no....?

CanukMam · January 2014

So how do you say no? Or do you bother at this age yet?

Do you make it obvious that he shouldn't be doing something or do you just distract?

He likes to try and play with one of my plants, so rather then move it I am taking the opportunity to try to teach him 'No'. Personally I have been saying no and waggling my finger, its what I do with my cat

so I may as well be consistent. Then I also move him to play with something else. I just don't know if it's too early or if there are better methods I haven't thought of.

ClandestineX · January 2014

I say no-no and redirect him. He knows not to touch wires now. He still will look at me and almost touch it, and when I say "Connor..." he hovers his hands over it and then goes and finds something else. I think they are old enough to understand boundaries. I think it also depends on the kid.

Aprilbaby49 · January 2014

ClandestineX said:
I say no-no and redirect him. I think they are old enough to understand boundaries. I think it also depends on the kid.

We do this too. He does the same thing as Connor. He attempts to grab or touch the object. We say no and then he takes his hands away and touches something that he's allowed to have. He knows what no means. He doesn't listen to us all the time but he does most of the time.

JSS1002 · January 2014

Some of my mom friends swear by "don't overuse the word no, just redirect the kid to something else."

pinottoparenthood · January 2014

Yeah... I say no if he is doing something unsafe or if he is hurting me (like biting my nipple or smacking me in the face). I have heard to avoid saying no, too, but I'm not going to do that. I think parents are too pansy on their kids nowadays. Kids get away with everything and don't learn personal responsibility when they are babied and over-sheltered. The child needs to know what no means and that when I say no, he is NOT going to do something. End of story. I don't have a lot of patience for parents that let their kids do whatever they want. It's awkward for me when I am with a friend who lets her kids do whatever, and they're doing things to me or around my child that I don't want them to do. I don't feel like I can really say no to them because they're not my kids.... but it sucks. We have a friend whose kids are always hitting my H. They're playing, but they're actually hitting him as hard as they can. I don't like it, but there's not much I can do. So for my own kid, I am going to say no if his behavior is not appropriate.

*Phew*... end of rant.

ETA: As I say no, I try to redirect him. For example, if he is smacking me, I say no and gently but firmly move his hand away (and maybe hand him a toy if he isn't nursing).

BellaBean76 · January 2014

rgrundon said:

CJ loves what all babies do, cords, glasses, remotes, cable boxes, etc. Since she started crawling I've been saying "no", "no touch", "not CJ's" and redirecting. I feel she understands especially when she looks at me while reaching for the laptop cord for the 100th time with a little smirk on her face. She does listen when she goes to reach for anyone's glasses. The in-laws for one don't day anything but I will tell her "not CJ's" and her hand moves and she stops reaching for them. With the remote, I give her the play remote. Usually works. There are a few things that she will go after and will not leave it alone no matter how much I say "no" and redirect. She's persistent (and tiring, lol). I obviously see nothing wrong with saying no. I don't want her hurting herself or other people.

G does this all the time..she definitely knows what I am saying.

Angela814 · January 2014

The problem with overusing no is that it starts not to mean anything.

If LO hits or bites, you say something like "ouch, that hurts" and show them how to be gentle. If they reach for the stove, you say "hot" and redirect.

Kids aren't misbehaving because their parents didn't say "no" to them, they're misbehaving because they were allowed to continue the unwanted behavior.

I watch SIL tell her DD (6 yo) no 10 times in a row without actually stopping the behavior. It's the lack of follow through that's the problem.

ceamac0127 · January 2014

A definitely knows what 'no' means. She will stop what she is doing and look back at me. I have been meaning to ask daycare if they say no a lot because whenever I say no to her she looks back and shakes her head back and forth

Mommymorticia · January 2014

I try with no first and saying his name, trying to redirect his attention before he gets to what he's going to that he's not supposed to. When that doesn't work I say, "No, Torrin." And I explain why he can't have that or get into it. I don't think it's too early to explain. Then I take him to a toy and redirect.

efujan · January 2014

Great question! I love reading everyone's answers - there are a few more ideas I'll have to try . . .

Myles is getting into kitchen drawers & cabinets - and the baby-proof latches & locks don't really stop him. They just make more noise & he thinks that's fun. I tell him no and re-direct him. By the third time last night, I gently & firmly pulled his hand away, said no, and moved him into the other room. That's when the lip came out & the waterworks started. I was dying - for 2 reasons. It's totally heartbreaking to make them cry like that, and also equally hilarious because it makes me think of the "reasons my son is crying" blog.

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