Please tell me I'm not a bad mom

Re: Please tell me I'm not a bad mom

• n8swife member

  January 2014

  It's hard but let your DH figure it out. Unless your baby is in some sort of danger, try not to worry. I was the exact same way with DS1 and it put a huge strain on our marriage. Try to get some rest while you have the chance!

  

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• insertclevername member

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  You have to give your H a chance to learn how to soothe your LO on his own. Trying to control how he cares for him will lead to resentment in both of you. I hope you can get some rest.

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• Aycul18 member

  January 2014

  I agree with PPs. I'm sure your H will do just fine!

  

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• MamaGrillo member

  January 2014

  You're good. They'll survive !
  
  I put J down last night, and told H he may need to soothe/pick up/pat her again, but I was going to take a shower. I barely made it into the bathroom, and she started crying. I started the shower and took a nice long one , shaved pits and legs.
  Because I smelled. Because she was fed, and I gave myself permission not to rescue.
  

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• NurseKMM member

  January 2014

  Thanks everyone. I feel I shouldn't have even had to ask such a silly question. But, your responses have made me feel better. I'm letting them be. I truly appreciate it.

  
  

  
  
  Dream celeb baby daddy- Prince Harry

   

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• FutureMrsCaesar member

  January 2014

  I totally agree with everyone else, it is tough but definitely let DH work it out unless LO starts crying consolably.  Your DH just needs time to figure things out, then he'll get some confidence in himself and you'll get some confidence in him well. 

  
  

   
   
  

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• redmond_steph member

  January 2014

  When I leave LO with DH it's the same thing. I leave them to figure it out themselves, but then when I go back down later say to DH something along the lines of "if you find that x isn't working to calm him down, I usually try this, this or that instead." That way I'm not being critical, but still giving suggestions. I find DH just finds that one thing that worked before to calm him down and tries to use the same move every time rather than switching it up if it's not working.

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• grannyweatherwax member

  January 2014

  You gotta let DH do his own thing & figure out how to be a dad. It will be okay, you need to be able to take care of yourself too.

   
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• RockiesNugget member

  January 2014

  DH has become the master of the 5 S's in our house. Right now I am trying to keep my mouth shut as he gives LO his 1 bottle a day. I feel like LO is eating too fast, but he is doing the things I showed him initially and LO still prefers the boob, so I just need to go with it.
  
  It is hard as I am a control freak by nature, but I know that I would be so much more stressed and overwhelmed if I didn't have his help. So if I want his help, I have to let go.

  Not bumping on The Bump anymore

  

  Great Support, Great Conversations, and more than just Cloth Diapering at our new home

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• linzy2202 member

  January 2014

  I too struggle with this bc I feel like DH doesn't really have the patience to soothe her. And really it might be that he doesn't know bc he doesn't have any experience with babies at all ao he's uncomfortable. But, I know I have to let him learn and just offer suggestions. But dang it, it's so hard to not be critical, especially when you're really sleepy.

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• zou bisou member

  January 2014

  Ditto all the PPs plus ear plugs, noise canceling head phones, or white noise devices.  Whatever keeps you from hearing the whimpering while you get some sleep.
  

  Our family is complete!
  

  
  

  

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• myeverything1203 member

  January 2014

  Same thing here. DH probably gets irritated...but every time I leave she cries and when I go back out there to hold her she stops

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• mamaj1220 member

  January 2014

  I try to leave them be but SO will usually bring him to me when K is just not calming down. We have also already noticed that there are a few certain times where he is getting ready for a long sleep period that only mom will do. I'm totally fine with it and SO is too because he gets the happy baby time and he's much more comfortable then.

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