Toddler visiting hospital when baby comes

yzgal247 · January 2014

So I've been thinking about how to handle my sons visit to the hospital after baby is born. My son will be 2 almost 3 and I'm nervous that if my parents bring him to visit in the middle of the stay he will be upset when he has to leave and his mommy and daddy stay. The other option I've been considering is having him come to the hospital when we are getting ready to come home. That way he is part of the bringing baby home moment. Any advice or past experience that would be helpful to me in making up my mind about this?

oceanangel0502 · January 2014

When my sil had her second child she had our older niece who was 2 1/2 at the hospital for a little while each day. She did ok with mommy and daddy staying bc she was excited for sleep overs with her grandparents. My sil was in the hospital for 4 days bc she had a c section. I think it may be harder for your son if he doesn't see you until you go home then if he gets to visit

AriaAmante143 · January 2014

I'm a FTM, but when my sister had her second they had their first come for a little bit each day they were there. She felt it would be easier to ease him into seeing her with a new baby, rather than wait until the day they left. It might be overwhelming to hit him with not seeing you for a few days, a new sibling, and going back to your house with said new sibling all in one day. My parents also had a fun activity planned for my nephew each day after leaving the hospital (going out to dinner, shopping for a present for the baby, etc), so he had something to look forward to and wasn't just focused on leaving Mom & Dad behind.

yzgal247 · January 2014

Thanks ladies! I'm already so nervous about my sons reaction. I know that the guilt of a mother is normal but I just want it to be a great experience for all of us!

BabyVDM · January 2014

I will only be allowed to stay overnight if it's V delivery. Possibly 24-36 hours if C-Section. I figure if I had an older child I'd just keep them at home until the time came to bring home baby.

Course, I'm a FTM and maybe talking shite right now.

VineyardMel · January 2014

DD will e 17mo and we'll have her come the afternoon aftery c/s as long as baby and I are doing well. I have horrible images in my head of what it will be like when she leaves. I'll probably send DH with her to walk to the car with them and try to keep her calm. I'm guessing she'll come for a visit everyday, but we'll see how it goes.

erind0213 · January 2014

I plan on having my recently turned 3 year old there to visit and meet her brother....I was only in the hospital for 36 hours after delivery and hope to only be the same this time around.

I honestly would like her to be the first visitor after we have the baby aside from those who are in labor and delivery with me (DH, my Mom and probably MIL).

SmittyPants · January 2014

I have the same fears which is why we're thinking of just having DD come when we're ready to head home. I think it might be too confusing for her to see me somewhere else and not going back home when she does.

JAck5209 · January 2014

I think my 19 month old will visit for a little bit each day that we're in the hospital. I think I'll miss her if she doesn't visit. I imagine that she'll stay for about and hour and then go home with my mom. I don't anticipate any problems.

NortyLeigh · January 2014

My son will only be 14 months when this DS is born. I am already so sad at the thought of him not being with us for days. Not sure how he will do when he comes to visit. He will be too little to understand.

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MA&CB · January 2014

Mine will be 4, so it's a little different, but I definitely want him to visit every day. He might be sad to go, but I know he'd be sadder not to come at all. He's very excited to meet the baby and will want to see me.

Andreabills · January 2014

I'm a FTM, but when my best friend had her second I came over and babysat her DD (she was nearly 3) for the day. She was super excited to spend the day with "Aunt Awnie." We went to Chic Fil A for lunch, went to Target to get her a special toy and her new brother a special toy just from her that she picked out. After the baby was born my BFF wanted some family time with the 4 of them and then their daughter was going for a special slumber party with her grandparents.

The little girl did great, I think she was so excited that she got special treats that day that she was okay with being away from mom and dad for the day and night.

orriskitten · January 2014

I didn't even think of this, although DH will be staying at home with DD after I deliver. He will be with me during delivery and for the hours after DS is born, then he will go home to DD. She is not used to being with my dad and step mom, so we figure it'll be easier on her and all of us if DH is home with her.

I hope to have her up for a few hours each day I'm in the hospital to visit (2 days for vaginal birth at my hospital). This way DH can spend some quality time with our new squish in the first few days

megs68 · January 2014

I was so worried about DS visiting and getting upset but he was totally fine. He was 23 months and was so distracted by being in the hospital and all that was going on that he couldn't have cared less about the new baby or me, surprisingly. Worry for nothing, it as no big deal.

dannie2011 · January 2014

My oldest was 22mos when I had the second he flipped out. After that I didn't have anyone bring the kids to the hospital to see #3 and 4. They were much older when I had #5 but only 2 wanted to come to the hospital to see her. Now with this little one I may wait it out again till we get home as Alexis is very sensitive emotionally and would probably flip out too.

KariB509 · January 2014

Thanks for asking this question! I've been thinking about this. I want DS to visit as soon as possible (he will be nearly 3 also) because I'll miss him and want him to meet his baby sister but I also don't want to upset him when we don't leave with him. That will definitely make me feel terrible.

katykatykaty · January 2014

orriskitten said:
I didn't even think of this, although DH will be staying at home with DD after I deliver. He will be with me during delivery and for the hours after DS is born, then he will go home to DD. She is not used to being with my dad and step mom, so we figure it'll be easier on her and all of us if DH is home with her.

I hope to have her up for a few hours each day I'm in the hospital to visit (2 days for vaginal birth at my hospital). This way DH can spend some quality time with our new squish in the first few days

This, I think. Hopefully my husband will be spending time at home with our daughter so her transition to and from the hospital with him won't be too bad.

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