S/O Working Moms

Drea926 · December 2013

I feel like I'm in the minority on here. I love being a working mom.

I feel like I have a great balance. Sure, it's been awesome being home on break, and I know Thursday will be tough going back, but overall I love the gig I got going. I get plenty of time in the afternoons with DS, plus teaching gives me all kinds of days off/vacations. If I were home all day, every day I would go koo-koo bananas. Because I'm not home 24/7 I have so more patience with the baby and I also feel extremely rewarded at my job. I also like the feeling of contributing to our mortgage, bills and DS's future.

Anyone else with me?

tamarar5 · December 2013

I work at home and sometimes I miss going to the office and getting away from the kids for a few hours. I know right now we just couldn't afford to send c to private school and put E into daycare, so I'll stay home, but there are times I'm envious of you moms who work.

ericalee27 · December 2013

To be honest, I wish I could go down to like ~30hrs a week to have some more time at home but still have my career and work to go to. And I wish I didn't have to work at nights/weekends. I'm typically working 50+ hrs a week and the serious breadwinner for my family, so I always really struggle my work/life balance. But I also know that I am not cut out to be a full time SAHM either.

Puck1182 · December 2013

I'm with you! Love DD, but I am so not cut out to be a SAHM. I might feel differently if I didn't enjoy what I do or if I didn't have so much flexibility with my job. But I can come into my FT job any time between 7:30 and 9:30, I get a paid lunch hour, and I basically never have to work OT. If I have vacation time and wake up one morning and just don't feel like going in, as long as I don't have any meetings schedule, I don't have to.

I work PT as a reference librarian, which is less flexible, but I usually only work 4-8 hours a week (sometimes 12 if I cover a last minute shift), it pays pretty well, and I really, really love it. It's what I'd like to do full time, but I'm not ready to give up the flexibility I my govt auditing job until DD (and possible future baby #2, who is still at least 1.5 yrs away) is in school.

I would have loved it if I could have continued just working 3 days a week at my FT job for DD's first year instead of just weeks 6-21, though. Some of her sleep regressions were pretty awful, so having every other day off to recover from bad nights was nice! Also, having time to do chores during her naps after good nights, so I wasn't up late doing laundry and cleaning and such! Cramming chores into non-working hours that don't interfere with bonding time with DD can be brutal sometimes, it's the only thing that makes me briefly think about how nice it would be to be a SAHM and be able to do that stuff during DD's daytime naps!

colinsfebmommy · December 2013

I work full time, and I do like getting away and I do like the paycheck. However I just wish maybe I could either go to 4 days or get off an hour or 2 earlier. Seems like when we get home I am in a mad rush to make him dinner and get in my play time before he goes to bed.

draeray · December 2013

MonicaMerkel said:

I work full time, and I do like getting away and I do like the paycheck. However I just wish maybe I could either go to 4 days or get off an hour or 2 earlier. Seems like when we get home I am in a mad rush to make him dinner and get in my play time before he goes to bed.

I would love to be a SAHM until school age but I can't since I am the bread winner. BUT it would be easier if I only had to work 4 days or get off a few hours earlier! My mother in law watches DS and she is with him for 12 hours a day and I get him for 3 before he goes to bed and part of that 3 is me making dinner for the family and then cleaning it all up.

singingsea · December 2013

I don't know it changes from day to day with me. There's days I'm almost in tears because I miss my son

and others where he's been an absolute nightmare and I'm thankful to go to work

I work because I have to but I think working helps me appreciate certain aspects more than I would have if I stayed at home.

I would love to cut down to four days a week but financially that's not in the cards at the moment.

colinsfebmommy · December 2013

draeray said:

MonicaMerkel said:

I work full time, and I do like getting away and I do like the paycheck. However I just wish maybe I could either go to 4 days or get off an hour or 2 earlier. Seems like when we get home I am in a mad rush to make him dinner and get in my play time before he goes to bed.

I would love to be a SAHM until school age but I can't since I am the bread winner. BUT it would be easier if I only had to work 4 days or get off a few hours earlier! My mother in law watches DS and she is with him for 12 hours a day and I get him for 3 before he goes to bed and part of that 3 is me making dinner for the family and then cleaning it all up.

