New Here and just starting

Sparky1014 · December 2013

Hi,

I've been lurking here for a while, and decided it was time to join. I've always wanted to foster/adopt, and am just starting the process. I am a 26 y/o single female, was wondering if anyone else had fostered/adopted while single. I'm ready to start my family, and while I know single parenting presents challenges, I think I'm ready for it. Advice from anyone who's BTDT would be appreciated.

maryoosa · December 2013

Welcome @Sparky1014. No advice on the single foster/adopt thing- but there are certainly plenty of foster to adopt folks here!

pcrumley · December 2013

dont have any advice, i just wanted to say welcome, (im new too)

[Deleted User] · December 2013

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plus12012 · December 2013

I haven't done that but know quite a few people who have and the best piece of advice I can give you is take advantage of any foster parent / adoptive parent support groups they may have in your area. Welcome and best of luck.

IdigDirt · December 2013

Welcome! I'm not single and still waiting on my home study to be approved so I don't have advice yet but hi

smwrocks420 · December 2013

Welcome. We were one of two married couples in our PRIDE training. The rest, 5 women, were looking to foster or foster/adopt as singles. So, there are others out there to share your experiences with. I would also recommend taking advantage of any support groups you can find or making friends during training. The amount of time and energy required for fostering (visitation, special doctor appts., court dates, etc.) can be a bit overwhelming when you add it on to everyday life and having a good support group will help tremendously.

irismorning · January 2014

I am a single parent by choice, welcome to the club! I adopted my two beautiful boys when I was 29.

Being a single parent by choice is easily the hardest and yet most rewarding thing that I have done. I actually did not plan on it, though I always knew that I wanted children and “mister right” had not come around. I was also adopted and so I also knew that I wanted to adopt sometime in my life. I have never regretted my decision.

That being said, it is HARD. You really need to factor in a few things such as expenses (kids are expensive). As a single parent by choice, there is no CS or other people helping you financially. (Not that all those who should receive CS actually get it.) Children are just as expensive when they are older as when they are infants. The other thing to consider is time. I work a wonderful job where I only work when the children are in school. I am blessed that this job offers me a good income as well as great hours. Work can also be difficult if you do not have a supportive boss. My youngest has asthma and had chronic ear infections as a baby. The first 2 years of his life, I was at the doctor with him every 10-14 days. He has had tubes surgically placed in his ears three times. All of these occurrences take time away from work. As a single parent, you are the only one who can take time off, even with normal colds and such, this can eat up your sick and vacation days very quickly.

Also you need to think about how you will address things like school projects involving the father. (My kids make things for uncles and grandpa.) It is not a huge deal, but don’t let it catch you unawares.

Becoming a parent has been the best and toughest thing that I have ever done. I would not change it for the world! Feel free to PM me if you have specific questions.

Sparky1014 · January 2014

@irismorning, thank you so much for your detailed reply! I'd thought through some of the issues you mentioned, but not all of them.

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