At my whits end with breastfeeding ...

azmama20 · January 2014

I'm about ready to throw in the towel here. DD will latch with my assistance, but it feels like a shallow latch every time because my nipples still feel awful at 23 days PP. I have big breasts and DD has a tiny little mouth, so I think this is what's causing my pain. My nipples aren't completely flat, but they aren't like a platex nurser bottles or anything either. So I think that's what working against my BFing relationship here. I tried a nipple shield today, but LO refuses to latch with it. I only got her to latch once with it, but then she screamed and popped off like two mins later. I do not want to exclusively pump either, I feel like that would make me feel like I'm a slave to the pump, instead of a slave to the boob. You know? I guess my point is that I feel like giving up and switching to formula, but I'd feel awful for the money I invested into BFing, like nursing tanks and milk storage bags, etc. Luckily I got my pump thru insurance, so at least I didn't sink money into that. I guess I'd just feel like a failure and selfish for switching to formula. I know formula isn't the devil, or Pepsi or whatever, but I just feel like it'd be selfish of me to switch. But at the same time it's causing me to feel depressed and stressed and like I can't just enjoy my daughter. And help of advice would be appreciated. And also, sorry for the novel.

ETA: spelling. And forgot to add I had seen a few LCs while still in the hospital too. Didn't feel like it was really all that helpful.

Aycul18 · January 2014

We had a bf quitting support group going the other day :-) do what's best for your family... Stressed mama = stressed baby!

mightymousy · January 2014

*HUGS* BFing is incredibly hard work! I hope you find what works for you soon no matter what that is.

azmama20 · January 2014

Thanks guys for the encouragement. It's just been awful thus far. I really want to stick with it, but I can't be on the verge of a panic attack or crying every time she needs to feed. Maybe formula would get rid of this depression I've got going on. Cause I'm typically fine when I'm not worried about BFing.

dmbeatty87 · January 2014

You've got to do what's best for you. No shame in switching to formula, and be proud that you tried for this long. I gave up after 3 days, made it home from hospital too much pain from csection broke down in tears that night. SO just hugged me and said it was ok. LO's been on formula for almost 3 weeks and were both happy and thriving. So do feel bad or ashamed. Like the others said happy mom=happy baby

azmama20 · January 2014

@Cashingn2 Thanks! Same goes for you too!

grannyweatherwax · January 2014

I don't think it's selfish to want to enjoy your newborn or to be happy.

sweetsyrup · January 2014

I'm right there with you. I am using a shield and his latch is still not good. It hurts so much to breastfeed...I'm hoping another trip to the LC will help tomorrow. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this struggle...breastfeeding is so much harder than I expected! Hope you find something that works for you!

jokimoto · January 2014

You definetly need to do what's right for you and your baby. Switching to formula isn't a bad thing. My nipples aren't flat, but short I guess and my breasts are large. In the hospital they gave me a syrgine to use to pull the nipple out. Also, is there a mommy BFing group at your hospital you could go to? They maybe be better able to help and spend more time with you.

I honestly feel that my LO deserves the credit for BFing well, I'm still not completely sure what we're doing.

Hugs, GL and take of yourself!

tyedyeme12 · January 2014

Oh I wish you were part of the thread the other day! There are a bunch of us who really feel the same way as you. I switched exclusively over to formula earlier this week and felt guilty about it day one. Now, I feel so much better. I'm happier, LO is happier, I feel like a huge weight is gone. I was feeling so much anxiety about feeding, now it's no big deal (except making sure bottles are clean), but earlier it was making sure pump parts were clean.

Anyway, what I learned from the group the other day, when I was feeling down about the same thing was: feed your baby. Your baby loves you no matter what, and though she doesn't know all the effort you're putting into this, if she did, she would be grateful.

Also, I learned there are many formula fed D13 mommies on here who are fucking awesome.

azmama20 · January 2014

@tyedyeme12 it's been hard to bump when LO wants to nurse all the time and I have to use both hands to keep her latched. Hell, it's been hard to keep up with my water and food intake. I've felt like a damn milk machine. And I wish I had seen that thread too! Sounds like it was a good one.

2010weddinggal · January 2014

I'm part of the I hate pumping club, like cash I have been eating alot of unhealthy foods cause it is quick. I supplement formula all night cause I only get 2-3oz a session and by the time I feed,burp,change,soothe and pump next feeding baby is up to do it all over again. I may be switching to straight formula soon. It is a deep personal desicsion but it is one you make not because you are selfish but because you deserve to be healthy and happy as well. Baby will still grow and become amazing.

mh89 · January 2014

There's no shame in formula feeding, just remember that parenting is an ever changing thing, this phase will pass and breastfeeding will get easier, especially if you get help. With my first daughter it went from being the worst and most difficult thing ever to the best and most rewarding thing that I loved in a blink of an eye.

There are some really good deep latching videos on YouTube that could really help, and I recommend seeing a LC. Whatever you choose will be the right choice though, you're doing right by yourself and your baby both ways.

lollipoppoop · January 2014

I pump and formula feed, your not a failure but I do know how you feel

camedowncrushing · January 2014

DD#1 was a fantastic nurser, and really I can't complain about any problems...other than she was a milk monster big time. I nursed her until she was 21 months though, and I will say that after the first 6 weeks or so it got a lot easier. DD#2 is a week old, and I had to call a LC. She has a very shallow latch, and my nipples were being torn up. I was in so much pain. I had taken her to the pedi to see if she had tongue tie, and she didn't. The LC came out, and told me has a small mouth which is really tight. Her upper lip has a bit of a tie so it is making it painful to nurse. She told me I could take her to a dentist to see about getting the upper lip clipped, but I am opting not to. The LC assured me it is a matter of time to where it will become more comfortable. In the mean time she showed me some techniques to try to get the nipple further into her mouth. I also got a prescription for a medicated nipple ointment. It has helped.

cammyisagirlsname · January 2014

There is nothing wrong with FF. BF is not for everybody and you have to do what makes you happy. Because if Mama's not happy, baby's not happy. Hugs!

2010weddinggal · January 2014

I'm giving myself until he is 1 month old to either EP or turn to formula, good luck and lots of hugs to all the mama's who are having trouble!

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