'm at a blah point with my checkin. It's the jan snowflakes, so our edd's & loss dates are coming up. I don't love doing it, nor look forward to it, but I don't really mind it. I've actually been surprised that there haven't been many grads from my list. There's been a couple recently, but the majority of us are still there, and a few who are currently back to tta for various personal reasons. I do think new intros are harder to connect to, but I think it's because my group has basically been together all year. What gets to me are the ones that grad, come back & have already graduated again. I'm happy for them but it really sucks & I hate it for all of us in my checkin, kwim? I don't think it makes me feel like in living in the past. I try to think of it as being a support leader. Although we might be in differ places/time frames, I think it's a good thing to be a leader who is past the beginning stages. Somebody who has a little more knowledge & experience of ttcal and what it entails. Otherwise it'd be a board of hi! Bye! Wtf was that, MIA, hpts, and rants. Ok so that might be what it's sorta like at times, but I think it'd be just like babygaga without all of us hard-hitters having leadership status.

@KMW08 I think you've worded this really well and I agree, especially with the bolded.

While it sucks that there ARE women in different stags of loss on our board, I think that's what makes it a great place. I remember when I first joined, that it was the seasoned members who helped me the most get through the hardest patch. It was helpful to see that the pain DOES get a little less with time and it was good to get advice from those who were further out from their loss.

EKGibs · January 2014

I was just thinking about this yesterday. My EDD was August 2012 and right now in the August check in it's just me and gscoville. I've gotten so bad with it I've missed the past two weeks. I'm feeling so redundant with it. I know there are about to be newbies coming in with August EDD's but I'm seriously thinking about turning it over. I've ran the check in for over a year and I'm not feeling it anymore. That's not fair to those who will be joining or to gscoville.

jenkellen · January 2014

Kudos to @KMW08, you have a much better attitude and outlook than I!

@snegde - glad you got my ornament...although right under the wire! I think you are right about the board slowing down eventually, but right now it's completely overwhelming and I honestly don't feel like making the effort if they are only going to be around a month or two. Or general ignorance of doctors orders *cough cough*. Again, like KM, you are stronger than I!

So far I really like running the IF one they are all extremely knowledgeable about treatments. It's something that is new territory for me, so I like having this group to reach out to and learn from. I also like it because it's more about moving forward. We do talk about our losses of course, but I am just feeling like it's a better fit for me.

Thanks for your insights ladies.

jap618 · January 2014

I don't run check-ins but I can't even handle posting in them. So kudos to all of you! I am so thankful for all of the check-in leaders, you are amazingly amazing people.

Building off of @lindsebert 's post

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