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Separation anxiety vs something is wrong

welly01welly01 member
in Working Moms
DS is 14 months old and has started having occasional separation anxiety when he is dropped off at daycare.  It started a few weeks ago and is becoming a normal thing every time we drop him off.  I know that around this age, this is totally normal.  (It peaks around 18 months, right?).  My question is, how do you know the difference between normal separation anxiety and them trying to tell you something is wrong?  For example, if there is a teacher that he doesn't like or maybe a particularly aggressive classmate he doesn't like.  He recently got a new teacher in his room (in addition to the two regular teachers he has had for a long time, not in replacement).  Even though the separation anxiety started before she started, she's not my favorite teacher that he's had.  I just want to make sure I'm not brushing off his separation anxiety as normal if it is something more serious.

P.S. I'm not worried that anything is wrong in his room, I'm just wondering how you tell the difference between normal and serious?
                                                                                          BFP #1 3/2/12, T born 11/7/12
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Re: Separation anxiety vs something is wrong

  • djm31012djm31012 member
    Hmm this is a good question. I would say because of the age its most likely just separation anxiety, especially if you are saying its occasional and not every day. How does he seem when you pick him up at night? If hes totally fine, and having fun and his reports are coming back good, then I would think its safe to say its just separation anxiety. If his persionality is changing/hes becoming more inhibited all the time , etc, i would explore the possibility of an issue at the center or with another student. The only way to know for sure is to talk to the teachers and maybe do random pop ins if thats possible to catch them off guard and observe whats going on. If there has been any hitting/biting etc by another student, they would notify you. 
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  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member
    christel811 said:
    I thought the same thing for a little while.  What I did was wait around (somewhere where she couldn't see me) to see how long she cried. Usually she stopped within a minute.  She's in the same building as me, so I can see them playing outside and I saw she was happy and having a good time.  I also was able to observe her before I picked her up in the afternoon and see that she was very happy and loving towards her teachers. 

    This is what I did and it was exactly the same thing.  Within a few minutes she was hugging her teachers and running off to play with her friends. 

    Separation anxiety always made me so sad, but I really think it was worse for me than for her.  They get past it.  Now DD says "Bye, bye mommy!" and runs off. 

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  • APendolaAPendola member
    I don't know if there is really a way to tell.  Unfortunately, at that age, they just can't tell you what goes on at the daycare during the day.  

    My little one cried for a while at drop-offs and when I picked her up.  Now she is happy when she gets there and sometimes she doesn't even want to go with me when I come to pick her up.  That part breaks my heart a little...but at least I can be confident that she likes it there.
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