It got me.

SCBride2007 · January 2014

You'd think that being willing and able to still breastfeeding after my nipple was cut off at 3mo PP, and going through horrible mastitis at 5mo pp, and dealing with at minimum 80-100 clogged ducts during the last 6 1/2 months, that I'd be able to push through thrush as well. But I just can't. I've had thrush now for about a week and a half. It's in my ducts. It's the worst pain I've ever felt. I had it with my dd too, and that caused me to stop BF at 6 months with her. Now, at 6 1/2 months with my son, I am quitting again. Every time I nurse or pump, I am in horrendous, agonizing pain for the next two to three hours. It feels like glass coming through my nipples. It is terrible. Last night I told my husband, in tears, that I just couldn't do it anymore. He supports me 100%, of course. I just feel like my body failed-- again. We had to go to target to buy formula. I broke down sobbing in the formula aisle. It's not that I think formula is bad, it's just that I had a goal, and I didn't reach it. So now, here I am, engorged like you wouldn't believe, cabbage leaves in my bra, sudafed in my system, just praying that I don't get mastitis on my way out of breastfeeding. Not a good day.

SCBride2007 · January 2014

Thank you for your kind words MelOHdy. I'm trying so hard to remember what I DID give him instead of what I didn't. It's just hard.

Nix55 · January 2014

Oh sweet girl, you are such a fighter. You did well. Take care of yourself, so you can take care of those LO's.

HeartLikeMine3 · January 2014

I would have never made it through all of the struggles you did. You are an amazing mommy and it will be so much better when you don't have to stress and be in pain all the time. I know it's hard to accept HUGS!

Maelara · January 2014

You have done so good and lasted way longer than I would have. I know what it's like to break down in the formula aisle *hugs*

KellenHi21 · January 2014

You lasted much longer than I would have in your situation. Don't dwell on what didn't happen, be proud of what you accomplished against so many odds! You are amazing in my book!

No longer the best · January 2014

Yeah ditto - amazing!! You deserve a drink, chocolate, whatever your guilty pleasure you deserve them ALL!

mommakristydawn · January 2014

I agree with PP I don't think I could have lasted as long as you did. My body just quit producing milk when my DD was 3 months. One day I just had zero BM. I felt bad but I just am grateful that my daughter got at least 3 months. You did AWSOME getting to 6 months. With all you have been through you shouldn't feel bad about deciding to be finished breast feeding. Hope your boobies get better!

amberdt03 · January 2014

If I were in your shoes, I would have quit a long time ago. You are so strong and an amazing woman to fight through everything to keep going! Here's hoping you're able heal quickly!

RedCherry1109 · January 2014

((BIG HUGS))! You lasted longer then most people would have, don't be so hard on your self! I finally had to quit too(different reasons)! Happy Momma happy baby!!

NicoleReed0324 · January 2014

Another mommy that would've quit a long time ago if I were you! You are amazing and have given your little one such a gift by lasting as long as you did!! I hope you feel better soon.

Murphie82 · January 2014

I just teared up reading your post. I'm so sorry you didn't reach your goal, but you made it a lot longer than I would have given the issues you've had. I hope the engorgement goes down soon and you can move on knowing that you did an awesome job providing breast milk for 6.5 months.

needanustart · January 2014

You are such a strong and amazing mom. Most, probably myself included, would not have been able to push through what you have and continued to BF. 6.5 months is AWESOME! I give you so much credit. All the same I totally understand your breakdown buying formula. It wasn't really your choice so give yourself time to be anger or upset with how it ended but try and be kind to yourself. Hugs to you and I hope your body heals up soon!

SCBride2007 · January 2014

Thank you so much, everyone. I really appreciate the kindness you've all shown me.

I am miserable with engorgement and rock hard breasts, but I will get through this--hopefully.

You ladies are wonderful!

jennOK · January 2014

You have gone above and beyond. More than I could have ever done.

ChristyD6 · January 2014

Congrats on 6.5 months! That's a great accomplishment! Sorry you've had such a rough go of it

SJ7108 · January 2014

Wow! You are amazing. You went through so much these last 6.5 months and pushed through to STILL bf your lo. Like PP have said, that is such an accomplishment. Great job!

LiLi23 · January 2014

You are far better than I would be in your situation! Don't think of it as not reaching your goal. That's not true at all. Breastdeeding is HARD and with all the hurdles you faced you still stuck it out for 6 1/2 amazing, agonizing months. And that's incredible. I hope you start to feel better soon. Congrats on making it as far as you did!

lioness13 · January 2014

Awesome job!!!

nikel13 · January 2014

Hugs! You did great and made it a ways! You went through so much and I would be pretty proud of myself if I were you.

valerie4977 · January 2014

You are a hero! Reading a few months ago about the nipple hacking in the doctors office was wrenching and I had no idea you kept nursing. Don't berate yourself; you have proven to be a very tough BF mama.

cynthia2007 · January 2014

CatalinaPink said:

I just teared up reading your post. I'm so sorry you didn't reach your goal, but you made it a lot longer than I would have given the issues you've had. I hope the engorgement goes down soon and you can move on knowing that you did an awesome job providing breast milk for 6.5 months.
+1 this is exactly what I wanted to say. Exactly this

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