Exactly the same here

Rynleigh · December 2013

I think choosing to work or stay home is such a personal choice, for both women and men. Your family needs to be cared for, and that includes financially.

For us, we have chosen to be a two-working-parent home, because we are lower working class. We have chosen to both work rather than have one stay home, so that we do not have to rely on state assistance for medical care or food supplementation.

In the past, when it was affordable, I worked while DH stayed home with our oldest. He enjoys things that our culture might portray as more "motherly" roles, like cooking and home upkeep and helping with homework. I prefer to have a work routine out of the house, with more day-to-day social stimulation, and I like to always have cash in my pocket to go do things like get groceries or earn a little spare on the side to take the kids out for a day at the zoo or whatever.

I love my kids and I love spending time with them. I don't work to "get time away" from them - I just don't have the stamina to be a stay-at-home anything.

While we are both working to support our family, our kids are with my sister (before the boys, we had a SAHM sitter who had cared for the girls for six years straight). They are loved, protected, and they get to spend time with a wide variety of people. I do not feel any regret over it. I love that they get to have so many experiences and learn from so many people.

If I could change anything about it, I'd have DH staying home and cut my hours down to maybe 30 per week. But that's just not an option, financially.

kleigh926 · December 2013

I work one day a week. Sometimes I wish it were more, sometimes I wish I never had to work, most of the time I'm happy with things the way they are. I love having enough time at home to get my daily chores done, still have lots of time with DD, and have some relaxation time as well.

My struggle is that I often run out of ideas to entertain a baby who always wants to be on the move and get into trouble

That's when I think it would be easier sometimes to have her in daycare. But honestly, I really think we have the best setup right now. We are not willing to pay an arm and a leg for day care when truthfully, I'd rather be home anyway. Working one day a week allows me to keep getting experience in my field/free CEU's through my hospital, and a little extra income.

djm31012 · December 2013

if i could work 3 days a week or be home every day by 2/3pm i would be fine working. But being out of the house and away from DS 65 hours a week is too hard. not sure how much longer i can keep it up.

kelly321 · December 2013

I work 1 day / week teaching ESL outside the home and 3 mornings plus one full day at home doing translations.

I love it. During DD1's first year I worked 7 hours total per week and found it really, really difficult. I was stressed, resentful of DH for the adult interaction he got, and like @kleigh926 , I didn't know what to do to fill all those hours with an infant. When DH took paternity leave for 7 months when DD1 was between 11-18 months old and gave me more time to work, I knew there was no turning back for me. I loved having more balance - working more and being able to enjoy the time with DD1 more because I wasn't feeling trapped in a role that I didn't sign up for (actually even before we became a couple I made sure that DH was ok with me working even after having any future kids since his mom was a SAHM. If he had wanted me to SAH, I wouldn't have started dating him.).

The only thing that I'm not happy with in this situation is the guilt I feel for not being perfectly happy staying at home with our girls. Financially, I almost could (I would just have to work a few hours a week). And if I were willing to not see DH ever (essentially), then I could SAH because he would be able to move on to a different job that pays better. But I want to see my husband, and I am not happy when I'm only at home with the kids. Such is life.

Drea926 · December 2013

Puck1182 said:

I'm with you! Love DD, but I am so not cut out to be a SAHM. I might feel differently if I didn't enjoy what I do or if I didn't have so much flexibility with my job. But I can come into my FT job any time between 7:30 and 9:30, I get a paid lunch hour, and I basically never have to work OT. If I have vacation time and wake up one morning and just don't feel like going in, as long as I don't have any meetings schedule, I don't have to. I work PT as a reference librarian, which is less flexible, but I usually only work 4-8 hours a week (sometimes 12 if I cover a last minute shift), it pays pretty well, and I really, really love it. It's what I'd like to do full time, but I'm not ready to give up the flexibility I my govt auditing job until DD (and possible future baby #2, who is still at least 1.5 yrs away) is in school. I would have loved it if I could have continued just working 3 days a week at my FT job for DD's first year instead of just weeks 6-21, though. Some of her sleep regressions were pretty awful, so having every other day off to recover from bad nights was nice! Also, having time to do chores during her naps after good nights, so I wasn't up late doing laundry and cleaning and such! Cramming chores into non-working hours that don't interfere with bonding time with DD can be brutal sometimes, it's the only thing that makes me briefly think about how nice it would be to be a SAHM and be able to do that stuff during DD's daytime naps!

I totally get that. I think the combination of my schedule and the fact that I actually enjoy my job makes it easy. My dad said that to me when I was a nervous wreck about going back to work. He was like, "Just think, you could be going back to a job you hate." It was a nice perspective.

musicalmama5 · December 2013

I feel like DH and I have the best of both worlds right now. I work 9-12 and 2-5 (nice long 2 hour lunch break

) and he works evenings/nights. So he stays home during the day and I stay home in the evenings. We see each other during my long lunch break (since we don't get to eat dinner together, lunch is our family time every day).

I love what I do. If I didn't love what I do, I'd want to stay home. But my personality is such that I wouldn't do well emotionally if I was a SAHM.

Drea926 · December 2013

@Sterling13 I couldn't have said it any better.

stephbethpeth · December 2013

I work part time, 32 hours a week. I think it has been a good balance for my family. DD is either with DH ( who doesn't go in to work until the afternoon) or with my mom while I work. She has all the love and attention she could ever want, so I don't feel guilty for having to go to work. I may feel a little guilty for the hour I take for myself after work to go to the gym. But we mamas deserve to take care of our selves for an hour a day....right? Right? Ideally I would be with her all the time, but for now I think its working pretty well the way it is

TarheelMama202 · December 2013

I work full time, but honestly, it's barely enough for it to make sense for our family. DH is a medical student and I work as a literacy coach. I'm in my 6th year working for the state, and our pay scale has been frozen the entire time. I make $32K. I carry DS' insurance, and I bring home about $1775 a month. We pay $1025 a month in rent and pay our nanny about $1600 a month. I basically pay to work.

If our financial situation were different, I would love working. But I am constantly feeling like I'm sort of wasting money on child care. I'm actually in the process of applying to graduate school to get my Master's in School Administration so I will be able to earn more money.

I know in a few years it will be all worthwhile-- DH will be a doctor and I'll hopefully be able to do whatever I want based off of that income. (He wants to go into dermatology). Right now, though, it's sort of a conundrum. I enjoy working but feel sort of silly doing so, if that makes sense.

Funnurse81 · December 2013

I work three nights per week, 12 hour shifts from 7:00pm to 7:00am, typically Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So I keep dd home with me during the day, and on the nights I work dh keeps her. I love that I've been lucky enough to keep her home with me this long. I plan to switch to day shift in February, so she'll have to be in daycare three days per week. I'm okay with that because I think she could benefit from the interaction with other babies and the structured learning environment. But to answer the question, I love my job and the income it brings in, plus the fact that I only get to work three nights a week.

vrlc1403 · January 2014

I work Monday thru Thursday 7-4. DD stays home with DH. I come home on my hour lunch break and feed and dress her for the day. It's the best we can do right now, but I hate leaving her. I want to be a SAHM soooo badly. I started a business in direct sales a couple months ago, and I'm hoping it takes off so I can cut my hours at work. My cousin started the same business before I did, and she now only works per diem and gets to stay home with her two LOs almost every day. I'm really trying to make this happen for me too!

SLGILL1978 · January 2014

I am with you! I work for the school district as well and I get the same breaks as the teacher and kids do. However, if I had a different job it might be different circumstances.

musicalmama5 · January 2014

Funnurse81 said:

I work three nights per week, 12 hour shifts from 7:00pm to 7:00am, typically Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So I keep dd home with me during the day, and on the nights I work dh keeps her. I love that I've been lucky enough to keep her home with me this long. I plan to switch to day shift in February, so she'll have to be in daycare three days per week. I'm okay with that because I think she could benefit from the interaction with other babies and the structured learning environment. But to answer the question, I love my job and the income it brings in, plus the fact that I only get to work three nights a week.

When do you sleep when you have DD during the day and you just worked 12 hours overnight?

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